I have been trying to get someone to read my story, I've tried a few volunteer editors, with no response, and my earlier post has not got any response. The story is not complete, otherwise I would probably just publish it and see what happens.
The story is about 6k words long so far. I'm stuck on it and I feel like I'm forcing it. It is outside my comfort zone.
It is a cliche story but I'm hoping I went about it in a funny way. The basic premise is this. A divorced Dad lives alone. His 20 year old daughter and her best friend come home for the weekend from college (cliche) no incest.
I have tried to write it in a very dumb, over the top Dad joke sort of way. It's loosely based off a viral skit Beekeeping Age. The friend is watching the dad with his bees and for some reason it turns her on. For the daughter and her friend, I have leaned heavy into the gen Z young woman caricature. I am none of those things! For the dad I leaned having into the Home Depot Dad sort of guy.
I would really appreciate some feedback or maybe some advice on if it is hitting the mark or not. I am happy to email to you! Here's an excerpt.
Lacey pressed one hand to the glass, like she was trying to absorb the scene through osmosis.
“How old is he, anyway? I mean, like he’s obviously beekeeping age, right?.”
“That’s not a real thing,” Summer deadpanned.
“It should be,” Lacey breathed. “Right between ‘dad-bod’ and ‘fixes a leaky sink without even Googling it.’ It’s a vibe.”
The story is about 6k words long so far. I'm stuck on it and I feel like I'm forcing it. It is outside my comfort zone.
It is a cliche story but I'm hoping I went about it in a funny way. The basic premise is this. A divorced Dad lives alone. His 20 year old daughter and her best friend come home for the weekend from college (cliche) no incest.
I have tried to write it in a very dumb, over the top Dad joke sort of way. It's loosely based off a viral skit Beekeeping Age. The friend is watching the dad with his bees and for some reason it turns her on. For the daughter and her friend, I have leaned heavy into the gen Z young woman caricature. I am none of those things! For the dad I leaned having into the Home Depot Dad sort of guy.
I would really appreciate some feedback or maybe some advice on if it is hitting the mark or not. I am happy to email to you! Here's an excerpt.
Lacey pressed one hand to the glass, like she was trying to absorb the scene through osmosis.
“How old is he, anyway? I mean, like he’s obviously beekeeping age, right?.”
“That’s not a real thing,” Summer deadpanned.
“It should be,” Lacey breathed. “Right between ‘dad-bod’ and ‘fixes a leaky sink without even Googling it.’ It’s a vibe.”
