best/worst pick up line ever

[goodolboy]

Hi, I have a penis, you have a vagina - we were made for each other.

 

[mynameisben]

worst: How much for 15 minutes?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Hey, how you doin'?

It's for you to decide if the above is the best or the worst.

 

[davion2308]

BEst worst

My friend tried what was one of the worst pick-up lines I ever heard a few years ago. One woman crushed him with her response. Consider this Worst --> Best.

He walked over to a girl a barstool:

"Bond. James Bond."

She looked him up and down and enunciated very clearly,

"Away. Go away."

He never lived it down.

 

[jehoram]

My friend tried what was one of the worst pick-up lines I ever heard a few years ago. One woman crushed him with her response. Consider this Worst --> Best.

He walked over to a girl a barstool:

"Bond. James Bond."

She looked him up and down and enunciated very clearly,

"Away. Go away."

He never lived it down.

There's a story that Isaac Asimov used to tell about Harlan Ellison, his good friend, who was very short. The story goes that Harlan accosted a statuesque blonde, and said, "Hey, baby! What do you say to a little fuck?"

She looked down on him and replied, "Go away, little fuck!"

Years later, Asimov confessed that he made the whole story up.

 

[jehoram]

He: "Do you still have your virginity?"

She: "No, I don't"

He: "Well, can I play with the box it came in?"

 

[BillyAndBetty]

..........

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Overheard a student in the first row of my class in the Anthropology of Sex (also known as "how to do it around the world") say to the young lady at the desk next to his: "What's a nice girl like you doing in a class like this?" She cracked up laughing.
Judging from their behaviour the rest of the term, though, it seemed to have been an effective line.

 

[Trickman]

Ummm..is that a shovel in your back pocket. .because I'm digging your ass!

Heard it in the local watering hole..it just struck me as funny as hell!

 

[ericbsinger]

The worse pick-up line I've ever used...that worked...(so does that actually make it the best?) was:

Me: *looking the lady up and down, then look in her eyes and smile* "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

 

[hulmule]

Hi how are you?
"no answer from her"
Hey even a dog would bark...

Excuse me, wanted to tell you your a very pretty woman, love your hair and smile.
"Oh thank you"
Started to walk away
"Hey i think you a nice looking man"
we dated for a while

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

1972, I'm standing outside the You&I bar talking to a couple people I knew when this one guy (3rd) said to this girl that was with us, "Whats the best line you ever acted on?" She said, "I asked this guy I was interested in if he had a light?" He said, "In my left pocket, get it..." She stuck her hand in his pocket and got ahold of his hardon he had been sporting. They spent the weekend together. 3rd goes, "That?, that was the best you heard?"
She laughed and said "Yeah, why?"

He pulled a wad of fifties outta his pocket and started flipping them up to count as he said, "Stop me when its enough to spent the night with us--,"
Three minutes later we were headed across town to the Holiday Inn.

{btw, he was called 3rd because of his 12 inch dick, it was his '3rd foot'}

 

[Hypoxia]

Of all possible lines, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?" is probably the most reliable. Even if turned down 98% of the time, the other 2% add up to much fun. Ask 200 times a day and get four fucks per diem. Try this at family reunions, too.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

worst: How much for 15 minutes?

I've gotten this before and yeah it didn't go well

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

Try this at family reunions, too.

Really, because I find making good eye contact, followed three seconds later by a quick raising of the eyebrows, followed by a smile to be sufficient.

I'm joking

Maybe. (Smiles.)

(Why does saying that make people uncomfortable?)

 

[ToPleaseHim]

The worse pick-up line I've ever used...that worked...(so does that actually make it the best?) was:

Me: *looking the lady up and down, then look in her eyes and smile* "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

Hmmm...back in the day a few friends and I used to joke around about this exact line...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

My current guy, one I plan to be with for a long long time, started with “Let me know when it would be a good time to tell you I have had a crush on you for a few years...” The crush had been mutual, so our friendship became more almost immediately.

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

Do you accept "Groupon?"

 

[Bigspurt]

What do you think about swapping a couple of “Os”?

 

[XerXesXu]

Of all possible lines, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?" is probably the most reliable. Even if turned down 98% of the time, the other 2% add up to much fun. Ask 200 times a day and get four fucks per diem. Try this at family reunions, too.

We didn't have incels when I was young.

A tongue-tied, shy guy would be told to walk up to girls and stammer “fancy a fuck?” He’d get his face slapped a lot, but he’d also get a lot of fucks.

Shy girls were told to stand in the street and look at the sky. They’d attract men like flies to a turd. And no need to be picky, to find your prince you’ve got to fuck a lot of frogs.

Innocent days.

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

(Bad -- But it worked.)

Him: "You ... Bed ... Now ... Little girl ... "
Me: "Yes ... Daddy ... "

Joke

Maybe

 

[MindCandie]

(Bad -- But it worked.)

Him: "You ... Bed ... Now ... Little girl ... "
Me: "Yes ... Daddy ... "

Joke

Maybe

You're an angel, now fly.

 

[CuttingEdge]

"You must have just walked through a sugar factor because your legs are sweet!"

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm not the best looking guy here, but the only one talking to you.

 

[Twelfthmonkey]

So..

Nice legs . . . what time do they open?