Big or hard?

[squarejohn]

Is it more important that your male partner get fully hard, or would you rather a big dick the can only get half hard?

 

[SweetErika]

C) I'd rather have a partner who didn't focus on his cock size or hardness.

But given the choice between a fully functional and a dysfunctional cock, I'd rather have the former. Size is a non-issue, as long as it's not way too small to achieve penetration or so big that sex is painful (i.e. in the neighborhood of under 3" or over 8" and/or very thick).

 

[subwannabe]

I don't really know what a half hard dick would be good for. One reason I hate watching most porn is that these guys make movies all day and then can often be half hard and many times have small amounts of cum so much so that they often show several clips of the same cum shot several times in a row to make it look better.

 

[infinity706]

C) I'd rather have a partner who didn't focus on his cock size or hardness.

But given the choice between a fully functional and a dysfunctional cock, I'd rather have the former. Size is a non-issue, as long as it's not way too small to achieve penetration or so big that sex is painful (i.e. in the neighborhood of under 3" or over 8" and/or very thick).

Well, I'd have to say anything over 6.75 is bigger than ideal. Anything longer than that makes it hard for me to do wild anal without getting the anal equivilant of cervix slammed.

 

[GrnEyedGrl]

C) I'd rather have a partner who didn't focus on his cock size or hardness.

What she said. But if I were forced to answer, I'd rather have rock hard. To me, size doesn't matter as much as long as he knows how to use it

 

[newbiebabe]

What she said. But if I were forced to answer, I'd rather have rock hard. To me, size doesn't matter as much as long as he knows how to use it

Yep, what she said!

 

[mandoscot]

hard and still hard always works for me

 

[unregistered]

 

[ShortMaggie]

What can you do with a half hard dick besides bat at it like a cat? haha

I like big but you have to be a lot more knowledgeable about what you're doing. You don't want to hurt a girl.

Bigger isn't always better. Wider however... Yum!

 

[Cajon555]

What can you do with a half hard dick besides bat at it like a cat? haha

ROFLMAO!

No claws, please!

 

[MiaPassion]

I like when men don't talk about sizes, because it is not important for most of the women. Only for men maybe.

 

[dangerbee29]

Thanks

I like when men don't talk about sizes, because it is not important for most of the women. Only for men maybe.

I would like to thank you for the insight

 

[newideas]

I like when men don't talk about sizes, because it is not important for most of the women. Only for men maybe.

That's why's women just flatter us about our dicks. Its like us buying flowers or noticing new shoes or a hair cut.

We just find different things tmportant

 

[satindesire]

If more men would pay attention to the clitoris and how important it is for female sexual pleasure, questions like this wouldn't exist.

 

[infinity706]

I'm not quite so sure about that. Clits are only part of the picture. Sure, it's generally top priority for orgasms, but as far as general pleasure, it might even take a back seat to that little spot on the back of your neck that likes to be licked or whatever a particular woman's favorite spots are.

As for the dick, though, it's not all that important to me how big it is as long as it doesn't hurt or how hard it is. I actually prefer non penis objects for anal since they don't get overly wild and poke something the wrong way that often. Of course, that doesn't mean replacing guys, though. It's still better with a partner whether it's with a dick or not.

Now, as for blowjobs, hardness doesn't seem to make a ton of difference in a lot of cases since a soft cock still fits in a mouth just fine.

 

[satindesire]

I'm not quite so sure about that. Clits are only part of the picture. Sure, it's generally top priority for orgasms, but as far as general pleasure, it might even take a back seat to that little spot on the back of your neck that likes to be licked or whatever a particular woman's favorite spots are.

As for the dick, though, it's not all that important to me how big it is as long as it doesn't hurt or how hard it is. I actually prefer non penis objects for anal since they don't get overly wild and poke something the wrong way that often. Of course, that doesn't mean replacing guys, though. It's still better with a partner whether it's with a dick or not.

Now, as for blowjobs, hardness doesn't seem to make a ton of difference in a lot of cases since a soft cock still fits in a mouth just fine.

Yes, it's only part of the picture, but that's like saying the penis is only 'part of the picture'..that's OBVIOUS. Trying to make a man come without touching his penis is difficult-to-impossible, and too many men think a big penis is THE ONLY THING that matters to women's sexual pleasure.

