Best Comedic Writing in an Erotic Story

[Laurel]

Post the name of story & author of the Best Comedic Writing in an Erotic Story. Also include the dialogue you are nominating. Nominations only - Discussions can take place in the Author Hangout...

[This message has been edited by Laurel (edited 12-17-1999).]

 

[Guest]

"The Road Taken"

>>Dear Abby,
I have a question of etiquette. I'm currently in bed with a woman and her husband. Right now, she and I are clearly ready to go.

Question: Would it be impolite for me to take her first, which would, of course, leave sloppy seconds for the husband, or does tradition dictate that the guest should wait until the hosts are done. I know the rule for dancing with a married women, but I wasn't sure if it applies in this situation.

I'd really appreciate an answer because a faux pas would be so embarrassing.

Sincerely yours,
I'll Be Blue If I'm Number Two<<

 

[*Eve*]

I nominate the guy who wrote the part in the interactive section about the rotten pussy. That was a classic.

 

[Guest]

The Rookie, by Deborah:

"Then I told him to stand up. He looked like something you could hang clothes
on. and I'm thinking that thing is going inside me? Like Shaq trying to put on
Bob Costas' shoes? So I got my left hand at the attached end, my right hand
on the middle and I still had plenty of room for my mouth. And I'm moving my
hands and my mouth and I'm not talking. I think that's what turned him on the
most. Me not talking."

 

[Deborah]

Pleeeese!!! I know you are not supposed to talk about these nominations here, but ...

I know it was either XXplorher or Rodrigo who is playing Voter2 and nominated me for that story just because they like the concept of me not talking. Please don't vote for that people. I didn't even mean it to be funny.

I nominate myself for the last line in my last story Who Put the X in X-Mas ...

Daddy gave me another present that X-Mas. A cute little puppy. I named him XXplorher. "Dagnabbit, get down dog."

And how can a dog be nominated for Sexiest Author?

And Eve, I know you are the mother of all living (romance stories) and all, but follow the instructions here. You are supposed to quote the line. I know, the Devil made you do it. Here's the line you should have quoted, from the Interactive Story entitled Caught, Chapter 4: the rotten pussy ...

i started i eat her hairy pussy but had to stop becase of the smell coming from her pussy. oh i forgot to tell u she is a fucking slut. i hit her becaues she had me vomit from the smell and said "hey bitch get on your knees and smile like a doughnut u fucking slut"

Where was Bodrigo on this one? Definitely I think this rotten pussy dude should win, so please vote for him. I think his award should be he gets to hang out with XXplorher and Bodrigo, they make movies playing Larry, Curly and Moe and get rich and famous.

 

[Guest]

I luv this part, from that library story by Endlessly...But then I luv libraries, so...
" could only hold on for a short time as
the tempo increased, his thrusts becoming more frantic, our voices in an erotic
crescendo, my hips instinctively moving to meet his.. Digging my fingernails into
his back, I could hear a low groan beginning in the depths of him, and his
muscles tighten perceptibly.. I was dizzy, near the edge, but knew he was
about to explode within me. With his final thrust, I tightened my legs around
him, dug my fingernails in, and squeezed the walls of my pussy around him. With
a load groan, he came, and the utter intensity of it drove me over the edge,
moaning in a low alto as my orgasm washed over me in waves.

He collapsed on me for a bit, and then rolled off, wiping sweat from his brow,
looking at the ceiling, much as I was doing myself.

We heard a polite throat clearing, and both of us jolted upright. The woman
from the circulation desk was standing there, obviously shocked. She
maintained a neutral quality in her voice amazingly well. "It is asked that you
remain quiet in the library, as other people are trying to read." She looked at us
again oddly, and left."

 

[XXplorher]

My Daughter Jenna pt2 (Anders)

"There was Jenna, just where I'd left her, bent over the couch, with her tight teen ass ticking out. But there, on top of her, fucking away, was the family dog, Rex. I hadn't been gone for two minutes and he was already buried deep inside of her, fucking like crazy. Jenna was moaning out loud as the animal pumped away wildly at her. I ran over to the couch and grabbed Rex - he growled at me as he kept up his thrusting. I pulled at his collar.

Jenna was practically screaming now, "Oh, Oh, Oh, Ahhhhh..." I couldn't believe what was going on. I jerked on Rex's collar hard and he yelped, still humping furiously. I kept pulling and eventually separated him from Jenna. I dragged the damn dog out the back door and locked it. I turned back toward the couch. Jenna was still there, her head was still on the couch, and I could see that she was breathing heavy. I moved quickly back over to her and knelt behind her. I slid on the condom and pushed my way back into her hole. I started fucking away again, grabbing her all over. She lay there quietly while I moved. I wondered about all the moaning earlier and I spoke for the first time. "Jenna, you don't seem too excited, baby."

She answered softly, "Daddy, you're so small - I can hardly feel it."

I didn't respond. I felt stupid. My cock started to go limp as I tried to keep pumping. I was so embarrassed. The dog had out fucked me. My brain started to short circuit. I stopped. I needed to get out of the room. "I love you, honey, " I said, as I pulled my pants back up and started walking toward my room, ashamed.

"Daddy," Jenna called.

"Yes, dear?" I answered, still walking away."

Her words followed me, "Can I get a pony?"

(Sorry Deb. You're funny - but THAT piece was classic.)