Bi Female- the new norm?

[RachelWalsh]

It seems the older I get, the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women, hooking up with female friends, or getting off to women in porn. Is this becoming the norm? I am curious to hear from other females what they think.

 

[RandyRebecca]

I'm a bisexual woman, but we are very much a minority. The official LGBT figures in the US are usually somewhere from 2.5 to 9 percent depending on the state and county. If everyone was out of closet it would probably be around the 10 percent area. Straight people are still the overwhelming majority. Even in the most urban big city and college/university areas, straight people will be above 80%.

I saw the recent British census results. 3.16% said that they were a non-straight sexuality, while around 7.5% didn't answer the question. That makes the straight population over there 89.4%.

 

[RachelWalsh]

I'm a bisexual woman, but we are very much a minority. The official LGBT figures in the US are usually somewhere from 2.5 to 9 percent depending on the state and county. If everyone was out of closet it would probably be around the 10 percent area. Straight people are still the overwhelming majority. Even in the most urban big city and college/university areas, straight people will be above 80%.

I saw the recent British census results. 3.16% said that they were a non-straight sexuality, while around 7.5% didn't answer the question. That makes the straight population over there 89.4%.

Wow, that is crazy to think, but you bring data to back up your point.

To me, it seems being bi female is ever more accepted and trendy.

 

[Escierto]

Wow, that is crazy to think, but you bring data to back up your point.

To me, it seems being bi female is ever more accepted and trendy.

I think there is definitely more visibility and some celebrities have announced that they are bi without ever having had any actual bisexual experiences. I don’t see a lot of male celebrities announcing that they are bi however.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm bi. I have a theory that most, not all, people on this planet are either bi curious, or have had bisexual encounters in their life by choice.
I'm very social online, where people tend to feel free to discuss their deep fantasies with me.
I'm very open minded, so many people have confided in me that they are bi.
It may becoming more accepting, but it's not new. At least in my experience.

 

[RandyRebecca]

Wow, that is crazy to think, but you bring data to back up your point.

To me, it seems being bi female is ever more accepted and trendy.

It will be higher in certain areas. It will higher in the cities than in the suburbs, and it will be much rarer than in the suburbs the further away you get from a city (especially a big city) or the further away you get from a college/university area. Bisexuality seems to be at its highest in the college/university areas. Homosexuality more in the big cities.

I think there is definitely more visibility and some celebrities have announced that they are bi without ever having had any actual bisexual experiences. I don’t see a lot of male celebrities announcing that they are bi however.

You don't have to have experiences with other people to be of a sexual orientation. It's about attraction and mindset, and what things turn you on in your own mind and body.

I'm bi. I have a theory that most, not all, people on this planet are either bi curious, or have had bisexual encounters in their life by choice.
I'm very social online, where people tend to feel free to discuss their deep fantasies with me.
I'm very open minded, so many people have confided in me that they are bi.
It may becoming more accepting, but it's not new. At least in my experience.

I think we can say for certain that there are a lot more bisexuals in the closet than there are homosexuals in the closet. As bisexuals are attracted to the opposite gender like heterosexuals, it's easy to seem "straight" to the outside world. Gays and lesbians don't get that choice and would have to live a lie to stay in the closet. That would only be a problem for a closeted bisexual person if they fell deeply in love with a person of the same gender.

 

[Escierto]

You don't have to have experiences with other people to be of a sexual orientation. It's about attraction and mindset, and what things turn you on in your own mind and body.

That is certainly true. A person could be a virgin but quite certain about their sexual orientation. Let’s just say that there is a certain amount of skepticism about some of these celebrity “confessions” which may or may not be justified. For some people it’s not enough to be a LGBTQIA ally - they want to be members of the club.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

There comes a time when, even having only had "straight" sex for most of your life (to the age of 66 in my case), you think, "There may not be long left and I've never experienced X or Y. In a nutshell, that's why I started sucking cock.

 

[RachelWalsh]

There comes a time when, even having only had "straight" sex for most of your life (to the age of 66 in my case), you think, "There may not be long left and I've never experienced X or Y. In a nutshell, that's why I started sucking cock.

Was it a good decision for you?