I blame this on porn and female shyness.

Note the bolded part. Not enough men know this. Again, I blame this on porn and female shyness.

 

[hidden_self]

It's obvious, but it bears repeating over and over:

There are MANY factors that influence sexual pleasure. So many that any serious researcher would throw up their hands about the difficulty of isolating one factor from the other.

As far as cock size, I firmly (heh) believe...
1. Pleasure is related to how well a man and woman fit together. Just as men have different sizes, so do women. A man who is too big for me (ow ow ow) would be just right for my former girlfriend.

2. I, and I believe many other women, find that the thickness (aka diameter) of the cock is as important (or more important!) than length. If you're thick but not long, fear not. Women will enjoy you plenty.

3. I have never met a man who was so small he could not give me pleasure. I lived for a couple years with a guy who was small (relative to my pussy). He was dedicated and capable and introduced me to all kinds of sexual realms I had previously not encountered.

Later, I briefly dated another small (relative to my pussy) guy. (The briefness was due to him being a little crazy and kind of a jerk-- definitely not, not due to his size.) He didn't do much for me vaginally, but he gave me the best anal orgasms I've ever had. Totally hot.


Back to the original question of this post. I am in the process of leaving a seven-year, committed relationship in which erectile dysfunction was a major issue. So, I am extremely biased.

So, yeah. Clearly, I vote HARD all the way.

 

[infinity706]

Yes, it's only part of the picture, but that's like saying the penis is only 'part of the picture'..that's OBVIOUS. Trying to make a man come without touching his penis is difficult-to-impossible, and too many men think a big penis is THE ONLY THING that matters to women's sexual pleasure.

I blame this on porn and female shyness.

Note the bolded part. Not enough men know this. Again, I blame this on porn and female shyness.

I think part of the clit's problem is that it's just a little, hidden thing. It gets hard, but instead of sticking out it just sits there under its little hood. That's not really porn's fault, though. Pussies and clits just don't do anything obvious unless you get a woman so excited she squirts all over the place or you stuff a speculum in her and do an extreme closeup. Porn isn't a guide to sex. It's an action movie just as much as James Bond. It's supposed to be larger than life sex. At least a good amount of the movies show the actresses playing with themselves.

I'm not totally sure it's all female shyness, though. The clit doesn't really get much publicity and isn't even mentioned in sex ed classes. The only parts they even mention that you could possibly see or touch without dissecting her are the vagina and cervix.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Frankly, the clitoris is just a myth.

 

[satindesire]

I think part of the clit's problem is that it's just a little, hidden thing. It gets hard, but instead of sticking out it just sits there under its little hood. That's not really porn's fault, though. Pussies and clits just don't do anything obvious unless you get a woman so excited she squirts all over the place or you stuff a speculum in her and do an extreme closeup. Porn isn't a guide to sex. It's an action movie just as much as James Bond. It's supposed to be larger than life sex. At least a good amount of the movies show the actresses playing with themselves.

I disagree, too many young men take porn as a guide to what sex is supposed to be like. I know this for a very personal fact.

I'm not totally sure it's all female shyness, though. The clit doesn't really get much publicity and isn't even mentioned in sex ed classes. The only parts they even mention that you could possibly see or touch without dissecting her are the vagina and cervix.

That's exactly my point! It's not ever mentioned by ANYONE, it's like the word CLITORIS is the last taboo thing to talk about. Every single partner I've ever had, no matter how old I was or how old they were, I've had to teach them what and where the clitoris is, what it's for and how important it is. I've never had sex with a virgin. So this is information that needs to be passed on by women to their partners. Men can't read minds and they don't have female genitalia. It's up to US to teach them.

 

[newideas]

Anatomically the ckit is a penis and labia are scrotum. Take an embryology class. If the penis is not important to a male sexually then yes a clit is not important to woman.

Stated in terms of pleasure and does not fir a medieval or victorian view of sexm. Please excuse typos I am typing on a blackberry.

So CLEARLY a clit is important but we all know different strokes for different folks

 

[infinity706]

I disagree, too many young men take porn as a guide to what sex is supposed to be like. I know this for a very personal fact.



