Bi Discussion: A Weekly Discussion Thread for Bis and Those That Love Them

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Bi Discussion: A Weekly Discussion Thread for Bisexuals, Bi Curious and Those That Love Them


In an effort to create community and spark thoughtful discussion, I thought I'd start a discussion thread here. It's a format that's worked well on other forums and I think it's nice to meet people an share thoughts with more than just photos.

A few ground rules:

• This isn't a personals thread. Feel free to reach out and PM someone that interests you but let's make an effort to stay on topic.
• Everyone's experience is unique so we will be encouraging an respectful.
• Please invite your bi friends to participate. The more the merrier! And if you have a question you'd liked asked PM me and we'll make it a weekly topic!

I'll start with a weekly question and we'll see how it goes!! Welcome!!​

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

 

[TallOne]

Pretty equally bad at flirting with either gender. Add in the fact that we've been essentially sheltered in place for over a year and we've become pretty feral. That first bar/swing club outing after things get back to 'normal' is going to be interesting.

 

[coati]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

I perceive two separate questions here. First, when I was young, I had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with people who hail from any part of the gender spectrum. But once I realized that all people have the same basic needs and got my confidence thing mostly resolved, it came naturally to me to flirt with attractive members of the entire gender spectrum.

I like nice and interesting people, especially the ones who are affectionate and can express themselves through touch and other non-verbal means. I was not socially isolated in my youth. Early on I recognized that gender was not a matter of fitting into one of two rigid categories. Meeting other people who recognize the same thing is always a thrill.

 

[nostuff]

Though I have decided I'm bi, I grew up straight, so flirting with other men was never a consideration. Now that I've accepted my gay desires, the idea of male flirtation is incredibly awkward. I just don't know how to do it.

Making things worse, I'm married to a woman, and in my head, flirting feels inappropriate even with (perhaps especially with) other women.

Further complicating my life, I had my first man sex just before Covid shut everything down, and there hasn't been much opportunity to flirt with anybody -- male or female. Perhaps that will change as the Covid threat subsides. Until then, any social interaction is difficult.

 

[Moochienanu]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

Being the sensual goddess I am, my social awkwardness applies equally to all genders. Though, reflecting upon it, I do feel like I’m better/more natural with openly queer folx because of a self-comfort level and openness that always seems to radiate from them and rubs off* onto me...

*pun about rubbing off placed semi-intentionally to show how good I am at the flirtings.

 

[muycurioso]

I have flirted with guys

so far nothing has came of it. A couple times I felt they were sending me a signal???

 

[AlphaLyon]

#1 Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

Flirting with guys comes easier because the stakes aren't as high, if that makes sense.
I'm a CIS male, hetero-romantic, dom bi-sexual (hope I said that right!). Because I'm more attracted to women on a romantic level, flirting with women is more difficult since I always imagine the possibility of a long term relationship and don't want to fuck it up.
With men, it's easier. If he does bite, then it's only for one night.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

(Sorry yall! I haven't forgotten about this thread. Life just got random.)

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Your discussion threads are some of my favorites to visit, even if I lurk more than I post

But, I'll give my two cents worth on this one anyway
1) I have no science or reasoning behind why, but its much easier for me to flirt with men over women, especially if its a woman who I actually really like and want to flirt with a purpose (as opposed to just silly bantering on the threads here)
2) I have a hard time feeling confident with either gender, I've always had confidence issues... but I definitely overthink and overanalyze things way more when it comes to women and my bi side.
Unless a woman makes it glaringly obvious that she wants more than casual flirting, I'm likely to play it safe and just wait for them to make a move. Its something I need to keep working on for sure. I'd like to be more confident because confidence is super sexy in my opinion, but at the same time I want things to happen organically, ya know? Not forced. And I always worry about coming on too strong too fast because I'm someone who feels all feels strongly

You and I are very similar in this. I think for women (speaking in huge generalizations), we know what I expected and the natural arc of a conversation or play. But with another woman, like in dancing, there is some fumbling on who will take the lead.
Unless your the ultra desirable alpha girl type. #goals

Pretty equally bad at flirting with either gender. Add in the fact that we've been essentially sheltered in place for over a year and we've become pretty feral. That first bar/swing club outing after things get back to 'normal' is going to be interesting.

