Begging to get flamed

S

ShamelessFlirt

Guest
(I have a feeling Muffins skin is crawling as I type this)



How To Write Good

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary.

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.

11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. Be more or less specific.

15. Understatement is always best.

16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

18. The passive voice is to be avoided.

19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

21. Who needs rhetorical questions?

22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
 
Jeez!

I learnt all those in school. :(

Damn, if I'm not careful, you'll be doing the "rules" thing on my posts, also! :D
 
Flirt, when I get to NYC I'm going to smack you repeatedly.
 
hatara said:
LOL Ok does this mean that I can never post again?;) :devil:

Post all you want on my threads.

I don't grade spelling :D
 
Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

What about Furriners? ;)
 
Re: Begging

Those rules are good for writing, but probably shoudn't apply to posting, which is much less formal. Posting is a written communication, and you may have noticed that speech rarely follows good grammar rules. ;)
 
Re: Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

Jimi6996 said:
What about Furriners? ;)


The more the merrier.

Might I suggest not posting with those funky 3D glasses though. They'll ruin your eyes.
 
Re: Re: Begging

amiss said:
Those rules are good for writing, but probably shoudn't apply to posting, which is much less formal. Posting is a written communication, and you may have noticed that speech rarely follows good grammar rules. ;)

Even up here, Eh? :devil:
 
Re: Re: Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

ShamelessFlirt said:



The more the merrier.

Might I suggest not posting with those funky 3D glasses though. They'll ruin your eyes.

I like to be "merry", but i'm told if i don't stop it, I WILL go blind. ;)
 
Re: Re: Re: Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

Jimi6996 said:


I like to be "merry", but i'm told if i don't stop it, I WILL go blind. ;)

It's OK as long as you catch it before the hair on your palms starts growing
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

ShamelessFlirt said:


It's OK as long as you catch it before the hair on your palms starts growing

Nah... dry lube. :p
 
Re: Re: Begging

amiss said:
Those rules are good for writing, but probably shoudn't apply to posting, which is much less formal. Posting is a written communication, and you may have noticed that speech rarely follows good grammar rules. ;)

I ain't never noticed that none.:rolleyes:
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Am I OK to post, Bro. 'Flirt?

Jimi6996 said:


Nah... dry lube. :p

When did they invent one that prevents blindness???
 
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