Bi married Guys, does she know?

[Carling228]

Hi

Just like to ask bi married guys, and guys in a relationship, does your other half know about your bi sexual side and if she does how did she find out and if she doesn't know what is stopping you telling her.

My wife doesn't know I'm bi for the reason that she wouldn't accept it and I would become divorced very quickly.


Thanks

 

[carla.l.mi]

Hi

Just like to ask bi married guys, and guys in a relationship, does your other half know about your bi sexual side and if she does how did she find out and if she doesn't know what is stopping you telling her.

My wife doesn't know I'm bi for the reason that she wouldn't accept it and I would become divorced very quickly.


Thanks

My wife doesn't know either and also would not accept it. Divorce would also follow.

 

[CmdrSymax]

I'm in a pretty unique position. I was actually dating men and she knew it when my wife and I began going out. We're both very liberal (we met at a Unitarian church). I've put my bi interests on hold for most of our marriage (more than 15 years) and only recently has she discovered her own bi side. Now we're interested in swinging with bi-couples and individuals.

Like I said...pretty unique.

 

[dakotagirl]

Hi

Just like to ask bi married guys, and guys in a relationship, does your other half know about your bi sexual side and if she does how did she find out and if she doesn't know what is stopping you telling her.

My wife doesn't know I'm bi for the reason that she wouldn't accept it and I would become divorced very quickly.


Thanks

I know. In fact I knew before he ever came out and admitted it. I dont really understand why a spouse can go from loving you and wanting to spend the rest of their life with you to dumping you to the curb.

 

[Anthem_of_life]

she knows

My wife knows that I'm bi-curious, i've never actually been with another man but i've been eager to try. She has been very accepting being bi herself and she's actually used her strap-on on me and it was a very incredable experience.

 

[yorksguy]

Like most my GF would freak out if she found out, but i have this thing about guys so......

 

[ilike2try]

This is the most difficult aspect of having those bi desires.

I decided to indulge my urges nine years ago, when I had nothing really going on the hetero relationship front. Had been going through a pretty extended dry spell, and figured, "What the hell? Let's finally make these other fantasies come true." Did, it, too, for a couple of years, even as the hetero "famine" drew to an end, and I started meeting meeting women again... and ultimately, the one who became my wife.

As much as I enjoy the man-woman sexual relationship (and I'd say I'm at least 80 percent oriented toward the opposite sex), I also mightily enjoyed my period of experimentation with other men. So much so that I cannot eliminate those pleasures from my mind and from my fantasies. And I want so badly to do something about them.

But, no, my spouse has no clue I feel this way, and I think it would freak her out if she did. I am also absolutely crazy about her, and we have an awesome relationship, sexually and otherwise. The idea of going outside our marriage to indulge my bi urges is one I have been doing much soul-searching over. And actually knowing a guy who is more than willing to explore with me makes things all the more, mmm, complicated, because at some point soon, he and I need to go for it, or lose the opportunity.

*Sigh*

 

[alaskabibear]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My wife and I have been very open about our past since we first got married (many, many years ago!). She knows that I had homosexual experiences before I met her and she has always been aroused by that. So yes, she knows and enjoys my bisexuality.

I can only imagine how difficult it is to have to hide such a vital and important part of ones personality from the person you are closest to. I always suggest that guys try to get this out in the open if at all possible. If you're married to a real prude I suppose that is difficult or impossible. But, if she is sexually curious and open to things like adult movies and other erotica (e.g.Literotica stories), then that is a great way to open the way to a conversation about the many expressions of human sexuality (including bisexuality). One never knows what secrets the wife is also hiding - you may be pleasantly surprised to find you have a real wildcat on your hands!

 

[justdoingit]

My wife has found that i have gone on gay.com and stuff like that and my dad was a closet crossdresser. that she knows about. So she has no idea that i have fullfilled my urges and she would leave immediatley which is funny because i know she has kissed girls before. And right now there is a girl that wants to hook up with her that she talks about. It is funny because how liberal she is she would leave me for it. I dont know if she thinks im curious and couldnt go through with it or that i was just drunk and horney one night. So i guess the short answer is no she doesnt know that i have gone through with it.

