BDSM: Questions and Answers

[Natalie Nessus]

I'm having trouble healing a brand on my lower leg. I gave it myself, so I can tell you all about it--it's a six-step ringed "O" on the inside of my lower leg, about 3 inches above the ankle bone. I've done brands on myself before, and have never had any problems with healing. Now, however, I've got a raised and hardening blister, with radiating redness for about 1 inch surrounding.

How long ago did you do it?

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Branding question

I haven't been around this thread much lately, but I'm not much of an *expert*, so I doubt ya'll have missed me too horribly.
<snip>
I'm having trouble healing a brand on my lower leg.

I've missed you. And i'd kiss it for you, if i could, if that wouldn't make it even worse, but i can't do that either. You already know that i know essentially nothing about brands, too, or burns for that matter. How frustrating.

Where's that incredibly informative and medically-astute BlondGirl when we need her? Probably off being a good mom again... geeze...

Nessus? Nice av/graphics.

lilminx? I am most assuredly *not*omniscient on the whole personals subject. Just been-there done-that a few times, is all. Try www.bondage.com, too, as WD reminded us all the other day.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Nessus? Nice av/graphics

Thanks, more Jim

RisiaSkye

I have a little experience but not a lot so hesitate to give advice

Sorry

 

[RisiaSkye]

Nessus and cym

Thanks for the thoughts, anyway. I did it a 9 days ago, and the healing is excruciatingly slow. I did more phases at once than I've ever done before, and it might be that the burn goes a bit deeper than I had intended.

It stings a bit, but mostly it's an ugly pain in the ass. When it heals, it'll be gorgeous

 

[Natalie Nessus]

When it heals, it'll be gorgeous

I'm sure it will

 

[lilfrk]

RisiaSkye

You may have to go to the doctor and get an ointment called Silvadine(sp?). It's what they use on burns and certain types of skin ulcers. It will help heal the damaged skin, lets new skin form and debris the old, dead, hard skin away.

Good Luck.

 

[Azwed]

Rope play

I have a question on Rope play. Right now me and my gf are experimenting with just basic tie one or the other up stuff. We are using some red silk rope that is about .5 inches thick, got it at wal-mart that really is a great store hehe yeah wholesome my ass. Anyway the rope seems good you can tie it very tight but it is smooth enough that it won't hurt her tiny wrists. What kind of knots would you use for this? I have been using just ordinary bow knots and they seem to work ok. Something that looked a little more elaborate would be cool. We have also been doing so blindfold play, just on me not her because of her hearing impairment, we have either been using a neck tie or the belt from her robe. Got any other suggestions or some new angles/scenes we could go with this?

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Rope play

I have a question on Rope play. Right now me and my gf are experimenting with just basic tie one or the other up stuff. We are using some red silk rope that is about .5 inches thick, got it at wal-mart that really is a great store hehe yeah wholesome my ass. Anyway the rope seems good you can tie it very tight but it is smooth enough that it won't hurt her tiny wrists. What kind of knots would you use for this? I have been using just ordinary bow knots and they seem to work ok. Something that looked a little more elaborate would be cool. We have also been doing so blindfold play, just on me not her because of her hearing impairment, we have either been using a neck tie or the belt from her robe. Got any other suggestions or some new angles/scenes we could go with this?

Don't know a lot about knots. But I made a pretty cool blindfold using fake fur material. I cut it out in the typical blindfold shape. Then I got one of those elastic bands that are made to hold on eye glasses during sports or exercise. It's really quick to put on. Has a bead you push in to tighten. I always hated trying to tie a knot with a lot of hair in the way.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Thanks. lilfrk

I'm trying an anti-bacterial kind of ointment my mom gets for skin ulcerations. For whatever reason, the swelling and redness is way down today. Looks like the edging is gonna be kinda ragged, which means at least 3-5 more stages of burns when it's healed enough.

Work, work, work.


WD, I'm totally with you on the non-tying blindfolds. It's not just a problem with women, either. Even with a curly or long-haired guy, there's way too much hair in the way. Your knots get messed up, and it's almost impossible to take it off later. Simple elastic or multi-level winding works much better.


Hubbie-Subbie's (ooh, he'd hate that nick ) getting me a gorgeous new flogger for my B-day. It's a major investment (about as much as a new DVD player), but I'm counting the days already...Just thought I'd share.

 

[BlondGirl]

<<<"
Where's that incredibly informative and medically-astute BlondGirl when we need her? Probably off being a good mom again... geeze...

