BDSM vs SSC
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legerdemer
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SSC - safe, sane and consensual
It's one of the basic "codes of conduct" of any BDSM transaction. Or RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I'd suggest wondering over to the BDSM fora for more enlightenment.
It's one of the basic "codes of conduct" of any BDSM transaction. Or RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I'd suggest wondering over to the BDSM fora for more enlightenment.
lovecraft68
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Yup, safe sane and consensual and if you received that remark my thought is the reader felt the boundaries were over stepped in someway.
Not surprised, half of what is posted in BDSM is actually rape porn written by either the clueless or the people who know they are writing non con, but trying to avoid the trolls there and stigma that category can bring.
Sorry, but not knowing what SSC is leaves me doubting how much actual knowledge you have, its a very common acronym in that lifestyle, regardless of what country its 'practiced' in.
But now that you know, perhaps that comment will mean more and you'll take a closer look at what you write and whether it is or is not SSC. Because maybe it is and the reader didn't interpret it the way you intended.
Course on a site like this, you will get more praise then criticism for not being SSC, this is lit and th real men have over run the BDSM category to the point femdom has to be placed in fetish or the authors are flamed heavily.
BDSM lit style(and other sites similar) stands for 'show that bitch her place' and its not rape if the woman has to call her rapist master or sir.
Not surprised, half of what is posted in BDSM is actually rape porn written by either the clueless or the people who know they are writing non con, but trying to avoid the trolls there and stigma that category can bring.
Sorry, but not knowing what SSC is leaves me doubting how much actual knowledge you have, its a very common acronym in that lifestyle, regardless of what country its 'practiced' in.
But now that you know, perhaps that comment will mean more and you'll take a closer look at what you write and whether it is or is not SSC. Because maybe it is and the reader didn't interpret it the way you intended.
Course on a site like this, you will get more praise then criticism for not being SSC, this is lit and th real men have over run the BDSM category to the point femdom has to be placed in fetish or the authors are flamed heavily.
BDSM lit style(and other sites similar) stands for 'show that bitch her place' and its not rape if the woman has to call her rapist master or sir.
H
HandsInTheDark
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Though in fairness I skimmed the first couple pages of the story and the commenter wasn't unfair - this story is much better off in nonconsent.
Bramblethorn
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So, within the original poster's universe, Justine and Juliette would not be considered BDSM novelsinteresting.
I'm not the commenter but I'd agree with that statement.
They are certainly relevant to BDSM, fodder for some people's fantasies, but what they depict isn't BDSM as the subculture would describe it.
sr71plt
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Why should some subculture be given the power to define it? If you tie someone up, you have bondage; if someone takes a submissive role to someone else, that someone else is being dominant; if someone is being hurt mentally or physically the one providing the hurt is into sadism and the one receiving it is into masochism. You can put elements of that into your story--your characters don't even have to do "right" by anyone's rule for it to be an element of BDSM in your story. There's no club that defines when elements of B, D, S, and/or M are in your story.
If they downrate your story for not following their rules, flip them the bird. Chances are it will arouse them.
Bramblethorn
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Yep. I also know that language evolves, and that just because something's named after a person doesn't mean it simply reflects that person's views (c.f. Karl Marx's "if that's Marxism, I'm not a Marxist", or compare "social Darwinism" to Darwin's actual positions), and that terms of art often have a meaning that's not merely the sum of their parts. Categorizing a story as "BDSM" because it features dictionary-definition sadism is about as reliable as posting it to Gay Male because it features a man who's happy.
(BTW, his correct surname is "de Sade".)
Given that you only discovered the term a few hours ago, perhaps not quite time yet to be explaining its meaning to people who have rather more familiarity with it?
Stories here are categorised according to what they describe, not by how they're going to be read. Otherwise 90% of everything would be in the "masturbation" section.
That sounds like a good plan.
Desiremakesmeweak
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Yeah this is one of my pet hates. Bring on the Thermonukes, I guess.
I have a strong objection to this modern art of studious ignorance.
I'm afraid I'm with the OP on this, even though I haven't yet read their story - which I will.
The modern art of ignorance lies in its tendency to assert things broadly or narrowly defined, whichever one whenever it suits itself, and to maintain loudly and long to all who will listen and to many who are compelled to - that it knows what it is talking about and must be obeyed at all times. And these are the same people who have the hide to decry dogma...
And the most amazing thing of all, to me, is that these same people insist they are the only ones who can define - being gay, being lesbian, being 'something-else' - and that every sexual behaviour is already set in stone, that is, of course, in the cultural Stone Age of their own limited minds.
They know everything of course. They know it all, have seen it all, and are so, so, so-o-o-o adventurous and transgressional in their personal sexual lives.
