BDSM Midlife Crisis

[Andreina]

anyone else ever experienced the will and the power to be a domme or the desire to be a sub? have you ever lost the joy in dominating/being dominated?
if so, how did you deal with it? how did your bdsm partner(s) deal with it...?


am i weird now? *walking over to the outkast korner*

 

[Ebonyfire]

anyone else ever experienced the will and the power to be a domme or the desire to be a sub? have you ever lost the joy in dominating/being dominated?
if so, how did you deal with it? how did your bdsm partner(s) deal with it...?


am i weird now? *walking over to the outkast korner*

I do not think you are weird at all. You feel the way you feel.

I have the opposite problem. I have lost the will to be "vanilla".

 

[Andreina]

...and I'm starting to be all about vanilla.

phuck, i don't wanna be a 'nilla bitch anymore

 

[Ebonyfire]

...and I'm starting to be all about vanilla.

phuck, i don't wanna be a 'nilla bitch anymore

There is nothing wrong with taking a break. I have done it from time to time. Others do not need to take a break. I think that now I no longer feel the need to be other than what I am. A Domme.

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

I go through phases all the time.

Sometimes I immerse myself in the lifestyle (as much as that is possible for me) and other times I can go months without really thinking about it.

The trick is to not do anything rash when the pendulum swings. For instance... don't throw out all your paraphenalia just because you have no desire to use it at the moment.

Send it to me!

 

[bunny bondage]

Re: ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

ok, i hate to be picky, but that song was by david bowie!

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have been pissed off enough to consider locking up the whips and chains and retreating into seclusion. Moving into the vanilla world is never a thought or an option, abstinence is though.
Different things in life bring these thoughts to Us...taking a break never hurts. Nor does it change the basics of who You are.

 

[Andreina]

who or what am i?

sometimes i think im too tender with my subs - i dont want to hurt them but i want them to obey me at all times. im not into bondage but i want to bind them to me.
oh yeah...and i want them to bend over


bugger....

 

[Justina123]

I had one good friend wonder if BDSM is my midlife crisis, since I didn't "discover it" until my 40's....
ha

-justina

 

[lancemanyon]

anyone else ever experienced the will and the power to be a domme or the desire to be a sub? have you ever lost the joy in dominating/being dominated?
if so, how did you deal with it? how did your bdsm partner(s) deal with it...?


am i weird now? *walking over to the outkast korner*

Maybe you're just starting to heal from whatever made you pursue that lifestyle in the first place. Congratulations!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have been pissed off enough to consider locking up the whips and chains and retreating into seclusion. Moving into the vanilla world is never a thought or an option, abstinence is though.
Different things in life bring these thoughts to Us...taking a break never hurts. Nor does it change the basics of who You are.

Exactly. It is a normal occurrence. Just like the urge to post dick and cum pics all over an anonymous porn site, and then accuse others who have a different kink of either being sick victims or sick victimizers. To each his own.

It is all in ones point of view.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: BDSM Midlife Crisis

Maybe you're just starting to heal from whatever made you pursue that lifestyle in the first place. Congratulations!

Ha ha ha ha

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

I go through phases all the time.

Sometimes I immerse myself in the lifestyle (as much as that is possible for me) and other times I can go months without really thinking about it.

The trick is to not do anything rash when the pendulum swings. For instance... don't throw out all your paraphenalia just because you have no desire to use it at the moment.

Send it to me!

No, Vv, not that she has "healed" I want to take advantage of her and take all of her toys!

 

[Richard49]

I have been going through the "do I want to be in this lifestyle" and "hell do I even want to have sex" off and on for almost 2 years now.

I am still going through the questioning.

The only thing I can share is
1) journal
2) untill you have an answer hang around here to keep this perceptive fresh

 

[psiberzerker]

You've got to take a break every once in a while or you get burned out. Usually, i don't start feeling singed untill I realise that I've already done this particular variation recently, the run in to it over, and over.
Shit, man take a break, go on hiatus. Trying to stop it is counter productive. If you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can go over to the other camp for a while, and see how they're doing. Sometimes, that has helped me when I was getting bored with what I'd been doing. If nothing else, it should make you better at your preferred role.

 

[Andreina]

I had one good friend wonder if BDSM is my midlife crisis, since I didn't "discover it" until my 40's....
ha

-justina

im only 22

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

Re: Re: ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

ok, i hate to be picky, but that song was by david bowie!

Holy shit batman! How embarrasing. I'm old enough to know better too. Thanks for pointing out my 'fox paw' BB.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

Holy shit batman! How embarrasing. I'm old enough to know better too. Thanks for pointing out my 'fox paw' BB.

Old timers disease strikes again!

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: ch, ch, ch, changes (best Mick Jagger voice)

Old timers disease strikes again!

that batman thing gives it away every time

 

[Ebonyfire]

No Midlife Crisis

One choice I made three years ago, was to live my life on my own terms, and not other people's.

I do not lose the will to be a Domme, because it is not a coat that I don. It is an integral part of me just as being black and female is.

I take the good with the not so good, so far it is all good.


Everyday above ground is a good one.

 

[Goddess Helena]

* waves *

anyone else ever experienced the will and the power to be a domme or the desire to be a sub? have you ever lost the joy in dominating/being dominated?
if so, how did you deal with it? how did your bdsm partner(s) deal with it...?


am i weird now? *walking over to the outkast korner*

You are not weird. Nor are you alone in what you are feeling. I'm right in there with you, sweetie. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I want. I thought taking a break from lit might help, but I'm not even sure about that now.

Part of what I am going through is that My beloved pet left me.
Part of it is that W/we are still drawn to each other.
Part of it is that I've met a lovely nilla man who adores me.
Part of it is the fact that right now I don't really care about very much at all.

I'll be under My rock if A/anyone wants to taunt Me.


Helena

 

[Richard49]

Re: * waves *

You are not weird. Nor are you alone in what you are feeling. I'm right in there with you, sweetie. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I want. I thought taking a break from lit might help, but I'm not even sure about that now.

Part of what I am going through is that My beloved pet left me.
Part of it is that W/we are still drawn to each other.
Part of it is that I've met a lovely nilla man who adores me.
Part of it is the fact that right now I don't really care about very much at all.

I'll be under My rock if A/anyone wants to taunt Me.


Helena

I can relate

I wish I could NOT

 

[Goddess Helena]

I wish that for you also, Richard.

It is not an easy place for Our kind to be.


Helena