Becoming a future Dom

[kingem125]

So does anyone know of any good resources containing info/ knowledge nessicary for becoming a good Dom..... Also where in the us could I go to get trained on how to use a whip or get trained to be a Dom.... Because I live 30 minutes outside of Nashville Tennessee....

I have thought that if I met someone online or what ever for a play session I would keep my self protected with a knife bb gun and mace..... Also I would in the future when i get my own place, get some kind of a doll and maybe to practice tying it up and what ever....I would also set up a room with only a bed or an air mattress in it and some wooden chests or a closet full of bdsm play stuff like,utensils, lubes,whips,crops,padles,rods/cains,clamps, suction devices, rope, homade stuff,sex toys,creams,lubes,duct tape,fetish clothing,restraints,props...etc. also in this room there would be a tv and some kind of radio in there..the radio would be mP3 player compatible...I would also put some other bdsm furniture/ large restraints in this room...also I was thinking I would make a multiple choice check off sheet i would check off as I talk to the person before our session.... I would ask about what they want me to use,what I can do,what there into, how sexual it would be,what are no no zones, what I can or on certain area of the body, how naked they want me to be,what concerns they have, allergies they have, any medical conditions they have, what they want the 2 safe words they want are...and etc......By the two safe words I mean the stop word and the let's talk and adjust and/or stop and rest word......also i would figure out how much pain they could handle before we begAn... Also I think that my absolute never changing conditions are, no vomit, no needles,actual blood, no fecial matter,no cutting,no peircing... Also the sub would have to wash there hands before and after a session... Also I would want a hug after each session from the sub.......

Also so far I have tried some of the "bdsm sensations" on my self and I have been a sub in the only one session I have had so far....I think i would be either a set Dom or a switch but mostly Dom......I Think I would try and sub a little bit so I can gain knowledge about topping........

 

[rosco rathbone]

bb gun....practice doll......abduction rape room.....r u effing with us homie??

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Dood! Have you not previously received comments on the "wall o' text" writing style? Or was that another relatively new poster here?

Regardless of that, PLEASE:

• Break your commentary into reasonably readable paragraphs. Two or three sentences. (Yeah, I know, you write more sentence fragments than sentences, but still...)
• Get off the every fifth word (it seems) elisions (these things: ...).
• Organize your writing. Keep related items together, and unrelated items apart.
• Put spaces between words. (When you use a comma to separate items in a list/group, put a space between the comma and the next word.)

Did you post the above while on methamphetamines or something? You go on and on and on in that middle paragraph, changing topics more often than ... I don't know what. Too often, anyway.

And huh, what?

I would keep my self protected with a knife bb gun and mace

Where the hell did that come from? If you're that concerned about your personal safety in meeting someone, don't freaking meet them! If you're just normally concerned (which everyone should be on the first few meets), set up normal safety procedures, including safe calls, etc. If you're not sure what normal safety procedures *are,* trying going through the Library.

Please go back into your original post and edit it to make it more readable and more coherent in its individual parts, and then someone with patience - maybe even I - will be willing and able to respond to the questions you have.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

bb gun....practice doll......abduction rape room.....r u effing with us homie??

Abduction rape room? Where was that? Did I miss something important in the wall o' text?

 

[Kojote]

Abduction rape room? Where was that? Did I miss something important in the wall o' text?

He just summed up the room description.
And I tend to agree...
Mind the... mace.
(Do I get that right? Is he talking about the 'heavy club with iron head' type of thing?)

 

[JMohegan]

So does anyone know of any good resources containing info/ knowledge nessicary for becoming a good Dom

Do what comes naturally. That's my advice.

For technical training in whips or whatever, google "BDSM workshops" in your neck of the woods.

Enthusiasm is good; focus is better. The difference between a 14 year old kid with dreams of a bachelor pad and an adult who's getting regular quality ass is a lot of non-sexy hard work and planning.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Mind the... mace.
(Do I get that right? Is he talking about the 'heavy club with iron head' type of thing?)

I think (pretty sure) that he's talking about the chemical self-defense weapon, aka pepper spray. The BB gun part was actually kind of amusing, though. Really? A BB gun? Why not a .40 cal S&W?

