BDSM n Nonconsent? Help

[blackwatch1881]

Just something Ive been wondering...

Do those who gain pleasure from non concent stories also gain pleasure from BDSM?

Both being about control, I'm not being nieve n saying that they are the same, Im just wondering as most Ive encountered that have rape fantasies also have a taste in the BDSM scene.

 

[FinePhilly]

I think the two are linked in some ways.

Rape is about the power that one person has over another. So is BDSM.

My first and only Lit story was a non consent category and contained what I guess could be called light BDSM. But I also plan to incorporate several other things into the conclusion of the story, like voyeurism, etc.

I'm not huge into the BDSM scene, but I do love to be dominated sometimes! Other times I love to dominate. And once in awhile I like things to be equal.

Generally, though...the best sex is a little rough!

 

[Desdemona]

The non consent stuff is fun in fantasy and I enjoy the stories. So I voted both. However, for real life, I'll stick with BDSM, thank you.

 

[Justina123]

The non consent stuff is fun in fantasy and I enjoy the stories. So I voted both. However, for real life, I'll stick with BDSM, thank you.

Ditto what Desdemona said!

justina

 

[princess4u]

while i very much enjoy bdsm, i really have no rape fantasies - for me the difference is with bdsm it is ultimately consentual, although most likely not at the exact moment one is "taken" (and that part i love) - but true rape involves NO consent

 

[witcha]

I also have from time to time some nonconsensual fantasies..but also know it's wrong and I'll never do that..For me BDSM is all about consent.....call me narrow minded, but nothing will change my point of view





witcha

 

[blackwatch1881]

I know about the nonc thing being wrong, I'm talking about it also under the story ideas thing. But unfortunatly its something which my body reacts to even though I know morally its wrong.

 

[blackwatch1881]

puter played up n pressed button before I'd finished

I've played within D/s in the past for about 2 years. I know the whole concent thing is important, possibly for myself more than others because I tend to enjoy things a little more 'extreme' than most I supose. so its vital that those limits are obeyed and respected.

The poll thing was just more of a random question that I was thinking about. maybe to help me understand my own desires more.

 

[m wisdom]

Some non consent fantasies but in rl 100% consent. I have no wish or desire to do anything in rl without consent.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to go with Des in that non-consent is only fantasy for me and where I want it to stay. I submit to one and would do my best to defend my rights against anyone who tried to force me into any situation I did not want and which was not of my Dominant's desire. In actual fact, even the non-consent fantasies I do have are no longer truly non-consent as they always revolve around a theme of being what Master wants or demands, not a stranger inflicting their will on me regardless.

Catalina

 

[Kassiana]

Reluctance. I tend to favor reluctance stories over true non-con stories. To me, reluctance is when the main character (preferably female) gets seduced into sex and really likes it. For example, the story "Idyll" by Dr. Mabeuse is one that really embodies a lot of my fantasies.

Of course, being tied up and teased and spanked have tons of appeal as well. Did I just say that "out loud"? Good.

 

[shy slave]

Have to go with Des in that non-consent is only fantasy for me and where I want it to stay. I submit to one and would do my best to defend my rights against anyone who tried to force me into any situation I did not want and which was not of my Dominant's desire. In actual fact, even the non-consent fantasies I do have are no longer truly non-consent as they always revolve around a theme of being what Master wants or demands, not a stranger inflicting their will on me regardless.

Catalina

This is works for me

 

[graceanne]

Reluctance. I tend to favor reluctance stories over true non-con stories. To me, reluctance is when the main character (preferably female) gets seduced into sex and really likes it. For example, the story "Idyll" by Dr. Mabeuse is one that really embodies a lot of my fantasies.

Of course, being tied up and teased and spanked have tons of appeal as well. Did I just say that "out loud"? Good.

That's how I am. I don't really go for rape, even in fantasy. I love reluctance. The whole seduction and a little coersion(sp?) That's a major turn on.

 

[TigerClaw]

Ok, I thought I had it all figured out.

Guidelines:

I like from time to time a scene where I force/shes reluctant. She says, "No". Even if she wants to give in I want her to resist for a while. Until I get her tied up and make her cum. Then she can give in.

This is not in rl life such as with a stranger, friend, coworker etc.
This is with my mate who the D/s limits have been dicussed thoroughly.
We are a couple, in Love, in a relationship.

Ive called this rape or play rape.
A lot of people have expressed No Rape. Some grey area though by my description and the threads comments.
Should I be calling this Reluctance then? The force part goes against what I perceive as the threads definition of reluctance.

