Being the Dom of a couple?

[morals_forgotte]

By the title, I dont mean being the Dom of more than one person but being the dom of two people in a relationship together. The idea has been in my head for some time but I dont fully see how it is fit into a pre-existing relationship and how the Dom is with both. I would appreciate if I could get the insight of those that have been in such a relationship as one of the people being dominated or as the Dom/domme themselves.

 

[morals_forgotte]

Bumped

 

[CrimsonDom]

?????

What are you trying to understand I am the Dom in a couple. Me and my wife.

 

[bibcat]

What are you trying to understand I am the Dom in a couple. Me and my wife.

I think the OP is asking how it would work for a Dom(me) to create a dynamic with an existing couple who are presumably both submissive.

 

[morals_forgotte]

I think the OP is asking how it would work for a Dom(me) to create a dynamic with an existing couple who are presumably both submissive.

Pretty much. I have been the dom in a couple but never OF a couple. I am just wondering how some dom(me)s handle a preexisting couple that were together before the dominant person came along.

 

[DVS]

By the title, I dont mean being the Dom of more than one person but being the dom of two people in a relationship together. The idea has been in my head for some time but I dont fully see how it is fit into a pre-existing relationship and how the Dom is with both. I would appreciate if I could get the insight of those that have been in such a relationship as one of the people being dominated or as the Dom/domme themselves.

You can't just start something without communication first. Both of you must be on the same page with this. True, one will have to be the dom or top, and the other will be the submissive or bottom.

It really doesn't matter which role you choose, but that's just a necessary part of the game. If you both prefer the submissive role, you might have to do some more talking to see if there is any top or dom inside of either of you. I think there is at least a little bit of dom in everybody. You just have to find it.

Once you find it, you can cultivate it. It doesn't take much to nurture it, but you do have to find it inside of you, first. Just playing the part is OK, but you will eventually get tired of doing that and the submissive's enjoyment will also suffer.

Read stories, investigate different areas of kink, to seek out the dom or top inside. It can just be a small little kink, but once you feel the part inside, you'll be able to play that role.

If you both really desire to be the submissive, maybe you both will need to do this investigation process. That way, you can switch off being the top. People who can switch between roles have the most fun, I think. The most difficult choice is deciding who's going to be the top and who's going to be the bottom. Sometimes, it can be extra fun, because you can get back at your partner for doing something extra kinky the night before, when it's your turn to be in charge.

But, before any of this can take place, you have to sit down and talk. Talk about what you both like, what you both want to have happen, and who's going to take what role. Decide what kinks you both like and look for a common ground where you both can enjoy sharing. It's not a difficult thing to do, if you are both into it. There is no wrong way, or right way. Just communicating and deciding what will work for you. From then on, let the fun begin!

 

[DVS]

Pretty much. I have been the dom in a couple but never OF a couple. I am just wondering how some dom(me)s handle a preexisting couple that were together before the dominant person came along.

Oh, I guess I should have read this post before I posted. It's still no different in many ways. Communication is always a necessary way to start. Talking out what each person wants to happen, and then deciding a loose method of how to proceed.

Find out what kinks are desired, if either party wants to be dominant to the other, or if both prefer to be very submissive. Sometimes, there is one member who has a more dominant sense than the other. If that's the case, discuss how or if they want to get into that kind of thing. You will still dominate them both, but you will command the more dominant partner to do things to the more submissive person in the couple. And, you can also suggest just the opposite, if they are willing to try that. Maybe they will be willing to try new things, when they know (1) it's with their wife or husband, and (2) they are being "forced" to do it by some third party.

Have them set limits and safe words and be sure to respect them. Trust is always necessary and if they can't trust you, it ain't going to happen. You must never break that trust.

But like in any relationship, communication comes first. You all need to get together and decide what's going to happen and what isn't. What they are willing to try and what they will NEVER try. Then, everybody have fun.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I have no experience with this. I am married, but not to my dominant. However, my husband is not submissive to my dominant partner.

However, I know that what you are looking for is not all that uncommon. I recommend you join Fetlife.com. Join a group specific to your needs. There is a group over there for everything imaginable.

 

[morals_forgotte]

Oddly enough, I posted this not for my own sake but out of curiosity since the idea seems kinda out there.

 

[DVS]

Oddly enough, I posted this not for my own sake but out of curiosity since the idea seems kinda out there.

I think you are a bit naive, if you think this is rare. While maybe uncommon, it is not that rare. Personally, I would love for a couple to come to me and ask me to dominate them as a couple. The options can be interesting.

I do understand how you might not see this as a normal thing though, but sometimes couples don't become aware of their inner sexual urges when they get married and sometimes both prefer to be submissive. Because neither wants to take on the dom role, they find an outside person to dom them both. It's just something that works for everybody concerned.

 

[morals_forgotte]

I think you are a bit naive, if you think this is rare. While maybe uncommon, it is not that rare. Personally, I would love for a couple to come to me and ask me to dominate them as a couple. The options can be interesting.

I do understand how you might not see this as a normal thing though, but sometimes couples don't become aware of their inner sexual urges when they get married and sometimes both prefer to be submissive. Because neither wants to take on the dom role, they find an outside person to dom them both. It's just something that works for everybody concerned.

Naive, maybe a little bit, but I personally haven't known, known of, or heard about many or that kind of relationship.