">>>

LOLOLOLOL--I just about fell out when I read this. My son and I have just come inside from being outside and smoking. Yep. You read that right. My 9 year old just "enjoyed" his first cigarrette. He wanted to try it and I made him promise that when he actually wanted to do such a thing that he do it with me. He did not inhale much. At the end, I dared him to actually take a big enough inhale to blow smoke out. He did. Then he ran inside and brushed his teeth. Used lots of extra toothpaste. LOL
I declined to try--never have and likely never will. Grosses me out to the max.
So, now my kid has his curiosity satisfied. I just asked him if he thinks he will ever smoke again. His response? "Probably not."
LOL--Yeah--I think I have done my motherly duty today.


As far as burn info--I would scope out the BME website. All I know about brands is that you don't treat them the same as a typical burn. On a real burn, you don't want scarring and the treatments are designed to minimize that. For a brand, it is often treated the opposite. This is the extent of my knowledge.

 

[Wizard]

Re: Rope play

I have a question on Rope play. Right now me and my gf are experimenting with just basic tie one or the other up stuff. We are using some red silk rope that is about .5 inches thick, got it at wal-mart that really is a great store hehe yeah wholesome my ass. Anyway the rope seems good you can tie it very tight but it is smooth enough that it won't hurt her tiny wrists. What kind of knots would you use for this? I have been using just ordinary bow knots and they seem to work ok. Something that looked a little more elaborate would be cool. We have also been doing so blindfold play, just on me not her because of her hearing impairment, we have either been using a neck tie or the belt from her robe. Got any other suggestions or some new angles/scenes we could go with this?

http://www.iland.net/~jbritton/index.html


http://www.bedroombondage.com/bondageu/drbondage/basictechniques.html


http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/essays/ropesel.html


hope that helps...............helped me...............I have more if you need it........I find rope very erotic...............

 

[Cellis114]

Thank you... thank you... thank you... for everything that has been posted here in the past few months.... just tonight I found this discussion when I needed it most... I am somewhat new to this lifestyle... in that I was in a long term relationship for 15 years with my husband and over a period of time we discovered and uncovered our various roles in BDSM... then the relationship ended badly and I needed time to discover myself and my needs... as I embarked on my journey of self-discovery I was also hoping to find that one Dom for me... and then when I came here I saw the posting from July about on line predators.... and realized I had just ended a conversation with one... his last words to me were be a good sub and do what i tell you.... i have learned over the last year to listen to my gut... and there was that feeling again in the pit of my stomach that something was not quite right... First he wanted to meet with out telling me his name or sending me his picture... and this was only our second conversation.... I may be too trusting but I am not stupid.... those red flags were all over the place.... I know now that i will not be speaking with him again... and so I say again to all of you who have shared yourselves here and your experiences.... Thank you...

 

[cymbidia]

Woo-hoo!!!

Laurel put us in the Literotica Newletter this month!!!
Let's all send her a thank you card, shall we?



Onto another issue or two -

Blindfolds, the ones they give you on airline flights are *great* BDSM toys. They're not ever too tight, extremely easy on-easy off, and comfy as hell.

Azwed have you thought of her blindfolding you and then leading you around the house, arms bound with rope, rope around your body... her at the other end of the rope? A great trust builder, of not overtly sexual in nature. And, well, that rope could be tied around your cock or your balls, too. That'd teach you not to lollygag!

Cellis, welcome. Sincerely. If there's anything at all that anyone here has posted that helped you, i know that person - and all of us - are incredibly gratified. Please speak freely here, ask your questions, join in talking about what you know; please feel at ease here. We're like you, you're like us. Feels good, hmm?

 

[ChaoticLil]

Re: Rope play

I have a question on Rope play. Right now me and my gf are experimenting with just basic tie one or the other up stuff. We are using some red silk rope that is about .5 inches thick, got it at wal-mart that really is a great store hehe yeah wholesome my ass. Anyway the rope seems good you can tie it very tight but it is smooth enough that it won't hurt her tiny wrists. What kind of knots would you use for this? I have been using just ordinary bow knots and they seem to work ok. Something that looked a little more elaborate would be cool. We have also been doing so blindfold play, just on me not her because of her hearing impairment, we have either been using a neck tie or the belt from her robe. Got any other suggestions or some new angles/scenes we could go with this?

i found an absolutely wonderful book by Jay Wiseman (S&M 101 author) titled "Erotic Bondage Handbook". It goes through just about every aspect of rope play that i can think of.

i haven't had the pleasure of trying any of it out yet though. my husband isn't into any aspect of BDSM (he looks at it like it's a game), and i my long awaited visit to Los Angeles to visit my Master isn't for another couple of weeks.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Azwed

Very cool knot-tying site. If you want to learn new knots and the ways they can best be used for erotic bondage, check this place out.

http://www.queernet.org/deviant/ssknots.htm

 

[Azwed]

Re: Woo-hoo!!!