 

[Kojote]

I think (pretty sure) that he's talking about the chemical self-defense weapon, aka pepper spray. The BB gun part was actually kind of amusing, though. Really? A BB gun? Why not a .40 cal S&W?

Uh... In that case the only amusing (though unsettling) part of his post has recently vanished...
What's left is the feeling that a person he is going to meet could use your .40 advice...

 

[Loverskitten]

I think (pretty sure) that he's talking about the chemical self-defense weapon, aka pepper spray. The BB gun part was actually kind of amusing, though. Really? A BB gun? Why not a .40 cal S&W?

Because you have to be of legal age to get a real gun, silly.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The difference between a 14 year old kid with dreams of a bachelor pad and an adult who's getting regular quality ass is a lot of non-sexy hard work and planning.

Write that down, youths.

You've got to work it regular like a 9-5 job.

 

[kingem125]

I was saying the gun thing because you never know who you will meet via the Internet....

 

[Stella_Omega]

I was saying the gun thing because you never know who you will meet via the Internet....

you can bet they're thinking the same thing about you.

How old are you?

 

[kingem125]

I'm 18 yrs old.........

 

[Kojote]

I'm 18 yrs old.........

When?
2014? Or the year after?

But honestly (and regardless of age)...
I get the impression that the best advice to give you would be:
Start having jsut your ordinary vanilla sex and then progress to getting kinky.
But don't forget to learn some things about girls on the way. Never hurts. And take your time to learn something about yourself.
That may in fact hurt a bit, but that's okay for no one is perfect. And it's always good to keep that in mind about oneself.

Find out what gets you going (not thinking about but actually doing it) and find out what gets other people going. And then start doing what comes naturally like JMohegan said.
Don't rush that...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Almost eighteen, I'm betting. In only three, four years.

Look, instead of thinking about becoming a Dom-- learn to make love with other people. This can include bondage, or impact, or dirty talk, a million kinky things. But it includes conversation, communication, and using your fucking brain. Ive been seeing a lot of enthusiasm from you, but nothing that looks like thinking. You want us to hand you everything on a plate, but you don't even know what you're asking about.

(jinx Kojote!)

 

[kingem125]

Stella your 80% right I don't totally know what I'm asking a
Question about...but i have some what of an idea...but it's better to know some what before you just go and make a fool of your self or what ever.... Also it's better to know where to start then waste time on a wild goose chase....

 

[CutieMouse]

I was saying the gun thing because you never know who you will meet via the Internet....

If you're paranoid enough to take a bb gun on a date (to protect yourself), you have no business dating.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Stella your 80% right I don't totally know what I'm asking a Question about...but i have some what of an idea...but it's better to know some what before you just go and make a fool of your self or what ever.... Also it's better to know where to start then waste time on a wild goose chase....

I'm telling you this: where you start is at the basics.

Not the fancy clothes, not the utensils, not the whips and shit-- which cost a fucktard lot of money, by the way--

You start by learning to simply be good with your partners. You learn how to get what you want and give what they want. You need to learn how to fuck, how to kiss, how to eat pussy and maybe dick if you're bi, how to enjoy getting your dick sucked, how to love your asshole.

And you learn to wear a condom while you're doing it, thank you. No babies, no diseases. No excuses.

Give yourself a couple years kid, you've got at least fifty ahead of you, in which you can keep doing this stuff.

here's a book you should read in the meantime;
The guide to getting it on

Once you've gotten through with that, you can start on some of these;

Screw the roses, send me the thorns

The new bottoming book

The New Topping Book


And then try this one:

Sensuous magic

And THEN you'll know what questions you need to ask.

How's that sound?

 

[JMohegan]

You can't practice fucking until someone gives you access. Step 1 = becoming someone to whom people want to grant it.

Get a reasonably fit, healthy body and work to keep it. Practice adequate personal grooming. Develop non-sex-related knowledge, skills, and achievements in your areas of interest.

You don't have to be a rock star, rich guy, or pro athlete. You do have to be sexually appealing to your targets.

Then quit hiding behind your computer. Get out there and explore real life.

I agree in general with Stella's advice. I'll just add: Steer clear of jailbait.

 

[Kojote]

I'm telling you this: where you start is at the basics.