The next University doctorate or professor opining on some media outlet somewhere ought to be told directly - as they usually are not - that they are actually quite physically ugly, and would never be allowed near anyone with any real sexual experiences of the kind they want to talk about. Little kids. And bullshit artists, the lot of them. And many of them are outright lunatics as well.
I have a strong objection to this modern art of studious ignorance.
I'm afraid I'm with the OP on this, even though I haven't yet read their story - which I will.
The modern art of ignorance lies in its tendency to assert things broadly or narrowly defined, whichever one whenever it suits itself, and to maintain loudly and long to all who will listen and to many who are compelled to - that it knows what it is talking about and must be obeyed at all times. And these are the same people who have the hide to decry dogma...
And the most amazing thing of all, to me, is that these same people insist they are the only ones who can define - being gay, being lesbian, being 'something-else' - and that every sexual behaviour is already set in stone, that is, of course, in the cultural Stone Age of their own limited minds.
They know everything of course. They know it all, have seen it all, and are so, so, so-o-o-o adventurous and transgressional in their personal sexual lives.
The next University doctorate or professor opining on some media outlet somewhere ought to be told directly - as they usually are not - that they are actually quite physically ugly, and would never be allowed near anyone with any real sexual experiences of the kind they want to talk about. Little kids. And bullshit artists, the lot of them. And many of them are outright lunatics as well.
H
HandsInTheDark
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It amuses me that I picked Croatian because I thought it unlikely that anyone would call me out on a bad translation, and it happened anyway.
And you're welcome.
And threads in this forum go thermonuclear fairly often, though I think it's gotten quieter since the moderator appeared and made it obvious that threads would get trimmed when things got hostile. But your post didn't set off anything unusual. There's an Ignore feature you can use when people get too obnoxious.
Desiremakesmeweak
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What did I think after I had read it? Well it's heavily focussed on sexual sadism. It should be where it is.
And it's pretty good. Has some Eastern Euro authenticity about it, too...
And it's pretty good. Has some Eastern Euro authenticity about it, too...
Carnal_Flower
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Every time I see it referenced in studies, its Sade.
Same with Leonardo. You do NOT say Da Vinci or Vinci. Its just Leonardo.
QUOTE=alamoana;75938084]This is fun! You could tell I am new to this board.
>>> (BTW, his correct surname is "de Sade".)
De Sade means "Of Sade", that is, "Son of Sade", which was not even his real last name (surname François). His nobel title was know as the "Sade family". That's why you don't call the sadism "desadism" Source: French is my third language. Spent years there.
>>> Given that you only discovered the term a few hours ago...
I discovered a few hours ago what the abbreviation means in English, yes. But go ahead, don't let me stop you
Cheers,
Ala Moana[/QUOTE]
Same with Leonardo. You do NOT say Da Vinci or Vinci. Its just Leonardo.
QUOTE=alamoana;75938084]This is fun! You could tell I am new to this board.
>>> (BTW, his correct surname is "de Sade".)
De Sade means "Of Sade", that is, "Son of Sade", which was not even his real last name (surname François). His nobel title was know as the "Sade family". That's why you don't call the sadism "desadism"
Source: French is my third language. Spent years there.>>> Given that you only discovered the term a few hours ago...
I discovered a few hours ago what the abbreviation means in English, yes. But go ahead, don't let me stop you
Cheers,
Ala Moana[/QUOTE]
Bramblethorn
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>>> (BTW, his correct surname is "de Sade".)
De Sade means "Of Sade", that is, "Son of Sade", which was not even his real last name (surname François). His nobel title was know as the "Sade family". That's why you don't call the sadism "desadism"
His Britannica article, written by the French author Maurice Nadeau who edited a collection of his works, refers to him consistently as "de Sade".
This Guardian article written by Neil Schaeffer - who's published a biography of the man - also refers to him as "de Sade".
Bloch's Marquis de Sade: His Life and Works also uses "de Sade".
You may well be right in saying that the French usage is just "Sade", but English isn't very reliable about respecting other languages' conventions.
Well, not unless you're Dan Brown. But "da Vinci" isn't an exact parallel for "de Sade".
lovecraft68
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One thing to note is the "SS" varies on each person.
My safe and sane may not be another person's definition, we all have different limits in different things.
The important thing where SS comes into play is to discuss the boundaries with your partner to make sure all is agreed upon and there is no nasty surprises and ugliness.
Again this is how its done when its done right, not 'okay bitch, you're a sub so just fucking take what I give you" which would be a five star line here.
But consensual is never up for debate. Well it wasn't until people like mister legalized rape started forming a faction saying consent is not necessary.
If there is no consent, its rape, not BDSM.
