PrincessErin
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2008
- Posts
- 1,351
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Begging for Votes and Comments
- Thread starter PrincessErin
- Start date
AverageBear
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Posts
- 24
Erin,
I took your request to heart and was glad I did. I posted a public comment, as follows:
"You have a knack for making the reader care about your characters, and a keen eye for details that draw the reader into the story. I truly enjoyed it - and look forward to reading more."
My only suggestion for improvement (and it's a minor one) is to make sure to use "than" rather than "then" when comparing one alternative to another. A niggling little detail like that can be distracting, especially when it happens more than once.
Other than that (and yes, I admit it, I'm a little "retentive"), it was a highly compelling story. You have me wanting Paige and Peter get back together (although life isn't always like that). Whatever you do in the next installment, have Paige get the hell away from the abusive current boyfriend (yeah, yeah, life isn't always like that either, but it should be!).
Lots of kudos and respect from your fellow Canuck... AverageBear
I took your request to heart and was glad I did. I posted a public comment, as follows:
"You have a knack for making the reader care about your characters, and a keen eye for details that draw the reader into the story. I truly enjoyed it - and look forward to reading more."
My only suggestion for improvement (and it's a minor one) is to make sure to use "than" rather than "then" when comparing one alternative to another. A niggling little detail like that can be distracting, especially when it happens more than once.
Other than that (and yes, I admit it, I'm a little "retentive"), it was a highly compelling story. You have me wanting Paige and Peter get back together (although life isn't always like that). Whatever you do in the next installment, have Paige get the hell away from the abusive current boyfriend (yeah, yeah, life isn't always like that either, but it should be!).
Lots of kudos and respect from your fellow Canuck... AverageBear
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