Bedtime With Thing 1 and Thing 2

[Bob Peale]

Apparently, things (no pun intended) just weren't interesting enough with my illustrious progeny - they decided to ensure that they end up in boarding school by three.

First off, Thing 2 has decided that he no longer needs a nap. Thing 1 tried this also, but the child has no stamina - put on a PBS documentary and he's out like a light.

But not his brother; oh no.

The first day, apparently Thing 2 managed to wake Thing 1 up long enough to solicit his help in redecorating their room. From what we have been able to piece together, one anchored the other to the side of the crib so that said child could remove the wallpaper border frpm the wall. Not content to stop there, they then proceeded to climb up on the dresser and separate the backs from all the picture farmes hanging on that wall.

When I got home, my wife said simply, "They are the devil."

Day two, after the discovery of the PBS antidote, Thing 2 decided that maybe my wife wasn't "getting it". So he pried up the heating register and began dropping legos into the heating and air conditioning duct until he was liberated.

Day three, my wife thought, "Maybe we'll just go out back until he tires." I found her, at 5:00pm, sprawled on the lounge chair with young Master Thing doing cartwheels off the top of his Little Tikes truck.

Needless to say, he no longer naps.

Not to be outdone, Thing 1 has decided that his blanket is no longer acceptable to sleep with.

Because it has ducks on it.

And the ducks have eyes.

And they keep looking at him.

 

[morninggirl5]

Have you considered bringing out the big guns at naptime.... Snow White?


Thanks for the update.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Ain't parenthood grand. My cute three year old (the youngest of 4) is the anti-christ. If it's garaunteed not to break she can demolish it. If the other kids are playing quietly, she can have them in riot mode in about 2.5 seconds. As for re-decorating... it was her duty to turn our freshly wallpapered study into her personal art gallery the day after I finished hanging the paper. LOL

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Manu]

Post 177?

Hi Bob!

I thought you'd already sent the little ones off to boarding school?

Did you chicken out last time and give them "one more chance" again?

Tell them there are no ducks at boarding school and maybe they'll want to go!

Hope the rascals are well!

 

[Summery]

Lmao! The adventures of Thing 1 and Thing 2 continue.....Obviously never a dull moment in your house!

Sounds familiar. Only in my house, I only have 1 child. But at times I would sware he has a twin hidden somewhere!

 

[Wanderer D]

Lol, that was entirely too funny, Bob.

 

[Gilly Bean]

That sounds entirly way to much like my youngest. (Grr.. not going to be the youngest for long). He turns 3 in January. He decided when he was just over a year that the crib was not needed, or wanted. Put him in it, turn out the lights, before we made it the 3 steps from his door to ours, he was opening it, and saying, MOVIE!!!


Walls... well, let's say that condiments, makeup, crayons, paint, pens, markers, pencils, chalk, and any liquid can make pretty paintings. Some day, he is going to become a famous artist, and we are going to say, We knew him when his canvas was our walls...

Today... Today was one of those days when I threatened to sell him to the mexicans. Cheaply. Put his coat on, to go get daddy at work. Turn around, get daughters coat on. Turn back around, put Chris's coat BACK on. Rinse, lather, repeat 3 times. Finally, get him out the door, and he walks to the car. Then, won't get in the car. Take his hand, go to pull him to the door. He flops down, and refuses to stand up. So, I told her, alright, Mommy is leaving. Got in the car, got daughter in the car. Waited a moment. Then, finally, heard Mommy! So, I get back out, and go to grab him. He is still laying on the ground.

Then, he starts to giggle, and point at the sky. Clouds, mommy! Clouds! Mutter, scream, threaten, finally bend over, and pick him up and put him forcibly in the car seat. Got that much done, and he started screeching the instant he got in, and kept doing it till we picked daddy up. At which point, I said YOUR son is YOURS tonight!

 

[Mistress]

LMAO!

Oh how I envy you

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Yep, I can't wait till I'm a grandparent and then I can turn to my kids and laugh my head off and say, "What makes you think you were so *%$#@ perfect when you were that age!" lol.

 

[fgarvb1]

by the mother of fgarvb1: "you have not lived untill you have raised three boys."

from the father of fgarvb1, with his hair standing on end, face turning colors, heart racing, the house seemed to be still shaking as he ran out the back door, shaking fist clenched over his head: "you goddamned long haired little sons-of-a-bitches What are you doing Now.?"

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

My daughter was a comparative angel - until she turned fifteen, at which point her fave antic was sneeaking off with boys to Portland to attend showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, at midnight of course. I never did learn if she went in costume or not.

Still, relatively mild - although those antics drove her mother crazy (but then my ex didn't have far to go ).

Now at 27 she wants to give me grandkids, and all I can do is smile.