 

[Tayloroc]

It will be higher in certain areas. Where I live, it will higher in Rochester than in the suburbs, and it will be much rarer than in the suburbs the further away you get from a city (especially a big city) or the further away you get from a college/university area. Bisexuality seems to be at its highest in the college/university areas. Homosexuality more in the big cities.


You don't have to have experiences with other people to be of a sexual orientation. It's about attraction and mindset, and what things turn you on in your own mind and body.


I think we can say for certain that there are a lot more bisexuals in the closet than there are homosexuals in the closet. As bisexuals are attracted to the opposite gender like heterosexuals, it's easy to seem "straight" to the outside world. Gays and lesbians don't get that choice and would have to live a lie to stay in the closet. That would only be a problem for a closeted bisexual person if they fell deeply in love with a person of the same gender.

You raised a brilliant point. Being bi gives one a lot of cover!

 

[RachelWalsh]

Yeah, it seems like bi girls are losing shock value. Now they have to do insane things to get attention, like letting hair grow on their pussies. Lol.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

Was it a good decision for you?

I'd say "Yes", inasmuch as I no longer wonder what it would be like. I know.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Im a hetero black woman BUT homo porn turns me on. Im attracted to and only date men. But sexually I fantasize about tribbing a pussy and sucking big dark aerolas

Mmmmm. That is sexy ma'am

 

[RandyRebecca]

I think that these numbers will increase markedly within a generation.
But there's also lots of question as to the definition.
Are you bi if you have had sex with another woman?
Are you bi if you are attracted to other women but haven't pursued anything?
Are you bi if you had sex with a woman, but now you are happy in a straight relationship?
The term is personal, and so to simply ask "Are you bi?" might get uneven answers.
And some numbers to support this

https://today.yougov.com/topics/soc...18/more-young-americans-now-identify-bisexual
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2021/02/24/gen-z-lgbt/

The end of cis-heteronormativity is coming and I'm here for it.

In my mind, a homosexual shouldn't be any more sexually interested in the opposite gender than a heterosexual is sexually interested in the same gender, i.e. virtually not at all. Bisexuals and pansexuals are attracted to both males and females, but there's one clear difference. Bisexual means that gender is still as important in the sexual attraction as it is to straight and gay people (and bisexuals may or may not fancy trans people), while pansexual is gender blindness in sexual attraction (where they fancy people, without gender or gender identity playing any role in the attraction).

I know I'm bisexual, and not pansexual. I sort of always knew that I was bisexual.

 

[Britva415]

I think we can say for certain that there are a lot more bisexuals in the closet than there are homosexuals in the closet. As bisexuals are attracted to the opposite gender like heterosexuals, it's easy to seem "straight" to the outside world.

You're equating "passing" with "the closet."

"Passing" isn't deliberate, it has more to do with other people's perceptions, expectations and uncuriosity than with the person actively concealing anything.

If they're passing on purpose, that's closeting and a different phenomenon.

 

[LadyJS]

It seems the older I get, the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women, hooking up with female friends, or getting off to women in porn. Is this becoming the norm? I am curious to hear from other females what they think.

I'm hetero and have no bi leanings. Even in fantasy or as an online thing, it's just something that doesn't appeal to me. Maybe I'm in the minority but it's just the way I roll.

Im a hetero black woman BUT homo porn turns me on. Im attracted to and only date men. But sexually I fantasize about tribbing a pussy and sucking big dark aerolas

Yeah, I don't even do this to get off. Personally I have no interest in it, but if others are, then I have no problem with it.

 

[RandyRebecca]

I'm hetero and have no bi leanings. Even in fantasy or as an online thing, it's just something that doesn't appeal to me. Maybe I'm in the minority but it's just the way I roll.

You're very much in the majority.

 

[Nanner65]

It seems the older I get, the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women, hooking up with female friends, or getting off to women in porn. Is this becoming the norm? I am curious to hear from other females what they think.

I’m 57 married to a wonderful man for 32 years. He knows about my bi curious side and is supportive (no he doesn’t want a 3 some). If I grew up in a different time maybe I wouldn’t be bi but just a lesbian. I think it’s easier for us Hetero women To admit to finding another woman attractive than it is for men finding another man attractive. I’ve come to learn a lot about myself and understand that sexuality is fluid and that you could be born one way but also change as you go along.