Making this tougher here is we have an owner that tries to declare they have a stance on rape, yet has a non con section and does nothing to enforce her own rule. Once in a while a rape story will get the boot, but that's after 20 went through,
So again discussing this on a site like this is far different than in a real setting. Internet anonymity also grants people the ability to openly talk about how rape should be legal and women all want to be raped without risking the consequences that line would get one in public.
My safe and sane may not be another person's definition, we all have different limits in different things.
The important thing where SS comes into play is to discuss the boundaries with your partner to make sure all is agreed upon and there is no nasty surprises and ugliness.
Again this is how its done when its done right, not 'okay bitch, you're a sub so just fucking take what I give you" which would be a five star line here.
But consensual is never up for debate. Well it wasn't until people like mister legalized rape started forming a faction saying consent is not necessary.
If there is no consent, its rape, not BDSM.
Making this tougher here is we have an owner that tries to declare they have a stance on rape, yet has a non con section and does nothing to enforce her own rule. Once in a while a rape story will get the boot, but that's after 20 went through,
So again discussing this on a site like this is far different than in a real setting. Internet anonymity also grants people the ability to openly talk about how rape should be legal and women all want to be raped without risking the consequences that line would get one in public.
Carnal_Flower
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Well I don't think "the" French usage is a given. I tend to see it singularly in French writers, scholars of French lit, and other academic writing (that I know of).
I think it's safe to say our original "This is the way it is" is probably not correct.
I think it's safe to say our original "This is the way it is" is probably not correct.
sr71plt
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For anyone interested in the U.S. publishing guidance on this, it's mushy.
In the Chicago Manual of Style, 8.7, "When the last name is used alone, de (but not d') is often dropped. Its occasional retention, in de Gaulle, for example, is suggested by tradition rather than logic."
Guess one person could say the "de Sade" was a traditional usage (various "official" Internet sites consider it so) and another could say that it follows the general rule, thus "Sade." The most that could be agreed upon, I think, is that you render it consistently one way in the piece you're writing.
In the Chicago Manual of Style, 8.7, "When the last name is used alone, de (but not d') is often dropped. Its occasional retention, in de Gaulle, for example, is suggested by tradition rather than logic."
Guess one person could say the "de Sade" was a traditional usage (various "official" Internet sites consider it so) and another could say that it follows the general rule, thus "Sade." The most that could be agreed upon, I think, is that you render it consistently one way in the piece you're writing.
lovecraft68
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I'll give ten bucks in 'lit money' to anyone here who can tell what a TPE is without running to google.
Oh, and it's very easy to tell someone truly in the lifestyle as opposed to the let's beat women crowd.
In a D/S relationship who is really calling the shots? Answer dom and go hang out with Hands and his ilk.
I won't waste time explaining why it's not true. All the experts are already here.
Oh, and it's very easy to tell someone truly in the lifestyle as opposed to the let's beat women crowd.
In a D/S relationship who is really calling the shots? Answer dom and go hang out with Hands and his ilk.
I won't waste time explaining why it's not true. All the experts are already here.
TxRad
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I'll give ten bucks in 'lit money' to anyone here who can tell what a TPE is without running to google.
Oh, and it's very easy to tell someone truly in the lifestyle as opposed to the let's beat women crowd.
In a D/S relationship who is really calling the shots? Answer dom and go hang out with Hands and his ilk.
I won't waste time explaining why it's not true. All the experts are already here.
Actually, who has the power in a D/s relationship is a long standing debate. I even wrote a poem on the subject. Or as close to a poem as i know anything about.
H
HandsInTheDark
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Actually, who has the power in a D/s relationship is a long standing debate. I even wrote a poem on the subject. Or as close to a poem as i know anything about.
You can Google TPE and find 4 different websites with 4 different definitions. One I just ran into claimed the submissive in a TPE relationship enters into a lifelong commitment and does not have the right to leave. (Extreme, to say the least.) That's exactly the problem with "experts" when it comes to sex or relationships. They, like certain people here, think they have the power to define what a relationship should be.
In the end, in a relationship, there are two people who decide what the relationship should be. If they can't agree, they don't have a relationship. If they do, and it works, then they are the experts on that relationship, and everyone else's opinions can go to hell. TPE, SSC, BDSM are initials that cover wide ranges of opinion and practice. One person's sane is not another's. Unless someone's overtly breaking the law or getting hurt (not oooh ouchie mmm hurt, but permanently damaged or unwillingly enslaved), I'd recommend not trying to decide what works for other people. Or trying to discern who has the power in a relationship, or even what that means.
Write all the fiction you want - that's why we're here. But anyone here who confidently expects they understand anyone else's positions or relationships - let alone thinks they are in a position to judge the validity of either - badly misunderstands their own importance. Fools rush in, they do say. Try not to prove it, is my advice.
