Beginning of story

[Rakknor]

Hello all. I'm new to posting on these forums, but not really new to the site, as I've been reading for some time now. I've written a lot of stories, on paper, and ideas for stories, or a comic, and I'm starting to type them up on my computer now.

I have a story that I'm trying to start off with. It is basically about an elite criminal that has a very nice house in the Carribbean Sea. He has women that serve him as his slaves.

I wanted to begin the story with him in his house and it being the morning. I have two ideas of how I want to start the story, but can't decide which would be a better way of starting it. Here they are:

1. Start with him sleeping in his bed and two of his slaves are "waking" him up by giving him a blowjob under his sheets.

2. He is sitting at his table, watching the sunrise, either reading a newspaper or watching the news on a TV while two of his slaves are giving him a blowjob.

I will make this into a poll so it will be easier for people to vote on it.

 

[Rakknor]

Ok, it has been a week since I posted this with almost 100 people viewing it, but, I have only gotten two votes on how to start the story. I know it doesn't take but a few seconds to choose one of the two choices that I have listed. I'd really like to see what people think would be a good way to start this story.

 

[_Lynn_]

How you start your story is up to you. If you don't have a clear idea of what to write, then drop the idea and move on to another. Asking others to decide the beginning tells me you don't have much confidence in your work.

I suggest writing both beginnings and see which one flows the best for you. Have fun and good luck.

 

[HeyAll]

I voted the second option. It shows his 'power' over them, if you want to call it that. It would be even hotter if he's talking to someone important on the phone. Perhaps his partner or his boss?

 

[sr71plt]

I agree with Mistress Lynn on this. This is a decision that's integral to the writing/creation process. I don't have the interest in writing by committee. Either of those openings could work.

 

[Derroreaper]

To put it bluntly, its your story, you tell us what happened. If you let the forum decide, you'll never write your story, you'll right the majority opinion, which will lead in a zillion different directions.

I didn't vote because the truth is, either one will work just fine. In fact I'd use both, just at different times in the story. They have a standing order, "Morning wood gets taken care of first," lol.

 

[PennLady]

I agree with the others who've said you can't write by committee. I would suggest that whatever you want to happen after the first scene might dictate how the first scene should go.

 

[lovecraft68]

Like the others, I'm going to say that you have to write it the way it comes to you, otherwise this is not going to work.

What I would do if I were you is what I do for my stuff when I'm torn. Go to bed thinking about the scene. when you wake up the first one that hits you is the right one. Let the story take you, not the other way around.

But if you're looking for an opinion I'll give you my two cents (and that's about what its worth)

If I had to render an opinion on your options I don't care for the second one. I mean reading a newspaper while getting blown? I know doms need to exude indifference to a slaves efforts at times, but let's get real.

I'll toss an option that came to my mind when considering your character. I'd have him wake up with one slave in his bed. The one that had the pleasure of serving him last night. Perhaps she wakes him up blowing him, but as she is a second one enters the room and announces he's running late and she has readied his shower.

They then both go into the shower and service/wash him. For me that would be an interesting beginning to fit your premise.

But like everyone else is saying its your baby, your way.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

The story idea is great. Let us know when it's posted. I'd love to read it.