Bigotry from a friend - what to say?

[leaf_shadows]

I have a friend who I know is politically conservative, so we don't discuss "sensitive" topics, but somehow today homosexuality came up. I forgot that idiocy can be hidden in an otherwise decent-seeming person. Silly me.

This person actually said things like "as long as they don't touch me or my kids" and "they better not try to convert me" and "don't expect me to treat them like they're normal because they're not" regarding gay men - and then had the chutzpah to say "but I'm very tolerant of gays - I'm not a bigot."

I'm afraid that while I tried very hard to discourage this conversation from the beginning, I couldn't help getting hot under the collar and saying a few things back (like "homosexuality doesn't equal pedophilia; I doubt a gay fella's gonna just up and 'touch' your kids" and "it's not a religion that needs converts to boost the tithe amounts").

We basically made excuses to be elsewhere quickly after that, so it wouldn't escalate. But I'm still bothered (outright angry to be honest), and I wish I could have said something a little less sarcastic that might make him realize that what he's saying is indeed bigotry/ prejudice/ false tolerance. Or is it hopeless? He was truly surprised when I called him a bigot.

 

[Pookie]

A lot of bigotry is caused by people's ignorance and unfounded fear of things they don't know or fully understand. It can be very difficult for some to let go of it too, especially if they grew up with it all around them.

 

[donnabear21]

A lot of bigotry is caused by people's ignorance and unfounded fear of things they don't know or fully understand. It can be very difficult for some to let go of it too, especially if they grew up with it all around them.

I agree with pookie. Sadly I did grow up with it all around me. My whole family is full of racists and bigots. I went the opposite direction and ended up tolerant of anyone who is tolerant of me. Its hard to change someones life long opinons. Its not hopeless to try and educate them so they wont make such rash statements as the one your friend made but sometimes you just have to accept that people dont want to change what they believe. They want to have the opinions they keep but refuse to believe that they are bigots. I have several gay friends and am bi myself, but sadly i married a man who is so homophobic that he freaked when i told him i was bi. He said that he wouldnt have married me had he known. This is the type of opinion that is hard to change but sometimes you just have to learn to live with it. I wish it were different but the world is not a tolerant place for differences. maybe some day it will be, but right now its not.