Acesandeights
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Mabye there is a post about this, mabye not.Im 35 and have ben involved with BDSM,D/s for the past few years and it seems aside from a handful of people everyone is much older.
BDSM under 40 ?
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CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
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Funny, I'm 37 and I have the exact opposite impression. LOL
Homburg
Daring greatly
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I'm 36 and have seen both sides of the number. It is probably dependent on the locale.
I will say that around here, the older people tend to be organised into munch groups and the like, while the younger crowd does more unorganised stuff like private parties sans explicit rules, no DM's, etc. But, well, the older crownd has been doing it longer. They've learned the lessons that the younguns haven't yet. *shrug*
Me? I've had fun at events with both crowds, and mixed crowds as well.
I will say that around here, the older people tend to be organised into munch groups and the like, while the younger crowd does more unorganised stuff like private parties sans explicit rules, no DM's, etc. But, well, the older crownd has been doing it longer. They've learned the lessons that the younguns haven't yet. *shrug*
Me? I've had fun at events with both crowds, and mixed crowds as well.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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What's age matter? It's just a number, and if you are already with someone, why does it matter what age group the majority of other people fit into? Of course, I suppose if you are doing it publicly, and with others, and want to stay within a specified age group it could, but then maybe it is about broadening your horizons and finding somewhere you fit, or someone you fit with.
Catalina
Catalina
Acesandeights
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Mabye I just need to look under a few more rocks.
CutieMouse
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It does kind of depend on how one goes about finding like minded sorts...
Acesandeights
Virgin
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Very true. I have been poking my nose around a little.I suppose we will see what I come up with.
the captians wench
sewing wench
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*giggles* I've only played with a two PYL's who were born anytime in the '80's
*giggles* but I like being my nearly 40 owner's twenty something slave. *bats eyes*
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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I'm 28 and I can't wait to be over 40. Seems like subs don't want to take you seriously until you around that age.
CutieMouse
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Homburg
Daring greatly
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I don't have any problems being taken seriously. Then again, I look even older than I am...
intothewoods
Truth seeker
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Sorry, at 35 you're officially an old-timer. If you're under 35 you can join one of the TNG (the next generation) kink groups.
Puman
Literotica Guru
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Oh dear,I guess that makes it official then... let me just go haul out my wheelchair and walking stick...
Acesandeights
Virgin
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Hahahahaha.Guess I need to get out my cane.
ZRT
The 'Yarch's Ass Kicker
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Whew, under the cut-off for another two months.
Etoile
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trojan_man_co
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sign me up!!! 25 here
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
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I don't have any problems being taken seriously. Then again, I look even older than I am...
I didn't think that.
I crossed your profile on FL, and thought "shit, he looks much younger than I thought he was".
Always got an older impression from your posts.
I agree and disagree at the same time...let me try to make sense...
I dont think age matters. i think we all have certain desires and kinks within us that some of us have been aware of since we first became sexually active, and others have discovered long since. I know i have the ability within me to be Dom, just as i have the ability to be a Sub since im one of nature natural switches.
All that being said though...I think its not really a question of age, but of experiance. most subs (and forgive me if this is a gross generalisation) would like someone who is self-assured, has a certainty about their actions and an ability to see that the subs needs are first met. that kind of ability comes with experiance. and usually the best kind of experiance comes with age. Most youngsters who feel the urge to be the D in their D/s relationship are driven by the misunderstanding that the sub is their to see to their needs (i am the master, you shall obey me etc etc) when it fact the both are equal. The D provides what the s needs, and the s provides what the D needs.
I have been fortunate in my short life (still only 25) to have had a few individuals who are naturally sub teach me the correct way of things. I know the theory, and i have in the past successfully put it into practice. that being said, i'm aware of how much i have yet to learn. Part of me is tempted to stay within the sub role for a few more years in order to better understand the mentality of being the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship.
thats my thoughts on the matter. The one thing i will say is no matter how old you are, dont ever stop being open to learning.
i shall stop mumbling here.
