"BDSM is the new oral sex...

[shayne_mayhem]

It just isn't that kinky anymore."

I forgot where I saw that quote; maybe here, but I wondered if anyone had any input. With movies, TV shows, stores like Hot Topic....is BDSM being overpopularized? Does anyone feel that too many vanillas are acting like they "know" the lifestyle? I don't mean to be shallow about it, but I wondered how people who have been doing this for awhile felt about this encroachment of popular culture.

It's kind of like how it's "cool" lately to have, or pretend to have, psychological disorders. I find lots of kids of the Hot Topic set espousing this sort of ideal, too.

 

[O'Mac]

Does anyone feel that too many vanillas are acting like they "know" the lifestyle? I don't mean to be shallow about it, but I wondered how people who have been doing this for awhile felt about this encroachment of popular culture.

Oh no! How can we be a bunch of elitist assholes now, if everyone else get into the scene?

Sorry, but thats the sentiment I tend to get from a lot of people in the BDSM community. It's as if they want to be acknowledged and accepted as a legitimate social group, but won't go so far as to truly open themselves up to anyone who may have a passing interest in the lifestyle. "Encroachment of popular culture" sounds like a term the old guard would use as they try to maintain some aura of mystery around themselves.

Give me a friggin' break. I'm not ranting at you for bringing it up, but it does get to me how incredibly elitist the BDSM community can be. As I've mentioned before, even the term "vanilla" conveys a sense of boredom and commonplace. As if it gives us some sort of superiority over everyone else for our particular tastes.

 

[shayne_mayhem]

Give me a friggin' break. I'm not ranting at you for bringing it up, but it does get to me how incredibly elitist the BDSM community can be. As I've mentioned before, even the term "vanilla" conveys a sense of boredom and commonplace. As if it gives us some sort of superiority over everyone else for our particular tastes.

Hmm. Yeah, I can agree to that mostly. I guess that I personally, and not really about BDSM, find that alot of the time the popular media grabs hold of and perverts stuff I'm into, and then I'm bombarded by a bunch of kids who scorn me because all they know is the media-friendly version, with none of the history or the culture.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I doubt the humiliation shit that trips my trigger will ever be that mainstream.

 

[h_i_s]

I don't mean to be shallow about it, but I wondered how people who have been doing this for awhile felt about this encroachment of popular culture.

How i feel about it? Plainly put, i don't. i don't concern myself with the business of others.

i don't pretend to have control of, nor the right to define how others choose to live their lives, or how they play, or what their choices are in how they express themselves. i don't want the control or right.

Just as i'd have no appreciation for anyone poking their noses into my life (my own choice of sexual expression, my own realtionship) ...... i'm not one to poke my own into those belonging to anyone else.

Besides ... i fail to understand WHY i should. Who, if anyone at all, would it benefit?

Live and let live.

P.S. Not even going to start in on the fact that MOST (with the exception of those who may enjoy the same) ... can't even begin to appreciate or even understand, let alone relate to .. the style of the relationship which i share with my Master, anyway. Just in knowing, accepting and understanding that ... it would be pretty silly of me to be so condescending in judging anyone else's relationship .. or sexual practices. And most importantly, just based on the reactions to our relationship which i have received from some who 'think they know', .... i highly doubt is it quite as "popular" as you might think.

 

[THE_GENTLEMAN]

The problem with kids now, is they have no respect whatsoever. They also have no concept of reality and are in a very sad state of existence where they see little hope for the future and are dominated and controlled by media and society.

That's the way it is. This country is SKREWED with a K. Now, another problem is that they are all clones of each other. There is no individualism, no outrageous thinking going on. I see all the teenage boys. Trucker hats. Long scraggly hair, Jeans and t-shirt. GRAB AN IDENTITY FOR FUCKS SAKE I say. But they are a product of society and are not taught how to obtain knowledge. They are simply a number that gets pushed through the educational system of this country into the outside, where they see no hope and there is no dream.

