Bird Flu, meet Hurricane Wilma

[shereads]

Today's Bird Flu Alert Level: Canary Yellow.

Happy Monday morning, pornsters. Parts are falling off of my house. The floors are warping so badly, visitors think there's a cat hiding under the rug. The gorgeous 1939 stepped-tray-style plaster ceiling (my favorite part of the decaying jungle compound) is crumbling to powder and littering the living room floor. I have left messages with four building contractors who bought ads in the Yellow Pages under "Home Repairs/Renovation," promising to rob banks, if necessary, to make one of them rich. Not one has returned the call.

On the upside, Tropical Storm Wilma isn't expected to become a hurricane for at least another day or two, and I'm only a five-minute drive from a jumbo cafe con leche. With extra sugar.

How is your week so far?

 

[Guest]

well, since you asked:
we need rain so badly that im afraid if we lean on a tree it will disintegrate into a pile of wonderful termite food.
its weird to see the ground with alligator skin!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I'm so fucking scared of the bird flu, I don't even let my kid watch Foghorn Leghorn anymore.

 

[Liar]

Fall is here at last. And it's frikkin cold. When I went outside this morning, I could feel my balls running to hide.

And yesterday I bought a garlic press. I can't believe how I survived 4 months without one. Had chicken wings with garlic and basil. Bird flu eat your heart out.

 

[shereads]

well, since you asked:
we need rain so badly that im afraid if we lean on a tree it will disintegrate into a pile of wonderful termite food.

Do NOT feed the termites! I know they're cute, and it's awfully hard to resist those big sad eye-stalks. But if you leave food out, it only encourages them to multiply.

 

[shereads]

I'm so fucking scared of the bird flu, I don't even let my kid watch Foghorn Leghorn anymore.

"That boy is about as sharp as a pound of wet leather."

~ Foghorn Leghorn. My hero.

 

[shereads]

Fall is here at last. And it's frikkin cold.

I remember cold. I liked it. It's that weather where you can control your comfort to an extent by wearing certain clothes, right? We don't have that here. Send some south, okay?

When I went outside this morning, I could feel my balls running to hide.

Beware of Labrador Retrievers!

 

[rgraham666]

I remember cold. I liked it. It's that weather where you can control your comfort to an extent by wearing certain clothes, right? We don't have that here. Send some south, okay? Beware of Labrador Retrievers!

Since you asked, sure. But no bitching when your tits freeze, OK?

 

[amicus]

21 named storms this season, I am absolutely positive that the Kennedy's or the Clinton's are somehow behind all the tropical disturbances....but Wilma...makes me think of the Flintstones....

Nice to see you out and about again...hope eventually you get your palace back in shape....regards....

 

[mack_the_knife]

Fall is here at last. And it's frikkin cold. When I went outside this morning, I could feel my balls running to hide.

And yesterday I bought a garlic press.

Are you altogether certain that your balls were hiding from the cold?

 

[Guest]

New hurricanes turn Greek after Wilma, right?

 

[Guest]

21 named storms this season, I am absolutely positive that the Kennedy's or the Clinton's are somehow behind all the tropical disturbances....but Wilma...makes me think of the Flintstones....

Me, too.

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/wilmaslut.jpg

 

[Guest]

New hurricanes turn Greek after Wilma, right?

Manxie!


Yep, they do. Atlanta 'canes, anyway.

So it will be Hurricane Alpha rather than Hurricane Amicus.

Pity.

 

[minsue]

well, since you asked:
we need rain so badly that im afraid if we lean on a tree it will disintegrate into a pile of wonderful termite food.
its weird to see the ground with alligator skin!

You get used to it, sweets.


PS - It's raining here.

 

[cantdog]

Here, too. Lots. All the streams look like the spring runoff. Flood warnings every day.

 

[yui]

How is your week so far?

Kind of good, kind of sucks. The moon is lovely, but it's getting cold here; I want to go home and brave Wilma. Here, every time you blink there is a bit more color in the mountains, and when the wind blows, it like you are in this snow dome of falling leaves. Very cool. Emotionally, I'm drifting, lost, homesick, feeling alone, but other than that, I'm good.

Luck with the contractors in Miami; I am given to understand they are some of the most corrupt in the free world. Be well. Be safe.

Much luck,

Yui

 

[LadyJeanne]

Put a little something in that cafe con leche, sweets. It won't help fix the ceiling, but you might notice it less.

Here, every time you blink there is a bit more color in the mountains, and when the wind blows, it like you are in this snow dome of falling leaves.

That's lovely, yui. I can see the swirling leaves.

 

[cantdog]

She says her writing falls short of her expectations or at least of her hopes for it, but she has a real ear for a phrase, and acute eye for telling detail, and a heart.

 

[Stella_Omega]

She says her writing falls short of her expectations or at least of her hopes for it, but she has a real ear for a phrase, and acute eye for telling detail, and a heart.

Yes, I've noticed that myself... Maybe it's just not your time for Big Writing, Yui, maybe you're just*storing up the material that you will use later.

 

[shereads]

Hurricane Freaking Wilma changed her projected path during the night and could pull an Oz this weekend. If it's a Category 3 as they're saying it will be, the decaying jungle compound will be used lumber by Monday.

"Shoot me! I demand that you shoot me now."

~ Daffy Duck

"If I have to live without electricity for another week, just scoop out my eyes with a grapefruit fork."

~ Shereads

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've been watching the doppler online, and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

[shereads]

Kind of good, kind of sucks. The moon is lovely, but it's getting cold here; I want to go home and brave Wilma.

House trade?

Emotionally, I'm drifting, lost, homesick, feeling alone, but other than that, I'm good.

I know that combination of feelings. There should be a word for it. As long as you can add the, "other than that, I'm good," you're made of sterner stuff than a period of homesickness can defeat. Just don't let it go on too long before you find a way to relieve it, okay?

Luck with the contractors in Miami; I am given to understand they are some of the most corrupt in the free world.

Corrupt? We prefer to call them "self-policing."



Right now, I would settle for a corrupt contractor who shows up.

The Bright Side: if a roofer had returned my calls a month ago, I'd be waiting for my half-completed brand new roof to be destroyed this weekend! It's better this way, right?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

The Bright Side: if a roofer had returned my calls a month ago, I'd be waiting for my half-completed brand new roof to be destroyed this weekend! It's better this way, right?

I'll send you a tarp and some sterno.

 

[hugo_sam]

I'll send you a tarp and some sterno.

Just head on up to Alabama. Always find room.
Place ain't much but it is dry. Heat and AC works.
Like my Great Aunt used to day:
If you can't find something ask.
If we don't have it, we'll tell you how to do without it.