"Beware the Cat"

[NaomiDPlumm]

Sign on door "Beware of guard cat."

"Guard cat, what a silly concept," you think to yourself out loud as you open the door anyway.

Well, Bengal Tigers are cats...

 

[sirhugs]

Sign on door "Beware of guard cat."

"Guard cat, what a silly concept," you think to yourself out loud as you open the door anyway.

Well, Bengal Tigers are cats...

but how do we make it sexy?

 

[Hypoxia]

Well, Bengal Tigers are cats...

but how do we make it sexy?

The tiger is horny (and IQ-enhanced), not hungry. Divers are raped by dolphins. Tourists are raped by orangutans. Kitty-rape should work on LIT as long as 1) the cat talks and 2) the victim cums and survives.

Meanshile, we stayed at a modest hotel, haunted by old Brit tourists, on Italy's Amalfi Coast, east of Naples, south of Pompeii. It's dining area was a space between masonry buildings, covered by translucent fiberglass panels. Local cats gathered on that covering. Diners below could view felines fighting and fucking overhead while the house organist sang Volare and Mambo Italiano. Kewl...

 

[sirhugs]

The tiger is horny (and IQ-enhanced), not hungry. Divers are raped by dolphins. Tourists are raped by orangutans. Kitty-rape should work on LIT as long as 1) the cat talks and 2) the victim cums and survives.

Meanshile, we stayed at a modest hotel, haunted by old Brit tourists, on Italy's Amalfi Coast, east of Naples, south of Pompeii. It's dining area was a space between masonry buildings, covered by translucent fiberglass panels. Local cats gathered on that covering. Diners below could view felines fighting and fucking overhead while the house organist sang Volare and Mambo Italiano. Kewl...

no animal sex on Lit though!

 

[Hypoxia]

no animal sex on Lit though!

Non-speaking animals with each other are okay, as are speaking critters with humans. But is your sheep really talking to you, or just making eyes?

 

[rackofdawn]

You did not spell it right

This thread is turning into a catastrophe!!!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BgivMw_IcAAFsp9.jpg

Wouldn't it be Cat Ass Trophy?

 

[Hypoxia]

Wouldn't it be Cat Ass Trophy?

Better than an Ape Ass Trophy, isn't it? Apostrophe, my ass! Which brings to mind the story of the crunch bird. "Crunch-bird, my ass!" Dis-aster ensues. Or the old gal who lost her tin of aspirins on the bus. "Oh, my ass-burns! My ass-burns!" she cried, and the driver yelled, "well, stick your butt out the window and cool off!" Maybe we need a thread of ass jokes. My ass is a joke, sure...

Back to cats. Consider the guard crocodile wearing a "cat" name tag. Or a "Beware of cats" sign at a front door enclosing a houseful of hungry felines who'll strip an intruder down to a skeleton in mere minutes. Or the hypnotic ET alien that *looks* catlike and learned how to control humans from our feline owners. Cats domesticated humans, y'know. They outnumber us. Who won?

 

[Zionisacat]

Hey Apostrophe was a great album. While not as philosophically deep as some of his other albums it's a great starting point for some one to begin their immersion in the Mothers. Side 1 also has some fairly lit worth tracks. "Don't eat the yellow snow" and "Nanook rubs it" are fairly straight forward and destined for the Fetish categories. For the sake of continuity St Alphonzos pancake breakfast probably belongs there as well. Cosmic Debris just needs a few hundred more words to take it passed the 750 word minimum.
Anyways where were we?

Curiosity screwed the cat - A nerd dress's up as the mars rover Curiosity and goes to the Halloween ball. There they meet up with someone dressed as a cat. Hilarity ensues but the curiosity costume is ruined.

 

[sirhugs]

Hey Apostrophe was a great album. While not as philosophically deep as some of his other albums it's a great starting point for some one to begin their immersion in the Mothers. Side 1 also has some fairly lit worth tracks. "Don't eat the yellow snow" and "Nanook rubs it" are fairly straight forward and destined for the Fetish categories. For the sake of continuity St Alphonzos pancake breakfast probably belongs there as well. Cosmic Debris just needs a few hundred more words to take it passed the 750 word minimum.
Anyways where were we?

Curiosity screwed the cat - A nerd dress's up as the mars rover Curiosity and goes to the Halloween ball. There they meet up with someone dressed as a cat. Hilarity ensues but the curiosity costume is ruined.

hood thing that cat has nine lives.

 

[Hypoxia]

...that cat has nine lives.

Have you counted? But I recall a favorite from a Bulwer-Lytton Story Contest.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat," she mused,
pinning its little feet to the dissection board.​

Now imagine a kitty pinning YOU down for study. Can you stand tuna-breath?

 

[Carnevil9]

Hey Apostrophe was a great album. While not as philosophically deep as some of his other albums it's a great starting point for some one to begin their immersion in the Mothers. Side 1 also has some fairly lit worth tracks. "Don't eat the yellow snow" and "Nanook rubs it" are fairly straight forward and destined for the Fetish categories. For the sake of continuity St Alphonzos pancake breakfast probably belongs there as well. Cosmic Debris just needs a few hundred more words to take it passed the 750 word minimum........

Dinah-Moe Humm is about as Lit as it gets already. But the Zappa song that I've always wanted to see turned into a Lit story is Goblin Girl.

 

[sirhugs]

Have you counted? But I recall a favorite from a Bulwer-Lytton Story Contest.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat," she mused,
pinning its little feet to the dissection board.​

Now imagine a kitty pinning YOU down for study. Can you stand tuna-breath?

I love tuna casserole.

 

[Hypoxia]

I love tuna casserole.

Just hope your cat finds tuna acceptable and doesn't demand human flesh. Of course, after you've eaten your tuna casserole, you're only more tempting to the cat. Beware.

 

[Carnevil9]

I love tuna casserole.

My old pappy always told me, "Son, there are only two things in the world that smell like tuna. One of them is tuna."

 

[Hypoxia]

My old pappy always told me, "Son, there are only two things in the world that smell like tuna. One of them is tuna."

Housecats are notorious for become tuna junkies. Does that include Hot Tuna, live or recorded? Or are canines implicated, too? I recall a reworked lyric of a Crapenters song: "That is why... all the dogs in town... follow you... all around / Just like me, they long to be, close to you..." That was before Karen anoxeriaed herself into oblivion.

But I digress. Pedestrians (any gender) smelling of animal protein may attract a bestial following. Just remember the LIT bestiality rules.