That's exactly my point! It's not ever mentioned by ANYONE, it's like the word CLITORIS is the last taboo thing to talk about. Every single partner I've ever had, no matter how old I was or how old they were, I've had to teach them what and where the clitoris is, what it's for and how important it is. I've never had sex with a virgin. So this is information that needs to be passed on by women to their partners. Men can't read minds and they don't have female genitalia. It's up to US to teach them.

I don't care how many guys take porn as a guide. It's still not the porn's fault in any way. The allowances on the public school sex program should take most of the blame. Afterall, unlike porn, they're falsely misleading parents into thinking that they're actually teaching sex. The entire program was a video each year, reviewing the internal processes that lead to reproduction with zero indication that there's even sex involved. The rest of the program was just scare videos on STDs. There was never any mention of birth control and zero mention of anything related to sex, or even sexual feelings. Any and all questions were strongly discouraged and questions about birth control were answered by stating that it was unethical to talk about. It can't even be blamed on the Puritans, though, because they strongly promoted the enjoyment of sex for both partners. It was just expected to only happen between married people.

As for clits, though, they'll probably continue to be ignored until they make it into pop culture more. They were mentioned on American Dad in an episode about women in Islamic countries and once in an episode of South Park where one of the characters visited this gigantic clit out in the forest.

 

[SweetErika]

I don't care how many guys take porn as a guide. It's still not the porn's fault in any way. The allowances on the public school sex program should take most of the blame. Afterall, unlike porn, they're falsely misleading parents into thinking that they're actually teaching sex. The entire program was a video each year, reviewing the internal processes that lead to reproduction with zero indication that there's even sex involved. The rest of the program was just scare videos on STDs. There was never any mention of birth control and zero mention of anything related to sex, or even sexual feelings. Any and all questions were strongly discouraged and questions about birth control were answered by stating that it was unethical to talk about. It can't even be blamed on the Puritans, though, because they strongly promoted the enjoyment of sex for both partners. It was just expected to only happen between married people.

Ultimately, parents are to blame for lack of good sex ed. Your crappy sex ed in school was the fault of the school board and parents in your community, since they're the ones who set the policy and dictate what's taught (or not).

I grew up in a relatively liberal area, and we received info on anatomy, birth control, STIs and alternatives to penetrative sex. Questions weren't discouraged. It wasn't good sex ed, or a substitute for being educated by parents, by any means, but it sounds like it was far more comprehensive than your school's program.

 

[Jeanx2storm]

I disagree, too many young men take porn as a guide to what sex is supposed to be like. I know this for a very personal fact.



That's exactly my point! It's not ever mentioned by ANYONE, it's like the word CLITORIS is the last taboo thing to talk about. Every single partner I've ever had, no matter how old I was or how old they were, I've had to teach them what and where the clitoris is, what it's for and how important it is. I've never had sex with a virgin. So this is information that needs to be passed on by women to their partners. Men can't read minds and they don't have female genitalia. It's up to US to teach them.

More important than whether my partner is fully hard or there is a big dick that is only half hard, is knowing all of my parts including the Clit and being willing to learn what turns me on.

 

[infinity706]

Ultimately, parents are to blame for lack of good sex ed. Your crappy sex ed in school was the fault of the school board and parents in your community, since they're the ones who set the policy and dictate what's taught (or not).

I grew up in a relatively liberal area, and we received info on anatomy, birth control, STIs and alternatives to penetrative sex. Questions weren't discouraged. It wasn't good sex ed, or a substitute for being educated by parents, by any means, but it sounds like it was far more comprehensive than your school's program.

Actually, it was all the county's one school nurse's fault. (yes, one nurse for the whole county) They just let her do whatever the hell she wanted with it and she's a fundamentalist that believes anyone that has sex outside of marriage is going to hell and birth control should be banned by law. Most of the parents just blindly assumed that she was going to do their job for them. Seriously, there's no chance that they would have chosen such a thing when 95% of the women in the student body got birth control pills at the age of 13. Their moms took them to the gynecologist that early to try and make absolutely sure their daughter had them before she started having sex. (not surprisingly we only had 1 pregnancy from the entire student body throughout my entire time in highschool)