Bi Misunderstanding

[cherries_on_snow]

By Bi Misunderstanding, I mean that whenever I tell anyone that I'm bisexual, some little babblefish in his/her ear translates that to:

"I'm indescriminately promiscuous and want to do you now!"

Why is that?

Anyone else get that?

(I'm only promiscuous online. Is that so wrong?)

 

[The_Sexton]

I'm only promiscuous online. Is that so wrong?

This should have been one of the choices...

Sx

 

[sunandshadow]

I also hate how some people translate "I'm bi" into "I'm gay but don't want to admit it."

 

[Wolfman1982]

I also hate how some people translate "I'm bi" into "I'm gay but don't want to admit it."

I know at least three people, who thinks that way. And it is a bit annoying.

 

[Ozfamilyman]

I also hate how some people translate "I'm bi" into "I'm gay but don't want to admit it."

Or us men translate it as '' oh so you want a 3some with my wife and I , now? , ok lets go''

 

[bimori]

By Bi Misunderstanding, I mean that whenever I tell anyone that I'm bisexual, some little babblefish in his/her ear translates that to:

"I'm indescriminately promiscuous and want to do you now!"

Why is that?

Anyone else get that?

(I'm only promiscuous online. Is that so wrong?)

I'm with you on this one .

 

[ezervet]

I also hate how some people translate "I'm bi" into "I'm gay but don't want to admit it."

Its funny, I used to think in these terms, before i really analyzed my emotions. I assumed that because i was feeling all these emotions and whatnot for men, i was one hundred percent gay, which only frustrated me into trying to shut it down. (It didn't work, lol.) So don't be too hard on the unenlightened, i guess is what the message is.

 

[Xectxny19X]

I also hate how some people translate "I'm bi" into "I'm gay but don't want to admit it."

I couldn't agree more!

Some people have thought of "I'm bi" as "oh, so you're just going through an experimental phase."

 

[elizabeth22673]

in real life, only my hubbie knows....so haven't had that experience.
must be annoying tho!

 

[cherries_on_snow]

What inspired me to post this thread was that I was at a friend's house (a very good friend) having a glass of wine with his girlfriend, whom I had just met. He was still at work and she was bored and invited me over. We have a lovely time chatting (her kid in the livingroom, so careful not to say anything little pitchers might not need to hear). All is going very well, until she tells me that she will probably have a few lesbians at her wedding and she thought she should warn me. (her wedding to my friend, presumably.) I tell her that I'm bi and no worries, that I feel more at home among people of all sexual orientations (and gender orientations, for that matter). Less than one minute elapses before she puts her arms around me and says "let's try a little sex."

GAH!

She's my good friend's girlfriend! AND even WORSE, she works in the regional office for the same place I work. I very gently turn her down, but it was awkward and awful, and (sadly enough) not the first time this sort of thing has happened to me. It seems about 1/3 of the time when I come out, it results in people shielding their children from me (as though bi is synonymous with child molestor) or coming on to me indelicately (as if bi is synonymous with sex addict). *sigh* It is really starting to annoy me so I am relieved to hear that other people have had bi misunderstandings too.

Cheers!

 

[Xectxny19X]

omg...sorry you had to go through something like that! ouch!

 

[Noor]

By Bi Misunderstanding, I mean that whenever I tell anyone that I'm bisexual, some little babblefish in his/her ear translates that to:

"I'm indescriminately promiscuous and want to do you now!"

Why is that?

Anyone else get that?

(I'm only promiscuous online. Is that so wrong?)

Funny that happens when I tell people I am not monogamous too! I am never promiscuous.

There is also an assumption that if you are bi, you always need to be having sex with both sexes.

 

[ezervet]

cherries_on_snow

Ugh, that sounds like a ridiculously weird position to be in.

 

[cherries_on_snow]

It was kind of odd, to be sure. Even worse, she later told my friend that I had come on to her (expecting, no doubt, that since I am the bi one, he'd believe her). The funny thing is though, I am incapable of lying. I seem to be unable to do that convincingly under any circumstance, practically, AND my friend knows that, so he knew better than to believe her. Which I'm glad of. I'd hate to have a 4-year platonic friendship flushed down the drain because of one failed pass on the part of his GF.

Anyway, I just wanted to know if other people had that too. Oh yeah, the "phase" thing I got a lot too. My stepmom believed it was a phase until it lasted into my 30s. hehe.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Happened to me a couple of times
The last time it happened was fun though I laughed with the ignorance of my friend
Actually I created a thread on it, but I wouldn't have if I'd seen yours

He asked me if the fact that I'm bi meant that I wanted to go down on him and thought that it'd be ok to do a threesome with me now. Come on people!
If we had sex with whoever we come out to at least half the world would be bi/gay/lesbians

 

[lord_bob]

yeah, thats happened to me a few times

 

[Adakgirl]

I am not sure if I am Bi or not..haven't had the opportunity to have a woman all alone..only when a man was there and then the focus has been on the man and the female not interacting with me hardly at all.Used to turn me off thinking that getting turned on by women and their bodies made me gay.But now I understand that this is not the case at all and I sure would enjoy giving sex with only a woman a try..I have a feeling I would be good at it.