Azwed have you thought of her blindfolding you and then leading you around the house, arms bound with rope, rope around your body... her at the other end of the rope? A great trust builder, of not overtly sexual in nature. And, well, that rope could be tied around your cock or your balls, too. That'd teach you not to lollygag!

That would be fun but would not work. Its to hard for her to hear me when she is more then a few feet away. Have to be facing each other for her to read lips if the distance between her and the speaker is greater then 5 to 6 feet.


She does like to be chased around the apartment though. Once I catch her bend her over some appropriate nearby object and take her kind of roughly. Now that is a fun game.

 

[Azwed]

Thanks all the links guys. I have been slowly looking over them lately. Look very fun.

 

[carrie-on]

Cellis, I too have learned a lot from this discussion board even if I had not posted too often. I am very glad that I found it when I did. I was also very glad to see that Laurel mentioned this thread in the newsletter,so more people will hear about and hopefully learn from it.

 

[Mellon Collie]

I was reading a lot of what you all wrote on this thread and you seem to be very knowledgeable on the topic at hand. My questions is one on how I should get started and how I should figure out what exactly it is that I want. I'm only 19 now but I've known for a very long time that D/s was for me. I'm not so much into S & M but the prospect of submitting is emotionally and physically exciting for me but I have no idea how I should go about researching the topic to find what it is I want then to actually put the knowledge into use. The only thing I know I want is a Dom who is experienced but after that I have no idea.

I really hope I don't sound like a dope asking this but I would love it if someone was able to help me in anyway shape or form. Thank you.

 

[chatbug]

Getting Started

My question is how should I get started (submitting) and how should I figure out what exactly it is that I want.

Welcome to the thread. I hope you don't mind that I reworded your question slightly. You've already felt that submitting is "emotionally and physically exciting for me", and that's a good start. The next step is to determine for yourself which particular submission fantasies excite you. Reading some of the BDSM stories on Literotica and looking at submission pictures can help you make this determination. You're just looking for fantasies now, so don't worry about whether or not you could or would do something that excites you. That step comes next.

Once you've found one or more fantasies, enjoy them. Determine if there's a fantasy that you'd most like to experience. At this point, come back to the topic if you'd like and we can help you further.

Good luck finding an experienced dom to help you explore your submission.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you!

I have read some of what has been posted here and have found it to be very helpful in terms assisting me to work through issues concerning my submissive nature.

It is great to have somewhere where people can speak freely and safely about any topic.

I was wondering if someone would be interested in pm ing me so that I may ask a few more personal questions and learn a bit more?

I am not seeking a Dom, but would like to discuss this with a Dom or sub who may have a bit more experience than me.

Thanks again!

 

[Wizard]

MissTaken , check you Pm's when you have time..........

 

[Mae13]

.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Welcome, Mae!

The risk you take in talking about your fantasies doesn't really go away even if you specifically seek someone who also has BDSM interests...everyone is different, and the things that interest you may not interest someone else. Even the BDSM crowd isn't immune from the "What's your problem" phenomenon, as I well know.

But, talking to lifestylers is at least a good way to find a safe haven to discuss your fantasies and fears. At most, you'll find someone to explore that facet of your sexuality.

The easiest way is to run a Google search for "BDSM Munch [city, county, or state name]". When I ran it, I came up with at least a dozen groups. Of course, I'm in a metropolitan area, so there may be less options in your area. However, I also ran a test pattern--checking Flagstaff, AZ (a town of about 45,000)--and still came up with 2 groups. So, I'd look there as an easy beginning search. Then, you can look at their sites and see where you want to start.

Hope that helps,
Risia

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Re: Thank you!

I have read some of what has been posted here and have found it to be very helpful in terms assisting me to work through issues concerning my submissive nature.

It is great to have somewhere where people can speak freely and safely about any topic.

I was wondering if someone would be interested in pm ing me so that I may ask a few more personal questions and learn a bit more?

I am not seeking a Dom, but would like to discuss this with a Dom or sub who may have a bit more experience than me.

Thanks again!

PM me if you wish