 

[LadyJS]

You're very much in the majority.

Maybe so, but like @RachelWalsh said in her opening post, "the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women" and I see that myself. So while hetero women may still be the majority, it appears to be a shrinking one, the rate of which I'm sure is open to debate. Maybe in another generation or two the balance will shift. Only time will tell.

 

[RandyRebecca]

Maybe so, but like @RachelWalsh said in her opening post, "the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women" and I see that myself. So while hetero women may still be the majority, it appears to be a shrinking one, the rate of which I'm sure is open to debate. Maybe in another generation or two the balance will shift. Only time will tell.

It's definitely a smaller and smaller majority, but we're still talking 80+% straight at the moment.

Some people ask why so many bisexuals end up in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. The most obvious reason is that there are far more people in the general population of the opposite sex attracted to people of the opposite sex than there are same sex people attracted to people of the same sex.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Maybe so, but like @RachelWalsh said in her opening post, "the more normal it is to read about women being attracted to other women" and I see that myself. So while hetero women may still be the majority, it appears to be a shrinking one, the rate of which I'm sure is open to debate. Maybe in another generation or two the balance will shift. Only time will tell.

What if there is a greater percentage of celebrities, or women with a higher profile who identify as bi, that the average Jane Sixpack? I don't have data, like some of you lovelies have, but if that is true, there could be a knock on effect.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Mmmm. Jane Sixpack.... lol

 

[Britva415]

I think we can say for certain that there are a lot more bisexuals in the closet than there are homosexuals in the closet. As bisexuals are attracted to the opposite gender like heterosexuals, it's easy to seem "straight" to the outside world. Gays and lesbians don't get that choice and would have to live a lie to stay in the closet. That would only be a problem for a closeted bisexual person if they fell deeply in love with a person of the same gender.

There are bisexuals who have a "reverse closet" - they don't pretend not to be queer.

They let people think they're gay instead of bi.

They have no problem being out of the "same-sex relationship" closet, but there are both gays and straight people who are misinformed and prejudiced about bisexuality.

 

[RachelWalsh]

I love this discussion

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I just had a conversation relating to this in another thread. I think both Rachel, Rebecca, because of similar to SSBBWs theory. I also suspect not much has changed besides the changing of the times simply brought more discussion. When you are asked sexual orientation, you generally had to pick heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual. You pick one, end of discussion. I pick straight, I love dick, but I'm not straight like a straight man straight. If you ask further, you get details about three individual women and three couples over the past 26 years. So why do I answer straight? Because 98% of the time I am with men. I am not attracted to women like men. All of those women were super close friends. I can be sexually attracted to a man I barely know. I can be sexually attracted to a man I don't like. Answering bisexual would be much more inaccurate than answering straight.

Some more recent data suggests almost 70% of women who have a history of same sex relations identify as heterosexual. Why? Probably the same reason as me, it is the most correct. All six women above also identify as straight too. A large number of straight women have college stories, even my grandmother had one, just no one asked. The bisexual data doesn't change because they don't fit bisexual. I think Rachel is reading about it more now, because people are talking more about sexuality as a spectrum, so there is space to clarify. I've read some small studies indicated almost 30% of straight women fall into this "straight, well mostly" group, more than triple the rate of men. It is not hiding, it is not a change in shock value or attention seeking, it is just not asking the right question with the correct selection of answers. I think Rebecca is correct, and at most 20% are lgbt, but I think Rachel is also correct as it is very possible if you ask all women "have you ever or might you ever engage in sexual activity with another woman" more than half may answer yes, given the right circumstances. Even someplace as open as Lit, I have like 9 genders to pick from (I am female), but then I have to pick straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, or pansexual. I am not bi like rebecca and ssbbw, not asexual or pansexual, not straight the way LadyJS is but straight is the closest, so I pick it. Ask a better question, get a better answer. Discussions are happening now more than ever, bringing better questions, hence it seems more normal.

That is my take anyway, as a straight women who crosses every 5 or so years with the right circumstances and people.