 

[InnerKitty]

Well, my take would be that it is simply that they figure you haven't made up your mind and that it makes you easy. I disagree, but anything outside of the judeochristian midset on sexuality usually makes others think of promiscuity. How exactly, they might reason, do you stay with one person when you want 2 differing sexes? ?? Alternate lifestyles, it doesn't mean in my book that you are disloyal, but to others a relationship with 3 people is.
I have a few friends with such a relationship and they all seem happy and content. They flirt, but don't cross the line of promiscuity. And I have to admit that when I found out about them, I was drawn to them in a sexual manner, but because I wanted to try such a thing, a fantasy if you like. But I do that with men too. I am going on my 14th married year with a wonderful man. And I refuse to do anything to destroy that, but he and I both know I have a bi streak. Which makes me seek out women.. so now am I promiscuous? or just flirty? I don't know it is something I have to work out for myslef.

But let me get back to your question. Being a Bi is one of those things that are labeled "wrong" therefore you must like to do bad things. So naturally
they assume you are coming on to them by stating such. But that is just what I think! lol!

-Innerkitty

 

[cherries_on_snow]

I want to thank people for the sincere replies to this thread. It's great to hear not only what may be going on for folks that have had this happen but, also, what might be happening for people to whom I am coming out. Perhaps they are attracted to the sexual idea and i become, in that moment, representative of the idea? Maybe it also has to do with the fact that there is too little sexual communication (honest communication; not porno) in our society.

I love hearing everyone's views and experiences. Thank you so much. I look forward to seeing what else people have to say. =D

 

[chun_gong]

I hope by being honest I don't get slammed against the wall. Realize that I have opened my mind considerably in the last 10-15 years...

When I first identified as a lesbian (having previously dated guys), people assumed I was bi. It used to 'run all over me' because I did not want people to thing that I was just some horny chick. How one gets from bi to more horny than usual, I have no clue. It was stupid on my part. Besides, who was anyone to tell me about ME?

Thinking hard, looking back, and being as honest as possible (this is hard), I remember seeing a totally butch chick who identified as bi but preferred men. Now, the "super-powers" I possessed at the time told me that there was no way this chick was into guys at all...I mean look at her. *shakes head in shame* What the problem was: ME, I was closed minded and just didn't get it. I was stereotyping on the basis of appearance.

Well, now I do get it, thank goodness. And, well, this life sworn femme lesbian who nobody believed could possibly be gay here before you (see all of the black/white stereo-typing going on here?) has realized that she's not 100% dyke after all. I think that threw me for more of a loop than acknowledging being gay. I just love people for who they are. Who cares what is 'down below'...so it's not really about sex afterall.

The reason it wigged me out: It's hard as hell to be bi....rather to be out as bi. How do I know? I was one of those assholes who made it hard. You know those dykes out there who are suspicious of bi's...or the het's who think bi's are over-sexed? Yeah, I do too. They say "Paybacks are a bitch!" But, I'm glad that I woke up sooner than later.

 

[Meat Whistler]

I loathe the "trendy" and "phase" comments about bisexuality. It is very annoying.

 

[John Doe]

I haven't had that particular misunderstanding yet, but many of the reactions I get are something like the person saying I'm just gay and kidding myself or I'm really straight and I'm trying to be trendy or "edgy". WTF does edgy mean? How is bisexuality edgy?

Although the reactions I really like are when I tell someone and it turns them on.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

I haven't had that particular misunderstanding yet, but many of the reactions I get are something like the person saying I'm just gay and kidding myself or I'm really straight and I'm trying to be trendy or "edgy". WTF does edgy mean? How is bisexuality edgy?

Although the reactions I really like are when I tell someone and it turns them on.

Wow, I'd definately want that kind of reaction

 

[chun_gong]

Now, I've fessed up to my judgemental & misguided past... when I think about the gal that I figured could never be with men (because of her appearance *blushing*) - I never thought "Oh, she's really gay, she's just fooling herself. I don't know exactly what I was thinking, but I've been honest enough on here to not start lying now...

I think I was really just shocked that she felt soooo comfortable being herself - looking like one extreme of the "gay - bi - str8" continuum - but identified differently than her appearance would indicate. (yes, judging a book by its' cover) I never thought she was 'fooling herself'...

Just trying to be honest with what my thoughts were then. Glad I'm not like that now, or I'd have a really damned hard time accepting myself!

 

[Wolfman1982]

chun_gong: you have just become a member of the lit cool gang

Since I am really enjoying your posts, because of your awesome comments, and I have read your forum replies (at least here in GLBT), and I think you are great