What is not taught in school is how to think. How to observe and not internalize, but observe and gather knowledge and create your own truth. Where's the outrageous ideas? Where's the unconventional thinking? We are all just becoming clones of each other.

Now the BDSM thing I was not aware of. I don't buy anything at Hot Topic because I think the stuff they sell there is garbage. I don't know this for a fact, it's just a guess. If I'm going to buy S+M stuff. It's got to be quality leather. My wife and I are real tough on stuff and I've had it with buying SHIT vinyl skirts and other SHIT items that break.

Now, I just got into BDSM. I'm no expert. My wife loves it, and I'm starting to get into it A LOT. Anything out of the norm, or outside of the box of convention is good for me. However I will not get into something half-assed. It's full throttle or nothing. I want to learn this lifestyle and the various subtleties involved. We started out with me just slapping her on the ass, then I said. Whoa whoa. We have to do this right. There must be some rules set up if I'm going to be your master. First off, no talking, unless you are spoken to and asked a question.

I have to learn all the various rope techniques and whatnot as well. So as far as your fear of S+M being the new cool thing to do, just like these idiot clones with trucker hats and dickies pants, that will fade away very soon if it does catch on. Nobody really knows what BDSM is really. They think it's just slapping on the ass and a couple other things like handcuffs. There's a lot more to it than that. Like I told my wife. If you want to do BDSM, we're going to do it right.

Fuck, if I get into it enough, I'm going to open a store that sells quality stuff. Not garbage. I'm tired of these fucking online stores. Selling you shit products, 1/2 the time they don't even fit properly. That's one thing that really burns my ass. Especially since I'm willing to spend $1000 on outfits for my wife. Fucking criminals that sell garbage product should be jailed.

G-MAN

It just isn't that kinky anymore."

I forgot where I saw that quote; maybe here, but I wondered if anyone had any input. With movies, TV shows, stores like Hot Topic....is BDSM being overpopularized? Does anyone feel that too many vanillas are acting like they "know" the lifestyle? I don't mean to be shallow about it, but I wondered how people who have been doing this for awhile felt about this encroachment of popular culture.

It's kind of like how it's "cool" lately to have, or pretend to have, psychological disorders. I find lots of kids of the Hot Topic set espousing this sort of ideal, too.

 

[AAkasha]

It just isn't that kinky anymore."

I forgot where I saw that quote; maybe here, but I wondered if anyone had any input. With movies, TV shows, stores like Hot Topic....is BDSM being overpopularized? Does anyone feel that too many vanillas are acting like they "know" the lifestyle? I don't mean to be shallow about it, but I wondered how people who have been doing this for awhile felt about this encroachment of popular culture.

It's kind of like how it's "cool" lately to have, or pretend to have, psychological disorders. I find lots of kids of the Hot Topic set espousing this sort of ideal, too.

I'd be into BDSM regardless of what anyone else does, how popular it is or isn't or if I was stranded on a deserted island. I'm not sure how outside factors could influence a person's ability to get off on their wired kink. I didn't choose to be femdom, it chose me.


Akasha

 

[AngelicAssassin]

even the term "vanilla" conveys a sense of boredom and commonplace. As if it gives us some sort of superiority over everyone else for our particular tastes.

Not really. i happen to like vanilla ice cream. Granted, i add things, but it starts out vanilla.

I doubt the humiliation shit that trips my trigger will ever be that mainstream.

*clapping from the peanut gallery* Hear, hear, reverend. No preaching to the choir on that sentiment.

i don't concern myself with the business of others.

i don't pretend to have control of, nor the right to define how others choose to live their lives, or how they play, or what their choices are in how they express themselves. i don't want the control or right.

Just as i'd have no appreciation for anyone poking their noses into my life (my own choice of sexual expression, my own realtionship) ...... i'm not one to poke my own into those belonging to anyone else.

Besides ... i fail to understand WHY i should. Who, if anyone at all, would it benefit?

... Just in knowing, accepting and understanding that ... it would be pretty silly of me to be so condescending in judging anyone else's relationship .. or sexual practices.

Ka-ching.