Bi Guys at Gay Bars

[mac_crazy]

Ok, gay friends... what's your take on bi-guys at gay bars? I'm bi, and have been to several gay bars, and been hit on each time. It was mostly harmless flirting, so none of the guys even knew I was bi, as opposed to gay. I think it'd be hot going home with a guy and playing around... but I've heard differing opinions on this situation. For instance, "A good BJ is a good BJ, whether you get it from a guy who's bi or gay." Or... "Bi guys can't decide who they are, so don't bother me, poser."

As with everything, I know there's no single answer; I'm just curious to hear from the Lit crowd.

 

[bobbyinhouston]

Hello

I often go to a gay bar here in Houston called George's. I think it is a great bar, mostly a sports bar with lots televisions to watch sports and a computer juke box for a variety of music.Awesome bartenders that know how to keep the customers happy.

Sad thing though I have never been hit upon when I go, and I let everyone know I am Bi. Did i mention it is a Cowboy bar? Maybe I'm too old and ugly.

 

[jackstud]

When hit on I feel flattered

 

[mac_crazy]

Same here, I enjoy getting hit on by girls or guys.

More curious as to whether gays would be less apt to hit on a guy if they knew he was bi, or if it wouldn't matter.

 

[donutLover]

i can't see how it would matter - surely just being the in gay bar would be enough to show you know what you're after?

 

[Chrissi]

Unless you're wearing a sign or something, what difference does it make.
We get straight couples/guys, bi couples/guys, curious, whatever, in gay bars all the time.

The way I feel about it: unless you're an asshole, all are welcome.

Flirting is fun, so flirt away. Just be aware, that flirting in a gay bar may also include touching, and perhaps an occasional grope or more, but only if your flirtee shows he is open to it.

I love to flirt. Just, as I said, don't be an ass about it. If a guy doesn't do it for you, a polite but firm no thanks, not my preference should be sufficient.

 

[Chrissi]

If you're thinking about more and actually hooking up, then really, how the heck would you even know if the guy you are with is/isn't bi? Unless you say something.

I know I've been with bi guys, I'm sure I've been with guys who I had no idea about. I just really don't want to talk about their other side. Kind of a mood killer for me.

I like Fritz's in Boston. It's a sports bar, and while mainly gay, it gets a pretty good mix of folks at times. Lots of bi guys there all the time, I'm sure.

The MB, in Worcester is the complete opposite. It's a 110% straight up gay bar, and even on regular quiet nights, there is no doubt about that. It's not a club, but they host themed events at times, but it's all men. Although it is very friendly, I've seen single guys come in, and promptly leave after a few minutes of looking figity

My favorite though is a nice restaurant/bar right around the corner in my home city. It's just a regular place that our local gay community has somewhat adopted.
So on many nights it may be fairly mixed. If you're looking for a guy: np; if you're looking for a girl, maybe not so much luck, but I guess possible.
But it's a fun, lively, interactive crowd.

 

[reachedme]

I am not sure what the problem is
you are a man in a gay bar, lets be honest a man is what you are there for

 

[mac_crazy]

I am not sure what the problem is
you are a man in a gay bar, lets be honest a man is what you are there for

Maybe I phrased my original post wrong. There IS no problem, especially for me. I'm the one who's bi, so I have no problem being in a bar, no matter what type it is, gay or otherwise.


However, I have heard from some gay people (wouldn't say they are "friends" but closer than acquaintances), who don't know I'm bi, and their opinion was that they didn't necessarily care for bi guys hanging out at the gay bar they frequent, because, to paraphrase, "they're not REALLY gay, so they should figure out what they really want".

I understand that's not exactly the most open-minded of views, but since I don't know a ton of gay people, I thought I'd put it out there to get other opinions.

The other part of the reason I'm asking, more on a personal level... To Topher's point: If I did want to hook up with a guy, I wouldn't want to make out... I'd really just want to give him a BJ, and not much else. I'm curious if that would bring up the question of "are you really gay, or just bi, or what?"... unless I just came right out and said "I just want to blow you."

Just thinking out loud, and wondering what others' experiences are.

 

[bluesky496]

Ok, gay friends... what's your take on bi-guys at gay bars? I'm bi, and have been to several gay bars, and been hit on each time. It was mostly harmless flirting, so none of the guys even knew I was bi, as opposed to gay. I think it'd be hot going home with a guy and playing around... but I've heard differing opinions on this situation. For instance, "A good BJ is a good BJ, whether you get it from a guy who's bi or gay." Or... "Bi guys can't decide who they are, so don't bother me, poser."

As with everything, I know there's no single answer; I'm just curious to hear from the Lit crowd.

just be honest and let the guy decide for himself if he wants to take you home.

 

[Chrissi]

The other part of the reason I'm asking, more on a personal level... To Topher's point: If I did want to hook up with a guy, I wouldn't want to make out... I'd really just want to give him a BJ, and not much else. I'm curious if that would bring up the question of "are you really gay, or just bi, or what?"... unless I just came right out and said "I just want to blow you."

Ok, well that's a different thing.
Definitely if you are looking for a hookup but only want to do a specific thing...you have to, as you say, be upfront about it.

Generally guys who are hooking up at a gay bar are spending the night. And about the only discussion is going to be testing status, then top, bottom or versatile - the rest is presumed.

Speaking for myself, if you told me that all you wanted to do was blow me, then I would politely decline and move on to flirting with another guy, while being a little bummed that the nice sexy guy (you) I was flirting with wasn't gay

Hope that clears it up a bit more.

 

[mac_crazy]

Yep, appreciate your input, Topher! I kinda figured that would be the general response, as far as being bummed that I'm not gay. But, being up front about it is definitely the way I'd handle it, regardless.

 

[dougsan]

I'm BI. Never had a problem with a gay guy when I told him I wasn't into anal to me but everything else was fine and that I will not be spending the whole night. Sure some guys said pass but what do you expect, every guy to be thrilled with you? I don't. I want partial nights rather than full. That doesn't make me a cop! (Cops were a big problem back in the day because "we were decadent, sinful and corrupting.") Some aspects of life really sucked -- no pun intended -- in the 50s through the 70s.

 

[jackstud]

Ok, well that's a different thing.
Definitely if you are looking for a hookup but only want to do a specific thing...you have to, as you say, be upfront about it.

Generally guys who are hooking up at a gay bar are spending the night. And about the only discussion is going to be testing status, then top, bottom or versatile - the rest is presumed.

Speaking for myself, if you told me that all you wanted to do was blow me, then I would politely decline and move on to flirting with another guy, while being a little bummed that the nice sexy guy (you) I was flirting with wasn't gay

Hope that clears it up a bit more.

Spending the night would be the appropreate behavior