Bi question

[Diamondbarrow]

So... I recently kinda figured out that I was bi. I'm have no problem with that, I don't feel bad or anything, and I don't really care who knows it. However, there is one thing I don't know about being bi.

How bad of stigma do bisexual people get in the everyday world?

I don't really get out much, and it's not exactly public knowledge that I'm bi, so I really don't experience any negative vibes about it. My uninformed view is that being bi gives you the best of both worlds; you get to love who you choose, and there isn't a stigma like being fully homosexual gets you.

How wrong am I? Have any of you who are bi experienced strong stigma about it?

 

[angelkitty7888]

Good luck to you!

My girlfriend is bi (i'm just bi-curious.... or is that straight-curious? lol) but she doesn't get much from anyone we know *shrug* in all honesty we recently figured out that most of the people we're friends with are some level of bi so it's pretty easy... it really depends on the type of people around you i guess.... well anyways! she's happy with her sexuality and hasn't had too much trouble from anyone.... i agree with you though less problems and more choice

 

[neonflux]

Find more ignorance than stigma from straight folks. Am queer identified though, and find much more stigma (or did maybe 10 years ago) from folks who identified as Gay or Lesbian - fence sitter, turncoat, claiming hetero privilege (even though lived with a woman for what amounted to 14 years), etc... Masqueraded as a lesbian for a long time and only came out to friends in the women's community slowly - very slowly. Now, I don't give a rat's ass...

 

[Etoile]

I agree with neonflux. Straight people either don't understand or don't really care. Gay people will give you more stigma for it, because it's seen as being a traitor if you date somebody of the opposite sex to yourself.

 

[bluebell]

Muah

Strangely enough, there does seem to be some...frigidity associated with those who find out that someone identifies with and practices bi-sexuality. In the conversations I've had about it, I've seen that it doesn't seem to be so much an open hostility (for the most part, and obviously there are exceptions to every rule, plus I haven't talked to every person on earth ) as it is a kind of irritation or indignation under the surface.

Irritation and indignation at what, I don't know. Maybe a lot of people are just too scared or ashamed to admit that it's possible to have feelings for someone of the same gender. Maybe it's an issue because they've wondered about it for themselves.
Not that I can't understand where that would come from if that was the true reason. I think religion and/or upbringing, too, can add volumes to the thought process if one comes to the conclusion that they might be bi or homosexual. But I don't think it's right for that to surface as scolding, condescension or incivility.

For some odd reason, my best friend (who is a gay male) doesn't think that bi-sexuals even exist. He thinks bi-sexuality is a myth for people who can't commit to one sexuality.
I tell him he's full of crap; except I use a different word
I'm not sure if he's indicative of a lot of people (or gay men), but he thinks he's completely right and almost gets heated when we discuss the mere possibility that people can be bi-sexual.
Maybe if it's so far-removed from one person's desires, they can't even allow the space for other people to feel that way.

Lord, you guys probably want to throw tomatoes at me: I won't shut up!

What I'm saying is, yeah, I think there's friction about bi-sexuality, but the bottom line is that you are the one you go to sleep with every night, no matter who's in the bed with you.
You are the one you have to live with, and if you can stand solidly on what you feel is true for you, then sod the rest of them.

 

[bronntanas]

me: So you've probably heard I like guys too.
straight friend: cool
me: you okay with that?
him: Yeah, it's cool. We're gonna be late. Get yer ass in gear dude.

me: So you've probably heard I like guys too.
gay friend: get out!
me: it's true.
him: look babe, I don't care what all the self help books say, when it comes to sex, you're either for us or against us! You can't be bisexual.
me: so it was nice knowing you.
him: what a fuckin waste of a good cock.


Basically, aside from a few hardcore homophobic straights, my straight friends have been more supportive than my gay ones. I didn't think I'd lose gay friends coming out. It seems so wierd. My parents had 17 cats, but my sibs didn't.

I do keep my sexuality on the back burner at work and stuff. It's not a part of my job, so it doesn't come up in the conversations. I've seen my boss at a few glbt functions, so I'm pretty sure that if it became an issue, she'd be cool.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

I agree with neonflux. Straight people either don't understand or don't really care. Gay people will give you more stigma for it, because it's seen as being a traitor if you date somebody of the opposite sex to yourself.

EXACTLY!!!!very well said

 

[dual_matrix]

Interesting thing I have learned from odd random discussions with friends, if you are a guy, you are either straight or gay, and if you are straight you are into freaky sex if you want a woman to use a strap on on you, as opposed to having another guy share your bed.

Mostly is seems no one cares unless you are male, then it seems like I read ealier in the thread, you are either gay or straight.