????

What was that I heard??? Mice? Stewart?

 

[witcha]

I recently started rpling a lil bit of reluctance..but 1st had a really long talk bout it, so it was ok ish


and I've no idea what you hear...Coz I just saw Patric Stewart playing poker with mice






witcha

 

[TigerClaw]

Was it Strip Poker?

 

[witcha]

MMmmmmmmm...yeah...and the mice are winning






witcha

 

[Etoile]

Definitely both. For me, nonconsent is a subheading under BDSM. It's part of the D/s aspect to me.

 

[FungiUg]

I think there IS a link between BDSM and non-consent. However, I don't think one is a sub-set of another.

Actually, I occasionally read BDSM, and I never read non-consent. I do love reading mind control stories though. And yes, I think that TOO is related, but again, not a sub-set.

 

[JoseIsWild]

I am really not interested in NC at all. The only way it is fun for me is if I know that the sub is comfortable with me and with what I am doing.

The only possible exception would be if I was an interrogator and had to force information out of someone--but then I would only get pleasure out of harmless annoyances like pinching or teasing.

 

[grinner666]

I enjoy nonconsentual and mind control stories and fantasies, but the only time I would even think of acting such a thing out is with a sub's full knowledge and acceptance. That said, some of the more extreme NC/rape/mind control stories can be a real turn-on for me.

 

[blackwatch1881]

I understand what your saying about the differance of getting off on it and actually acting it out, I personally wouldnt want to happen for real, but the fantasy does it for me... heres the post i put on another thingy-me-jig I think might fit...

'Its the nonconcent side which I'm interested in, where although the body is reacting to the situation (or even sometimes not reacting) The mind isnt enjoying it but becoming more and more frustrated at how confusing it all is.

The pleasure gained is hard to explain, because 90% of our mind is trying to dismiss the feelings we have when we read it because its morally wrong to enjoy something which can and has ruined many women (and mens) lives.

The fanstasy we have about it I suppose contains some safty barriers. Such as knowing that our life isnt *really* at risk or that we are going to be permently damaged by any STDs, even that our 'attacker' isnt so repulsive that it'd make you vomit at the thought of having him take advantage out you.

I personally would enjoy the real fear in the situation, but maybe thats just me.'

so the question was really just about what happens to your body and mind while you read these... those being the body and mind of a sub... if that makes sense

 

[catalina_francisco]

I understand what your saying about the differance of getting off on it and actually acting it out, I personally wouldnt want to happen for real, but the fantasy does it for me... heres the post i put on another thingy-me-jig I think might fit...

'Its the nonconcent side which I'm interested in, where although the body is reacting to the situation (or even sometimes not reacting) The mind isnt enjoying it but becoming more and more frustrated at how confusing it all is.

The pleasure gained is hard to explain, because 90% of our mind is trying to dismiss the feelings we have when we read it because its morally wrong to enjoy something which can and has ruined many women (and mens) lives.

The fanstasy we have about it I suppose contains some safty barriers. Such as knowing that our life isnt *really* at risk or that we are going to be permently damaged by any STDs, even that our 'attacker' isnt so repulsive that it'd make you vomit at the thought of having him take advantage out you.

I personally would enjoy the real fear in the situation, but maybe thats just me.'

so the question was really just about what happens to your body and mind while you read these... those being the body and mind of a sub... if that makes sense

We actually play very much with it being someone who holds no appeal for me. That is not difficult as I only have eyes for one in reality, but repulsive is an added dimension to the pleasure principle for both.

As we are in a no limits relationship it removes the consent issue for my part, but does not mean I enjoy all that happens and that then becomes somewhat like you describe because it is the fact I do not want it which causes pleasure which results in a major mindfuck that ultimately boils down to submitting and enjoying that opportunity to submit, not agree to do things I know I would choose on my own or enjoy in any situation. Make sense?

Catalina

 

[blackwatch1881]

not in the slightest... but that may be the beer

lol.. I understand what your saying. I'm just glad I'm not the only one that feels like that

xXx

 

[LunarKitten]

Just something Ive been wondering...

Do those who gain pleasure from non concent stories also gain pleasure from BDSM?

Both being about control, I'm not being nieve n saying that they are the same, Im just wondering as most Ive encountered that have rape fantasies also have a taste in the BDSM scene.

I like roleplaying nonconsent, but I'm not into nonconsensual BDSM play at all.