Matt
I dont think age matters. i think we all have certain desires and kinks within us that some of us have been aware of since we first became sexually active, and others have discovered long since. I know i have the ability within me to be Dom, just as i have the ability to be a Sub since im one of nature natural switches.
All that being said though...I think its not really a question of age, but of experiance. most subs (and forgive me if this is a gross generalisation) would like someone who is self-assured, has a certainty about their actions and an ability to see that the subs needs are first met. that kind of ability comes with experiance. and usually the best kind of experiance comes with age. Most youngsters who feel the urge to be the D in their D/s relationship are driven by the misunderstanding that the sub is their to see to their needs (i am the master, you shall obey me etc etc) when it fact the both are equal. The D provides what the s needs, and the s provides what the D needs.
I have been fortunate in my short life (still only 25) to have had a few individuals who are naturally sub teach me the correct way of things. I know the theory, and i have in the past successfully put it into practice. that being said, i'm aware of how much i have yet to learn. Part of me is tempted to stay within the sub role for a few more years in order to better understand the mentality of being the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship.
thats my thoughts on the matter. The one thing i will say is no matter how old you are, dont ever stop being open to learning.
i shall stop mumbling here.
Matt
Lady_of_Roses
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Eloquent post Matt! I agree for the most part.
My issue is that due to some troubles in the past, I can't have a dom over 40. And I can't seem to find anyone to play with, that my fiance is comfortable sharing me wtih. Its getting very frustrating.
My issue is that due to some troubles in the past, I can't have a dom over 40. And I can't seem to find anyone to play with, that my fiance is comfortable sharing me wtih. Its getting very frustrating.
Lady, lets be honest, i understand your fiance utterly - if you were mine i wouldnt want to share you with anyone
its one of those sad, annoying side affects of love (yes, sickening, i know). I'd be tempted to try to discover whether or not your fiance has some dom in him - if he did, you'd have to be willing to teach him for the first few...years (since somethings should never be rushed). Failing that, you could try searching together for a dom. but that would be something he'd have to initiate.
And i'm sorry to hear you've had troubles in the past. whatever they were, i hope they're long past.
00Syd
Secret Agent
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I agree with what Homburg said. It really is dependent on where you are, and also how organized everybody is.
Here in NYC the main two groups TES and DSF are mostly populated by folks on the older end of the spectrum and aren't exactly welcoming to younger folks (despite having their own TNG and Novice group). So if a younger person comes into the scene first by finding TES or DSF, it can seem like there is nobody (or very few people their age). However, there is a student group in the city which is mostly students and recent graduates, as well as other events, groups, and public parties that are mostly younger yet harder to find at first because they are less organized and established.
When I was first exploring the scene I was 18 and went to a TES meeting, felt incredibly uncomfortable and out of place, and didn't do anything else for a year. I then went to a younger-oriented group and felt much more comfortable and am now involved in the scene, with multiple groups.
I would say keep looking and be patient.
Here in NYC the main two groups TES and DSF are mostly populated by folks on the older end of the spectrum and aren't exactly welcoming to younger folks (despite having their own TNG and Novice group). So if a younger person comes into the scene first by finding TES or DSF, it can seem like there is nobody (or very few people their age). However, there is a student group in the city which is mostly students and recent graduates, as well as other events, groups, and public parties that are mostly younger yet harder to find at first because they are less organized and established.
When I was first exploring the scene I was 18 and went to a TES meeting, felt incredibly uncomfortable and out of place, and didn't do anything else for a year. I then went to a younger-oriented group and felt much more comfortable and am now involved in the scene, with multiple groups.
I would say keep looking and be patient.
Homburg
Daring greatly
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I didn't think that.
I crossed your profile on FL, and thought "shit, he looks much younger than I thought he was".
Always got an older impression from your posts.
You are too kind. Honestly, that picture is a particularly flattering one. I chided my buddy AP initially for trying to be artsy with the camera angles. Then I got to that photo and was elated by the whole thing. The composition couldn't be better if it had been planned. And my lovely assistant does her part in making me look better than I am.
Seriously though, I've always looked older than I am. Now I can apparently add "sounds older than I am" to that list