Feral is the perfect word! I'm stealing it. And yes, I think things are about to get very weird indeed.

I perceive two separate questions here. First, when I was young, I had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with people who hail from any part of the gender spectrum. But once I realized that all people have the same basic needs and got my confidence thing mostly resolved, it came naturally to me to flirt with attractive members of the entire gender spectrum.

I like nice and interesting people, especially the ones who are affectionate and can express themselves through touch and other non-verbal means. I was not socially isolated in my youth. Early on I recognized that gender was not a matter of fitting into one of two rigid categories. Meeting other people who recognize the same thing is always a thrill.

I think being able to share a non-verbal language is only a huge bonus when you get intimate. Great insight.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Though I have decided I'm bi, I grew up straight, so flirting with other men was never a consideration. Now that I've accepted my gay desires, the idea of male flirtation is incredibly awkward. I just don't know how to do it.

Making things worse, I'm married to a woman, and in my head, flirting feels inappropriate even with (perhaps especially with) other women.

Further complicating my life, I had my first man sex just before Covid shut everything down, and there hasn't been much opportunity to flirt with anybody -- male or female. Perhaps that will change as the Covid threat subsides. Until then, any social interaction is difficult.

Oh gosh, the timing ofnuour encounter was lucky and heartbreaking all at once. At least you had it before it was too late but... one you've had it, I'm sure it was frustrating to have a barrier slam down. I'm sure there will be lots of hopeful people relearning how to flirt soon!

Being the sensual goddess I am, my social awkwardness applies equally to all genders. Though, reflecting upon it, I do feel like I’m better/more natural with openly queer folx because of a self-comfort level and openness that always seems to radiate from them and rubs off* onto me...

*pun about rubbing off placed semi-intentionally to show how good I am at the flirtings.

I love confidently awkward folks. Lol. And in this case specifically, being comfortable in one's skin is contagious.

so far nothing has came of it. A couple times I felt they were sending me a signal???

Speaking of which...

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

 

[haventdonethat]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

I like this thread!

This is me!

I consider myself very adept at picking up signals from females. I can, have and will progress to flirting where there was a noticeable, to me anyway, signal.
With males I would consider myself a bit daft LOL!
My BFF and I were a case in point. We did all the “man” things together. Hunting, fishing, cars and more.
It was my first wife who brought everything to a very satisfying conclusion. She said afterwards that the signals from him were so obvious to her and was baffled why I did not act on them. Short answer was that I was blind to his hints. If my eyes had been open I would have taken those steps years earlier.
Maybe a woman’s perspective/intuition/knowledge is different that a man’s.

 

[OnaTangent]

Most of my life I avoided picking up signals from other guys just to avoid the tempation. I had a "straight" image and I was sticking to it. The past few years that inhibition has faded, perhaps in some part from beiing open here. I have yet to pursue anything but I am much more perceptive to both genders.

 

[pantyboidoe]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

i've always enjoyed attention so flirting has been a little easier online, i guess? Haven't had much practice with in-person things though! Pretty shy in general sooo that's just kind of how that goes.

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

i did some naughty modeling for an older gentleman pre-pandemic. i absolutely loved the experience and got just a little excited while he took photos. *insert appropriate blushing*

What i didn't think about was the effect that i would have on him. Nothing ended up happening but at a later date he told me about how excited he had become seeing me on full display. *major blush*

The thought of turning him on so much was very thrilling and further spiked my bi-curiosity. Still pending on a full bi classification but curiosity will probably lead to further exploration, i am sure. Plus i just love using my toys and, well, that will probably lead to further exploration at some date.

Love sharing and taking photos and getting comments here--have been doing so for many years, under other usernames + the current one. Ultimately i am a tease who gets thrilled about showing off for both men and women.

