Bi curious but in a loving relationship

[jollyrodger]

I was looking for anyones thoughts on this subject. I am a 21 year old male, happily in love with my girlfriend who I intend on being with forever. However, I also get very horney at the thought of being with a guy. I have chatted to a couple of guys and I am close to sorting out a meeting at a gay sauna in London. The only thing holding me back is the thought of cheating on my girlfriend. Any experiences/thoughts? Cheers

 

[Pookie]

I was looking for anyones thoughts on this subject. I am a 21 year old male, happily in love with my girlfriend who I intend on being with forever. However, I also get very horney at the thought of being with a guy. I have chatted to a couple of guys and I am close to sorting out a meeting at a gay sauna in London. The only thing holding me back is the thought of cheating on my girlfriend. Any experiences/thoughts? Cheers

First, cheating would be the biggest mistake you could make. If you are that serious about wanting to pursue your curiosity, you need to talk with your gf first. That probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's not fair to her otherwise. What happens if you do go through with cheating on her, enjoy the experience, and want more experiences like that? Will you continue to cheat on her? What happens when she finds out later on? Do you want to have to hide this from her forever?

Cheating is a very bad precedent to make in a relationship. How would you feel if she did the same thing to you?

 

[Angel]

Same Sex cheating is still cheating. Please don't assume it's different because to a SO at least, it's still cheating.


Testing out your sexuality behind the back of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with isn't a good start to what you stated you wanted to be forever.

You have a couple of options. Discuss your feelings openly with her and either work through it with her, or end the relationship and finish exploring before you tie someone else down.

 

[Etoile]

Same Sex cheating is still cheating. Please don't assume it's different because to a SO at least, it's still cheating.


Testing out your sexuality behind the back of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with isn't a good start to what you stated you wanted to be forever.

You have a couple of options. Discuss your feelings openly with her and either work through it with her, or end the relationship and finish exploring before you tie someone else down.

Perfectly put. You took the exact words right out of my mouth, Angel.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

I was looking for anyones thoughts on this subject. I am a 21 year old male, happily in love with my girlfriend who I intend on being with forever. However, I also get very horney at the thought of being with a guy. I have chatted to a couple of guys and I am close to sorting out a meeting at a gay sauna in London. The only thing holding me back is the thought of cheating on my girlfriend. Any experiences/thoughts? Cheers

Talk with your girlfriend about your feelings. I should have with mine before acting on impulse. Just do not do it without talking to her about it first. Don't make the mistake I did. It causes a lot of unneccisary pain, heartache and suffering. Take it from someone who knows and just went through it.

K now you all know my gave error in judgement.

 

[ithaqua]

I was looking for anyones thoughts on this subject. I am a 21 year old male, happily in love with my girlfriend who I intend on being with forever. However, I also get very horney at the thought of being with a guy. I have chatted to a couple of guys and I am close to sorting out a meeting at a gay sauna in London. The only thing holding me back is the thought of cheating on my girlfriend. Any experiences/thoughts? Cheers

OK, I am going to get roasted but what I am going to say to you is the truth.

Women and Men view SEX very differently.

Men have dedicated relationships that contain emotional attachments, caring, nurturing, and home building feelings. These are very deep emotional relationships.

Men also have sex.

It is important to note that in a mans mind, these two things are not necessarily related. Men can be 100% dedicated to a relationship that does not contain sex, and be 0% dedicated to one that does.

Women on the other hand do not make this distinction. For them sex is cheating and there are no excuses.

Coming back to your question. If you do decide to experiment, you and your male lover will probably view it as only a sexual encounter, while your female lover will view it as cheating.

She will throw you out, with much yelling and screeming, then she will cry to herself and anyone else that will listen for the next six months that she turned a man gay.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

She will throw you out, with much yelling and screeming, then she will cry to herself and anyone else that will listen for the next six months that she turned a man gay.

Not all woman will do this. If what you have between eachother is true love, she will want to work it out and try to understand what you have done. If you talk about it before you do it, she might understand a little better than if you just go and do it without consulting her. If she loves you and is open-minded she will most likely understand the situation at hand.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I was looking for anyones thoughts on this subject. I am a 21 year old male, happily in love with my girlfriend who I intend on being with forever. However, I also get very horney at the thought of being with a guy. I have chatted to a couple of guys and I am close to sorting out a meeting at a gay sauna in London. The only thing holding me back is the thought of cheating on my girlfriend. Any experiences/thoughts? Cheers

If you want to fuck around, you shouldn't have a serious relationship at the same time...and that has nothing to do with being gay, bi, or striaght.

 

[hotladynj]

Hubby is Bi

My Hubby is bi and I have know for a few years. We have talked about it over the years. I am very accepting of it and we have had one 3some already. We want to do this again. We have talked about what he feels and what he wants to find out about a guy. He loves watchign a guy when we cam. You NEED to be honest with her. If this is how you feel then you have to be OPEN with her. You CAN"T have a secret life fromher or you are going to be dishonest with her and woth yourself. BE HONEST

 

[2Shy2Try_Bi]

Hey, Jolly......

I'm going through exactly what you're going through right now. I'm living with my long term girlfriend but have thought for a long time I may be Bi.

I haven't done anything about it but I also know that I couldn't talk to my girl about it. I'm afraid this has very little to do with the amount that she loves me but has very much to do with how very closed minded she is about sex. To be fair, if I had realised how uptight about sex she was before I had fallen in love with her, we wouldn't be together.

Be sure of what you want to do before you do anything. To my mind, the fact that you have posted this Thread says that you aren't truly comfortable with it yet. All I would advise is, regardless of what you tell your GF, be sure you want to go down this road before you venture into that sauna. I don't want to speak ill of anyone, but I'm sure there are a few guys out there who would be willing to take advantage of your vulnerable state.