 

[Rubyfruit]

...Only in my house, I only have 1 child. But at times I would sware he has a twin hidden somewhere!

With twins, you swear there are at least 4 of them. My twins decend upon a room like a swarm of locusts and do just about as much damage!

_______


Bob,

Thanks for this hysterical installment of the adventures of Thing 1 and Thing 2. Boy can I relate to your wife!

Ruby

p.s. sorry I missed your IM earlier - my Son had taken over the computer.

 

[Shylady]

OMG Bob you are too funny.

Your wife needs some kind huge reward.

 

[Guest]

Bob,

I read your post while drinking a cup of tea....not a good choice I must say. lol

I could actually picture everything you wrote about even though I only have one son.

I'm still laughing.....what a way to start my morning. I did need that laugh as my son is having hernia surgery this afternoon. He's handling it fine, I'm not. Apparently, he tried to lift his 237 lb. friend - my son only weighs 160 lbs. Do you think he'll learn a lesson from all of this? Nope, I truly doubt it.

LOL

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

this is were I say ....Look what I have to look forward too

Well bob I sure will keep you in mind when little roo manages to come out... He has been active the whole pregnancy ..I will not be surprised if roo is not active if and when he gets out of mommys tummy


have a safe and undemolished christmas with thing1and 2

NSW

 

[Scabbers]

Fair play to yis

Not to be outdone, Thing 1 has decided that his blanket is no longer acceptable to sleep with.

Because it has ducks on it.

And the ducks have eyes.

And they keep looking at him.

Either this one needs professional help, or he's bound for a career in politics (or both)

 

[Beebeeblue]

My sympathies to your Mrs. Getting a 3yr old to nap is impossible. My daughter just turned 3 a few wks ago, and since the daycare doesnt make her nap, getting one at home is impossible.

BUT there is hope.........try this:

I set a kitchen timer and let her know that when the timer goes 'ding' she can get out of bed. Then she gets to either watch a movie, or listen to her music. BUT if she gets out of bed, the deal is off, no music. No movie.

Hey it works in my house.

 

[Georgia Girl]

As a single parent I can only say that I am happy I only have one child. On his own he can bring me close to insanity at times.

His most recent achievement was trying to fly just like Buzz Lightyear. He is 4 now, stuck out his little arms and off the bed he went (bed is 3.5 ft high) straight onto the heart pine floor. When he didn't fly that time he decided he needed to get higher so out the door he goes and does the same number off a hay bale (6 ft high). At least that time he landed in the mud which was softer. My ex (fucking idiot that he is) watched as my son did all of this.

Have a merry Christmas with your things as I will with mine. Regardless of everything else, they are our hearts and can bring us such joy.

 

[Weird Harold]

My sympathies to your Mrs. Getting a 3yr old to nap is impossible. My daughter just turned 3 a few wks ago, and since the daycare doesnt make her nap, getting one at home is impossible.

BUT there is hope.........try this:
...

Kitchen timers are nice for timing quiet times, but my granddaughter (the four-year-old) is very grumpy if she's awakend before she's ready to wake up. (must be hereditary -- Mom and Grandpa are the same way.)

The trick that works for me is "Pretend to take a nap for me." If you can get them to pretend to nap they will almost always fall asleep for real. If they don't fall asleep, then the quiet time of pretending is as good for them (and the parents) as if they did take a nap.

 

[lillend]

I have three boys, but they are all school age now, YAY! Anyhow, that means I get a nice break from them which I definately need! My boyfriend has a two year old though....and she gets into plenty of trouble. Her favorite thing lately has been playing in the toilet. I have to run her out of the bathroom several times a day. She splashes in the toilet. She gets a cup...fills it with toilet water and dumps into into the kitty litter box. She has even drank toilet water. I have yet to figure out a way to keep her out of there. We even bought a child lock thing that goes on the toilet....it broke withing the first 5 minutes of having it on there. Oh well...I guess she will eventually grow out of it. Kids grow up, and to think someday I'll miss all this .

 

[Never]

Weird Harold:
"The trick that works for me is "Pretend to take a nap for me." If you can get them to pretend to nap they will almost always fall asleep for real."

Wait. I sense great potential here.

Weird Harold, pretend to give me a fifty.
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
This meaningless post brought to you by the ducks, they have eyes!
And they eyes, they look!
And they're looking at YOU!

 

[Weird Harold]

Wait. I sense great potential here.

Weird Harold, pretend to give me a fifty.[/B]

Sure thing -- Just as soon as you pretend to make mad passionate love to me.

 

[Bob Peale]

*bum*

Finally Thing resurrection

 

[Ginny]

<tickled>......i think the Things are very lucky lil boys....your sense of humor about it....i know the horror while it's happening.....but mann.....this stuff is hilarious.....