Bigger, better, shit?

[Nucleus]

Bigger, better?

Bigger

The story is irrational. I can't believe, that character of Ted is such a depressed and simpleminded man, because he is a college graduate and sure intelligent enough to realize what happens with cindy, alicia and also mike.

Edmead you describe acting characters, I won't believe they're exist in real life. I know persons who are stupid enough to do it in this way, but they don't have any graduate. They mostly live in a lower class of society without good literacy.

Anyway, I don't understood the suicide. It's really unmotivated.
Are people, living in USA so stupid, as do you describe them?

Sorry, bad story but not in every case

Nucleus
(Germany)

 

[Mayu]

I loved your story its very good, very detailed, I agree killing yourself does nothing, I have someone in my family that did that so I know all about it first hand.

 

[Nucleus]

Hello Sarah,

This is not my story. It is from Edmead

I don't critisize the basics of Ed's writing. It's ok. The developement of characters is incomplete. I can't understand, how a intelligent man (college graduate) allowed three persons to fool him. The story don't explain this to the reader. That's the deficiency. Teds behavior is not logically described.

Nucleus

*my stories: Feenzauber
Seifenblasen

 

[Mayu]

aw I see

 

[SweetErika]

Nucleus, why didn't you send anonymous feedback to the author via the link on the story? They're far more likely to see that than this thread. Many authors don't visit the forums.

 

[Nucleus]

Hi Erika,

I did, but got no answer, no reaction. Therefore my post in this forum.
Never mind, visitors of this place may also discuss about stories. I am not depend on authors reply. It would be beautiful he does, but not necessarily.

friendly greetings from germany
Nucleus

 

[FallingToFly]

From an author's viewpoint...

Sometimes, we really do forget that our readers aren't inside our heads with us, and don't know the characters as well as we do. It's a stupid mistake, and we do all make it from time to time. My "Fall" is a perfect example- it has NOTHING worthwhile in it beyond the stroke value, and even that is screwed up.

We don't mean to leave you hanging, and we don't do it deliberately. We get so into writing the story that unless we have a gauntlet of first readers to run things through, we don't catch them in self-editing. We read what we thought we wrote.

It's embarrassing, but it's true. I'm sorry you got so tangled in this, but I'm absolutely positive that the writer didn't do it deliberately.

 

[curl4ever]

Bigger

The story is irrational. I can't believe, that character of Ted is such a depressed and simpleminded man, because he is a college graduate and sure intelligent enough to realize what happens with cindy, alicia and also mike.

Anyway, I don't understood the suicide. It's really unmotivated.
Are people, living in USA so stupid, as do you describe them?

Dear Nucleus,

I didn't have time to read the story as slowly or carefully as I would have liked, but I do have to agree that the motivations for the characters' emotions did not jump out at me either.

On the other hand, depression and suicidal thoughts are often quite irrational, pervasive, and difficult to escape using intelligence or logic alone. If you expect that education or intelligence make a person immune from suicidal thoughts, you are badly mistaken. (witness the depression support threads here on literotica)

- curl

 

[Nucleus]

Until the discussion about contents of edmeads story moves away, I wanted to make only clear, that the characters of HIS story are not enough developed. Developing of characters is a creative writing basic.
Thus, as the characters were described, does not explain its actions completely.
I missed in his story the elementary components of character development.
I am a reader and writer.
I find, it am fair to communicate this to the writer.
Perhaps I am too fastidious. Sorry.

Nucleus
* Before discuss it's sometimes better to read about base of discussion