Not the fancy clothes, not the utensils, not the whips and shit-- which cost a fucktard lot of money, by the way--

You start by learning to simply be good with your partners. You learn how to get what you want and give what they want. You need to learn how to fuck, how to kiss, how to eat pussy and maybe dick if you're bi, how to enjoy getting your dick sucked, how to love your asshole.

And you learn to wear a condom while you're doing it, thank you. No babies, no diseases. No excuses.

Give yourself a couple years kid, you've got at least fifty ahead of you, in which you can keep doing this stuff.

That!
(And... dude... Don't even worry about missing something, because the fun doesn't even start before you are thirtysomething. Al before is practise and training. )

You can't practice fucking until someone gives you access. Step 1 = becoming someone to whom people want to grant it.

Get a reasonably fit, healthy body and work to keep it. Practice adequate personal grooming. Develop non-sex-related knowledge, skills, and achievements in your areas of interest.

You don't have to be a rock star, rich guy, or pro athlete. You do have to be sexually appealing to your targets.

Then quit hiding behind your computer. Get out there and explore real life.

I agree in general with Stella's advice. I'll just add: Steer clear of jailbait.

And THAT!
Seriously.
Become somebody women like to have around. Not only to talk, but for everything.
Things WILL come naturally from there on. Sometimes without even doing anything than 'being oneself'.

You don't even have to 'fill the norms' or whatever this is called in your language colloquially. You don’t have to be the gorgeous guy out of a wet dream. More often than not you even don’t have to be ‘attractive’ in the usual way.
You don’t need the perfect looks. You need confidence and intelligence and humor. Health doesn’t hurt. Neither does fitness. But they aren’t a prerequisite if you have the former things.

Learn talking to women (even complete strangers) until they actually enjoy it. And then progress to finding out what gets them going and brings them to think about going a step further.

But (even if that sounds lame) be honest. Don’t lie to get laid. They will eventually find out and tell their friends and so on. And nobody will believe you anymore, when you finally quit lying.
Truthfulness might cost you a fuck or three, but you’ll get that investment back in the end. With interest.

(jinx Kojote!)

I love when that happens. Means I didn't say complete bullshit...

 

[kingem125]

I was watching a video called bondage beginnings or something like that, on YouTube.her youtube username is thevelveteenblue... I will use what people on here sugguested and will continue to sugguest and what she said....

 

[Stella_Omega]

Man I detest getting sucked into the mothering role, but your response is awfully familiar to anyone who's talked to teenagers.

What exactly did people suggest? Which parts do you think you'll follow?

(also, those of you who decry the old guard "learn to top by bottoming" method? This here is why. )

 

[JMohegan]

Stella, he's not gonna come out and say, "Yeah, you're right, I'm a schlub living in my parents' house who's never so much as diddled a nipple. Thanks for the tips guys, I'll get right on it."

Assuming he is who he says he is (and not some alt jerking our chains here), he'll either:

1 - ignore all the advice that sounds like work and scary talking to real-life female stuff, and stay wrapped up in his internet wanderings and elaborate fantasies;

or 2 - think about this for a while, make a plan, and find the stones to take a few steps in the right direction.

 

[Salenku]

Darling, I'm with Stella on this. You need to be adult enough to make sure that what you plan to do, you will do responsibly. This includes safer sex, and meeting others in a safe(er) environment, where somebody knows your whereabouts.

How would you feel if we got on on the internet, and when I met you, I was brandishing pepper spray or a gun (of any kind)?! Would it occur to you that I could have one of my own and be more adept at using it than you? Would YOU feel safe? I think not. Would you trust me? Not likely. That's no way to play. As I understand it, most BDSM relationships are about BUILDING trust to push boundaries, not scaring potential partners away! Do as much research as you can before hand, and meet in a public place.

Think on it for a while, sweetie, and let us know when you've worked out this stuff... The world will still be here, there's no rush. Enjoy the journey (safely, and hopefully without non-consensual violence).

PS, Stella, the more I see of your posts, the more I respect you. *bows*

 

[Kojote]

or 2 - think about this for a while, make a plan, and find the stones to take a few steps in the right direction.

That's what this is about, isn't it?

PS, Stella, the more I see of your posts, the more I respect you. *bows*

Been there and felt exactly that. Now I'm up for adoption as a nephew (but Bi-Bunny has to be first).