 

[PutterBoy]

Not a chance my wife would ever accept it. As she's grown older, she's come to think of sex as a necessary evil that keeps me "happy" once every couple of weeks or so. Those rare occasions with her still make me very happy because I'm able to please her with my mouth and cock, but she simply can't understand why I'm still horny all the time and and she's not. For lack of a better term, let's call it a "desire gap."

So, I decided to explore the "dark side" about five years ago -- probably because sex with another man didn't seem like cheating in some bizarre sense. But, more importantly, I've found it to be extremely fulfulling and a lot of fun. Frankly, guys generally know how to make other guys feel good. That's probably very true for women as well, but I only know what I've experienced.

Do I feel guilty for hiding this side of me from my wife? Yes. Will I continue to do it now that I discovered how much I enjoy it? Absolutely.

Curiously, although it would be instant divorce if she caught me with another woman, I think catching me with another man would damage our relationship but not end it. Go figure.

 

[tonethebone]

My wife may suspect I'm curious. She found a gay lit story in my robe pocket a while back. When she asked me about it I just told her I was "curious". She has no idea I have a suck buddy that I see a few times a year.

If she found me out, she would never leave me. We truly love each other to death. But I could see her saying "You need to see a shrink !"

 

[versatile1]

I told most of the girls that I dated that I was bi-curious and I don't recall any having issues with it--but that was at a University setting.

I told the girlfriend that became my wife too. We actually did have a mmf 3 some once before we got married. I think she'd be open again with the right party--but her criteria make it unlikely.

I think she rather I not be bi, but she married me anyhow.

I am pretty frustrated in that I have these feelings with little to no opportunity to act on them. I won't cheat on her though. Having tried it makes it even tougher because I enjoyed it so much!

 

[Pleasure42]

Wow!

You guys pretty much summed it up for me. I have been Bi all my life but my wife doesn't know. I think she would give me the boot, well she would if she were the one with the money

But yeah, I would love to try it again. I'm 51 and it's been since I was 19 or 20. I don't think I would want anyone cumming in my mouth but would definitely love to be seduced slowly and fucked gently...I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

Pleasure42

 

[cadman7777]

You guys pretty much summed it up for me. I have been Bi all my life but my wife doesn't know. I think she would give me the boot, well she would if she were the one with the money

But yeah, I would love to try it again. I'm 51 and it's been since I was 19 or 20. I don't think I would want anyone cumming in my mouth but would definitely love to be seduced slowly and fucked gently...I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

Pleasure42

and I think I would be the opposite...take someone in my mouth...with a woman's urging of course....but not up the ass...I don't care who's urging

 

[xperthands]

My wife knows that I am curious. She knows about my period of doing a lot of sucking before we met. She also knows that I am not romantically attracted to men, and she knows that no woman can give me what a man can (and I am not talking about the cock, rather the attitude). I have only had one sexual encounter with a man since we married and she was not very accepting, but we got through it. She was more worried about disease than any infidelity.

On what a man can give that a woman can't: we approach sex so differently. I know that when I start sucking a guy, he will be coming. He will do what it takes to come. A little pain or a startle will not distract him; he is on a mission and I am just there to help him get there. That is what I love about man on man sex. That is why I want to try anal as a bottom, I love that animal passion. Women's passion is great, but it is different, even when she is using a strapon.

 

[Carling228]

If I thought my wife would accept me being bi then I would tell her and it could lead to exploring different things with her but I know she would flip so it's a case of being secretive on the occassions a I do meet up with guys.

 

[Hitchiker69]

My wife suspects, but doesn't know what I was up to years ago, when I lived in Sydney. Gays were all around, and available there. My bi experiences were always random, spontaneous and anonymous. I never saw the guy again after the sex was over.

She might be accepting, but the situation is so different now. I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone else's business. I could never have an anonymous one night stand here.

p.s. Carling228, I have read several of your stories. They are so hot!

 

[bithebi2000]

I've given some hints, but cited ulterior motives. I'm not ready to ask her if I can suck cock, I'm trying to lead her down a path of asking/begging me if I will suck cock. I had purchased a handful of vids with one of them being bi. She seemed pretty turned on by that. Then, while eating her out, I'll pull the vibrator out and give it a nice blowjob. That worked pretty well too. She now wants to take that vibrator and plug it up my ass, but frankly I'm not into that right now.

