Bi couply 3some

[banes27]

Hi, me and my fiancee are wondering how we could go about anding up in a threesome, either with another guy or another girl, preferably someone we don't know and have little chance of meeting very often afterwards (that's the preferred way, but if we were to see them after that'd be fine). We're both in our early 20s and both bisexual, with a stronger pull to the opposite sex than to the same sex. Probably both on a percentage of 80-90% straight to 10-20% gay (we oddly match up this way, which is was a surprise for both of us).

We were thinking, being an established couple, how easy would it be to find a near complete stranger to join in with us (since they wouldn't know either of us, there might be some awkwardness maybe?) and how would we actually find such a person?

Thanks for any replies

Banes27

 

[emap]

Well personal's sites would work well so long as she does the ad. There are tons more guys than women in most of the personal's sites. Since your talking a one time or occassional relationship with someone it will be easier to find a guy.

Not really something you can find just going out, except going to a bar or club and waiting until almost midnight when everyone is drunk enough to say yes and not too drunk to pass out mid disrobing.

Course this may not work for you two but swingers are a good one to look into. Usually they want to swap wives but you can find ones who want to do orgy type things and it's easy enough to find another man or woman to add in and you would only need to worry if they had fun or not.

Well I think anyway I'm not a swinger myself and only know the rumors and what little has been said in here before.

 

[banes27]

Well personal's sites would work well so long as she does the ad. There are tons more guys than women in most of the personal's sites. Since your talking a one time or occassional relationship with someone it will be easier to find a guy.

Not really something you can find just going out, except going to a bar or club and waiting until almost midnight when everyone is drunk enough to say yes and not too drunk to pass out mid disrobing.

Haha, yeah, them passing out would suck. I remember one of my friends ended up in one with a married couple at the univeristy's student bar at like 5pm before anyone even started drinking, so there are some people out there lol. But yeah, good point on the personal's sites. They do seem to be massively overpopulated by men. Thinking about it, if we were looking for a woman, would it be better for me to write it and her if we're looking for a guy?

Course this may not work for you two but swingers are a good one to look into. Usually they want to swap wives but you can find ones who want to do orgy type things and it's easy enough to find another man or woman to add in and you would only need to worry if they had fun or not.

Yeah, not really interested in that, too much. Well... I would be, but only if it's not close to home. I think if it were too local word would get round, and swingers never sound good

 

[pinky_love]

I was always told people who have that pampas(sp) grass in their garden were swingers, i was really peeved when i realised my good looking neighbours from 2 doors down have pampas grass and dont swing

 

[SweetErika]

Thinking about it, if we were looking for a woman, would it be better for me to write it and her if we're looking for a guy?

She should write it and make initial contact, regardless of whether you're targeting men or women.

But if you're mainly seeking women, be prepared for a long search. Couples like that are a dime a dozen, whereas single women looking to join couples are relatively rare. That's why it's good to be flexible with gender and configurations (e.g. seeking another couple with a bi woman, being open to the women playing while the men watch or only play with their own partners, etc.).

Yeah, not really interested in that, too much. Well... I would be, but only if it's not close to home. I think if it were too local word would get round, and swingers never sound good

Actually, swingers and other alternative lifestyle communities are usually pretty good about not outing each other. Most groups have rules about not outing other members. In this regard, you're probably safer with a group with established rules/norms than random people who might "kiss and tell."

But you don't have to go to a club/party to find swingers. There are quite a few personals sites for people who are interested in swinging, and you may find it easier to find exactly who you're looking for (e.g. another bi couple) by going the swingers personals route.

I'm not sure how it is where you are, but here there can be a bias against bi men in swinging groups/clubs. That said, there are certainly plenty of bi couples who are into swinging, so it's not like they don't exist. It's just something you may want to ask about before, say, going to a party and advertising yourself as a bi male or bi couple. "Sex-positive" and "pansexual" groups are generally not as discriminatory WRT sexual orientation.

Oh, and don't assume that people who are into casual sex are healthy or into regular testing and safer sex. Safer sex practices need to be discussed and planned for explicitly.

 

[infinity706]

Well I think anyway I'm not a swinger myself and only know the rumors and what little has been said in here before.

Sure, you're not. That's about like how I can claim to be a virgin. It doesn't count if you use a condom, right?

She should write it and make initial contact, regardless of whether you're targeting men or women.

