Bi Guy and his female friend.

[Samuelx]

This year, I had an unusual relationship with a girl named Stacy. She's a hot, sexy black girl I met at school last year. Last year, she was dating a guy named T. and I was still struggling to accept myself as a bisexual black man. This year, I got more comfortable with myself. Stacy and I were casually hanging out with friends. She asked me if I was bi and I said yes. She was cool with it.


Since I've told her, I've had a few relationships. Let's see. There was Wendy. Nice-looking but crazy girl. Bad apple. There was also Marlon, a nice-looking confident and stylish gay man. He was very cool. He liked me a lot. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. Lately, I've been thinking about Stacy. She's a hot girl. She knows that I'm bi and doesn't care. Also, she is very playful and we're comfortable with each other. We even wrestle, lol. Once, while wrestling, she was on top of me and I got turned on. I felt uncomfortable and put a stop to it. She could tell that she made me hard. I felt uncomfortable around her afterwards, for a little
while anyway. I hardly see her anymore but we will run into each other
sooner or later.



Should I go for it ?

 

[QueryGirl]

Samuelx:

Why were you uncomfortable when you got turned on? Was it because you and Stacy are such close friends?

I really wish I had some solid words of wisdom for you, but I don't. In fact, I'm in a similar position, myself -- albeit at a slightly advanced stage. My best friend and I have been in a relationship for about three months now. He's a gay male, and I'm a bi female. (To say we're sleeping together doesn't do the relationship justice; to say we're good friends doesn't, either.) I've never in my life had more fun, mostly because he's my best friend and I can say and do anything around him. I adore him more than anything else on this earth. The only caution I would add is that I do tend to get jealous -- of old loves and of eye candy he knows. All that craziness, though, is in direct correlation to how validated I'm feeling at any given moment (and thus has absolutely nothing to do with him). Usually, I can just ask for a hug and all the world is right as rain again.

Okay, so that does bring up some words of wisdom, actually: TALK TALK TALK

Talk to her about what you're feeling, about what you'd like to have happen (casual sex, a more loving and nurturing relationship, whathaveyou). I think you'll know if there's anything there worth pursuing. Talk some more. Be up front with her about how you felt when you got turned on wrestling with her. Email, text message, lay out whatever parameters you both would need.

This might sound like it would take all of the spontaneity and fun out of the first few moments when you actually do get together, but believe me -- it only heightens the anticipation.

Good luck. I hope you find what you're seeking, whether it be with Stacy or with another.

best,
QG

 

[Samuelx]

Thanks, Q. You seem like a smart and understanding person. I wish you good luck in life.