I've been bi-curious for a few years now. Maybe in a few more, I'll have gotten her to my line of thinking. It may take longer. Sometimes I get negative reactions when I do these things. One time, to see how she might react to me getting a mouthful of cum, I jerked off into my palm, then starting playing with it with my tongue. She kind of got grossed out by that. Ugh!!!

She doesn't know that I spend hours here after I tuck her in at night. Any other helpful hints out there?

 

[alaskabibear]

I've given some hints, but cited ulterior motives. I'm not ready to ask her if I can suck cock, I'm trying to lead her down a path of asking/begging me if I will suck cock. I had purchased a handful of vids with one of them being bi. She seemed pretty turned on by that. Then, while eating her out, I'll pull the vibrator out and give it a nice blowjob. That worked pretty well too. She now wants to take that vibrator and plug it up my ass, but frankly I'm not into that right now.

I've been bi-curious for a few years now. Maybe in a few more, I'll have gotten her to my line of thinking. It may take longer. Sometimes I get negative reactions when I do these things. One time, to see how she might react to me getting a mouthful of cum, I jerked off into my palm, then starting playing with it with my tongue. She kind of got grossed out by that. Ugh!!!

She doesn't know that I spend hours here after I tuck her in at night. Any other helpful hints out there?

Sounds like your best next move is to practice a bit with that vibe she wants to use on you. When you find you actually like it and can take it with ease, give her a go at it and see how turned on she gets. Then you can surprise her with her very own strap-on. (I know, I know. But, you must sacrifice if you want to reach your goal.)

 

[infinity706]

So, what do you mean sacrifice? Getting nailed in the ass by a chick with a strapon doesn't sound like a sacrifice to me.

 

[alaskabibear]

So, what do you mean sacrifice? Getting nailed in the ass by a chick with a strapon doesn't sound like a sacrifice to me.

Nor to me, but 'bithebi2000' said he was not quite ready for that - but, IMO he must "sacrifice" in order to obtain his goal - don't you think? (in this case I predict that his "sacrifice" will turn out to be less of a "sacrifice" than he fears - provided he proceed with care and plenty of lube!)

 

[bithebi2000]

Sounds like your best next move is to practice a bit with that vibe she wants to use on you. When you find you actually like it and can take it with ease, give her a go at it and see how turned on she gets. Then you can surprise her with her very own strap-on. (I know, I know. But, you must sacrifice if you want to reach your goal.)

You might be right. From what I've seen on here and other places, the joy of anal is about the prostrate, right? If so, I don't think I need a big fat vibrator up there to get the benefit. Next time she and I talk about anal, I'll play along, but let her do some shopping for a probe, rather than shoving that huge thing back there. I think this may allow us to converge on things we both want. Who knows, maybe after a little probe, I'll graduate to the strapon.

 

[infinity706]

You can get an adjustable strapon and use some probes with flared bases with it.

 

[limplizzard]

My wife and I were talking one evening when I told her that I would like to eat her pussy after another guy fucked her. She took this in stride but said if I wanted to taste another mans speram I should get it from the source. I did and now I enjoy sucking a cock as much as eating a pussy, and it is a lot easier to find a guy who wants his cock sucked.

 

[alaskabibear]

You might be right. From what I've seen on here and other places, the joy of anal is about the prostrate, right? If so, I don't think I need a big fat vibrator up there to get the benefit. Next time she and I talk about anal, I'll play along, but let her do some shopping for a probe, rather than shoving that huge thing back there. I think this may allow us to converge on things we both want. Who knows, maybe after a little probe, I'll graduate to the strapon.

Thats the usual progression. I think you'll enjoy it if you don't try to over do on the size at first and use a lot of good lube. I hope she will be like my own wife - the first time she mounted me she came within a couple of minutes! Good luck!

(you might also wish to do a search over on the How To forum in the Sticky Manual about learning to do anal - regarding proper equipment, lube, cleanliness and such)