But if you're mainly seeking women, be prepared for a long search. Couples like that are a dime a dozen, whereas single women looking to join couples are relatively rare. That's why it's good to be flexible with gender and configurations (e.g. seeking another couple with a bi woman, being open to the women playing while the men watch or only play with their own partners, etc.).



Actually, swingers and other alternative lifestyle communities are usually pretty good about not outing each other. Most groups have rules about not outing other members. In this regard, you're probably safer with a group with established rules/norms than random people who might "kiss and tell."

But you don't have to go to a club/party to find swingers. There are quite a few personals sites for people who are interested in swinging, and you may find it easier to find exactly who you're looking for (e.g. another bi couple) by going the swingers personals route.

I'm not sure how it is where you are, but here there can be a bias against bi men in swinging groups/clubs. That said, there are certainly plenty of bi couples who are into swinging, so it's not like they don't exist. It's just something you may want to ask about before, say, going to a party and advertising yourself as a bi male or bi couple. "Sex-positive" and "pansexual" groups are generally not as discriminatory WRT sexual orientation.

Oh, and don't assume that people who are into casual sex are healthy or into regular testing and safer sex. Safer sex practices need to be discussed and planned for explicitly.

I'm almost certain you have evidence to back it up, but I've never even heard of swinger groups being biased against bi men. I know there's generally issues with 'leg humpers,' but that's not uncommon anyway.

 

[SweetErika]

I'm almost certain you have evidence to back it up, but I've never even heard of swinger groups being biased against bi men. I know there's generally issues with 'leg humpers,' but that's not uncommon anyway.

I was in a relationship with a bi guy whose first foray into the sex-positive lifestyle was swinging. Both he and his wife (who is also bi) cited anti-bi-male discrimination as one of the main reasons they quit swinging. The examples they gave weren't of overt discrimination in most cases, but they were clear enough to leave me with no doubt that bi male halves of MF couples generally aren't welcomed with open arms here.

After hearing their experiences, I was curious to see if other former and current swingers had similar thoughts or experiences, and many of them did.

I've also heard that BDSM isn't widely accepted and health/safety isn't as big of a priority in our local swinging community (at least as it is in the kinky and sex-positive communities), either.

So, no rock-solid evidence, but when I'm told the same things by multiple reliable people who have plenty of first-hand experience in the local and national lifestyle, I tend to believe them. As I said, I don't know what the norms are elsewhere, but it probably pays to be on the lookout for pertinent pitfalls everywhere to decrease the chances of having bad experiences.

 

[infinity706]

Well, it still sounds strange. I live in the bible belt of the south and I've had my hands on more 'straight' guys than any woman I know. Of course, a lot of that could be my reputation, though. As many partners as I've had, I probably have tons of references.

I definately agree about the health/safety, though. When you've had over 130 people and only 1 has had a condom so far, it's pretty solid evidence.

 

[NightL]

Hey infinity706, I just hope that out of 130 partners (and who is counting) I hope the "1" with the condom has been you each and everytime...

...now if 130 partners each had 130 sexual partners who they practised unsafe sex with before they were with you... now that is nasty...

...maybe also nasty if they only had just 10 previous sexual partners who they had unprotected sex with before you...

Be careful your "references" don't become your reputation... "this person will have unprotected sex with anyone"... and then just who would you attract?

 

[infinity706]

Hey infinity706, I just hope that out of 130 partners (and who is counting) I hope the "1" with the condom has been you each and everytime...

...now if 130 partners each had 130 sexual partners who they practised unsafe sex with before they were with you... now that is nasty...

...maybe also nasty if they only had just 10 previous sexual partners who they had unprotected sex with before you...

Be careful your "references" don't become your reputation... "this person will have unprotected sex with anyone"... and then just who would you attract?

Well, apparently, I could have worded my post better. What I meant was, 1 person besides me actually had a condom.

Now, as far as my reputation, the fact that I even require the use of condoms is seen as a drawback by a lot of people. I haven't really kept count, but I think it's been somewhere around a dozen that have literally walked out on me for even having a condom and I've had probably half or more complain about them. (the ones that walked out on me were all guys, but quite a few women dislike condoms as well) If you'd read more than just that one post, you'd be able to figure out that I'm well known as the guy that won't have unprotected sex with anyone. The high points are that I'm super easy and extremely open to kinks.

 

[NightL]

infinity706, I am pleased to read that... may you continue to bring safe smiles to people...

 

[infinity706]

Yeah, I wonder if it's some kind of record to be able to still pass an STD test after fucking that many people.