Be careful!!!

 

[Boo_Roger]

My Experience

I was with the girl i thought i would marry, we were together for 5 years, but i, too, had curiosities. i had the urge to cheat, but quickly came to my senses. I discussed my feelings with her, and we tried having an open relationship, but it drove her crazy cause she was doing it for me. so we stopped it before i could get the chance. now i look back at it, we should've never done that, instead i hid my feelings for another 5 years. and it has driven me crazy. we recently broke up and now, i see it's my time. It's the hard truth, but that's the way it is. If you feel the things you do, then you need to do these things for you. It's going to hurt, but that's the way it needs to be if the feelings are as strong as you say you are. Sorry if this advice sucks, but that's the way it worked out for me, and i am lving every minute of it now that i am getting past the hard part.

 

[Boo_Roger]

con't

oh and we tried a 3some, but i wouldn't recommend it personally.

 

[hotladynj]

Re: con't

oh and we tried a 3some, but i wouldn't recommend it personally.

Why wouldn't you recommend it Boo_Roger? If it is done right and the couple are upfront I think it can work!

 

[Boo_Roger]

re:con't

that's why i threw the 'personally' in there. it didn't work for me for those exact reasons. we weren't ready for it. it works for some people, but then it doesn't for others. and it didn't work for me.

 

[hotladynj]

Re: re:con't

that's why i threw the 'personally' in there. it didn't work for me for those exact reasons. we weren't ready for it. it works for some people, but then it doesn't for others. and it didn't work for me.

I agree that BOTH people have to be ready or it won't work!!!

 

[Netzach]

Women on the other hand do not make this distinction. For them sex is cheating and there are no excuses.

reason 9994 that I'm really a boy, I guess.....

 

[hotladynj]

Women on the other hand do not make this distinction. For them sex is cheating and there are no excuses.

reason 9994 that I'm really a boy, I guess.....

Its cheating if the man is doing it without the woman. Then yes it is cheating. If the couple is doing it together than NO its not cheating. I am a woman and that is how I feel.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Women on the other hand do not make this distinction. For them sex is cheating and there are no excuses.

reason 9994 that I'm really a boy, I guess.....

Yes you really are a boy, especially for sterotyping all woman in this manner!!!!!!!!! You need to really grow up son, and study the oppisite sex some more before making comments/statements like the one you have above..............

 

[hotladynj]

Yes you really are a boy, especially for sterotyping all woman in this manner!!!!!!!!! You need to really grow up son, and study the oppisite sex some more before making comments/statements like the one you have above..............

Thanks ExistentialLuv you said it sssoooo much better than I did. He ws such an..........

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Thanks ExistentialLuv you said it sssoooo much better than I did. He ws such an..........

No prob, just can't stand an ignorant or arogant little (fuck)boy that does not know what he is talking about. He needs a spanking and lessons on how to keep his mouth shut instead of opening it up so wide that he puts not only his foot but his whole leg in it.
Later

 

[Bi_in_Vancouver]

For what it's worth, I told my wife that I was bi(but very inexperienced) shortly after we met and started dating.

I eventually met a bi married guy online(whose wife is also bi) and we decided to meet for sushi. We all hit it off and started hanging out together. I introduced him and his wife to my wife and they got along well too.

To make a long story short, the four of us started seeing each other as couples. Same sex play and opposite sex play. We dated for close to a year before deciding it was time to move on(different priorities out of life).

Thing is, if all parties are in full disclosure to each other and there is understanding and permission it can work. One thing my wife and I learned from our experience is that it's okay to be attracted to and see other people. As long as the other knows about it beforehand and we discuss it fully.

 

[hotladynj]

For what it's worth, I told my wife that I was bi(but very inexperienced) shortly after we met and started dating.

I eventually met a bi married guy online(whose wife is also bi) and we decided to meet for sushi. We all hit it off and started hanging out together. I introduced him and his wife to my wife and they got along well too.

To make a long story short, the four of us started seeing each other as couples. Same sex play and opposite sex play. We dated for close to a year before deciding it was time to move on(different priorities out of life).

Thing is, if all parties are in full disclosure to each other and there is understanding and permission it can work. One thing my wife and I learned from our experience is that it's okay to be attracted to and see other people. As long as the other knows about it beforehand and we discuss it fully.

That is how my hubby and I feel. We feel if everything is out in the open and being honest than everything is fine. Its when the wife doesn't know how the man feels or does things without the wife that they are being dishonest. I am glad so many people feel the same way we do.

Honesty is the BEST policy!!!

 

[Etoile]

Yes you really are a boy, especially for sterotyping all woman in this manner!!!!!!!!! You need to really grow up son, and study the oppisite sex some more before making comments/statements like the one you have above..............

No prob, just can't stand an ignorant or arogant little (fuck)boy that does not know what he is talking about. He needs a spanking and lessons on how to keep his mouth shut instead of opening it up so wide that he puts not only his foot but his whole leg in it.
Later

You're talking about Netzach?! Wow, this is pretty funny. I thought Netzach posted enough around here that this kind of misunderstanding wouldn't happen. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/bigevilgrin.gif

 

[ExistentialLuv]

You're talking about Netzach?! Wow, this is pretty funny. I thought Netzach posted enough around here that this kind of misunderstanding wouldn't happen. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/bigevilgrin.gif

Glad you found it funny Etoile. Even though I have a lot of posts honey, I am still technically a newbie and not familiar with everyone yet. Working on getting to know people though so these kinds of misunderstandings do not happen