 

[BadAmy]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

I like to flirt equally. but if y'all know me, I am harmless. It's in good fun.
Back in the day when I was without a fella, I did flirt hard and meant it. but i was respectful, when turned down.

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

well,
I am a little thick, but I can tell when a guy is receptive to my flirtations...not so much with a woman. The nuances are harder to pick up.
Like I have hard flirted with women, and was told straight up....bring it...or beat it.
But, carrying on a conversation sometimes, where my intention was to get into her panties...sometimes i couldn't feel it out. You know? Or maybe it was my method, it wasn't clear. I also didn't want to be a psycho.
does that make any sense?
I guess, that experience sort of shut me down from pursuing any further.

 

[Wand3rlust]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

I am SHIT at picking up signals from anyone. Mainly cos I would assume I was mis-reading the situation and they were just being nice.

I am also shit at giving out signals for the same reason.

Just a bit shit really.

 

[coati]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

I have to make a distinction here: there are sexual signals, and then, there are intimacy signals. A lot of men, and a lesser percentage of women, can be sexual without a deeper sense of intimacy. Their signals are usually obvious, but I am not very interested in sex without intimacy. I'm way past the mechanical days.

I actually find that intimacy signals are similar among men and women. The best way I can describe it is mutual magnetism. A lot of times, it starts out as a conversation neither of you want to end, either verbal or non-verbal. Have you ever had such a conversation with someone you just met? That's a signal.

Sometimes, a signal for intimacy starts out as a profound challenge to my assumptions-- like, ooooh, this person just cut through all the B.S., and I want to learn more. And sometimes, it feels like mutual affection, almost completely non-verbal but rapidly leading to a hug or reassuring touch of some sort.

Intimacy signals among men are rare, but it is so cool when it happens. Most men are conditioned to think that sharing their inner world is a sign of weakness, so they tend to be awkward at sending and receiving intimacy signals, and most are conditioned to have an outright intimacy barrier between themselves and other men. Intimacy signals among women and between women and men are more common and are considered more "permissible".

Because so many men are closed up, I find that men who have busted out of that conditioning are relatively easy to spot. The signals are clear, because there is less fear of appearing weak. If you are approachable yourself, it is much easier to send and receive signals with other people who are ready to drop their sword and shield.

I have not talked myself out of intimacy signals since my young adult years. That would be like ignoring a piece of gold I found on the sidewalk. If someone wants to communicate with me in a respectful way, that's an opportunity.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

 

[TallOne]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

Yes, told my now wife on our third date. We've had some bi swinging experiences together. Go out to see burlesque/drag performances at gay bars and such together and she is bi as well. Would not be in a relationship with someone that did not accept me for who I was(or had a problem with lgbt issues in general).

 

[photobuff56]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

Married to a woman and no haven't and never will tell her.

 

[Moochienanu]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

Yay! Happy pride!

My partners know about my sexuality. I’m no good with those kind of secrets. It’s too difficult for me to be intimate with someone if they don’t know who I am. My friends also all know and have all been supportive of me.

My family on the other hand? Nope. They will probably never know me completely.

 

[Crios]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

My grad study area was library science. 90% women. I got to know most of the guys as well since we were in the minority. Probably 90% of the guys were gay. I was firmly hetero at the time and actually had a girl back home whom I'm still married to.

Anyway, one evening after class, one of the guys I was working on a project with invited me back to his place. He'd been flirting for most the semester so I was pretty sure what he intended. So, I guess I can recognize flirting from guys.

Fast forward two years later and I'm on a business trip to NY with a female colleague. I'm married, she's not. Didn't stop her from coming on to me during and after dinner. So CHECK - can recognize when a person of the opposite sex is flirting.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm often pretty clueless to when someone is flirting with me, male or female - at least that's what my wife says.
She sometimes points it out to me and I realize it after the fact.

"Really? No way."

"Yeah, they totally snubbed me until I introduced myself as your wife..."

 

[hotwords229_A]

Oh great, now I have to follow another interesting PLP thread.