bdsm dating sites

[RusDom]

What bdsm dating sites(apps) do you use?

 

[thetiesthatbindme]

I personally don't think that there are any good bdsm sites. I've met nothing but scammers,weirdos and men who think the fifty shades books are an actual representation of the lifestyle. I've pretty much given up on nuturing my submissive side.Good luck to you though.

 

[fma20fma]

surprised to know the sites exist. are they secret sites or free to chat and use?

 

[PaxNurgle]

I've never come across any good BDSM dating sites either. Fetlife and the Cage are both good sites as far as community, blogging, sharing information, tips, and ideas, but I wouldn't consider either of them a "dating" site per se. All the other ones I've found, as mentioned, either have more 'bots than Nute Gunray's army, or have a male:female ratio of something like 25:1 (or both of these at the same time.)

A lot of the sites claim to be "Free" but the only thing that is "Free" is the ability to set up a profile. You actually have to have a paid subscription to do anything, even to respond to someone else messaging you. There used to be a legitimately free site called "Collarme" (later renamed Collarspace) but I think that site is pretty much defunct- and like most, wasn't really very lucrative as far as a dating site.

 

[Woolmohair]

I've never come across any good BDSM dating sites either. Fetlife and the Cage are both good sites as far as community, blogging, sharing information, tips, and ideas, but I wouldn't consider either of them a "dating" site per se. All the other ones I've found, as mentioned, either have more 'bots than Nute Gunray's army, or have a male:female ratio of something like 25:1 (or both of these at the same time.)

A lot of the sites claim to be "Free" but the only thing that is "Free" is the ability to set up a profile. You actually have to have a paid subscription to do anything, even to respond to someone else messaging you. There used to be a legitimately free site called "Collarme" (later renamed Collarspace) but I think that site is pretty much defunct- and like most, wasn't really very lucrative as far as a dating site.

Collarspace does seem to exist. I checked on it out of curiosity, and it seems to be at least moderately active,

 

[Damanhere]

What bdsm dating sites(apps) do you use?

Been on alt.com but it's just another passive that sends you fake ads from the farthest corner of the country...lol

 

[PaxNurgle]

I was on Alt.com for a while, a long time ago, but kinda gave up on it. I don't think my profile is even still there; it has been at least 10-15 years. Like so many others, you can't really do anything other than create a profile there unless you become a paying member. And once you become a paying customer, it's the usual issue as with most of the "Adult" dating sites: Bots/fake profiles, men outnumbering women like 20:1, women so inundated with solicitations from desperate men that they simply quit responding, and so on. So I became disillusioned with it and eventually quit.

 

[seekingAlpha]

Every dating site is a potential BDSM dating site. Be direct about your kinks and what you are looking for once the conversation matures to a sexual level. Sexual compatibility is important and it should be discussed early on when vetting a potential partner.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Collarspace does seem to exist. I checked on it out of curiosity, and it seems to be at least moderately active,

CollarSpace the new CollarMe has changed a lot. It used to be pretty good. Lotta knowledge to be learned in the chat rooms. Now SO many of the good ones have left. There might be some left. I’ve not been there in a long time.
CollarMe was where I dipped my toes into the lifestyle.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Collarspace is pretty bare bones. It seems like it is just barely hanging on, enough to keep the lights on. The Chat rooms and forums are gone, as are most of the user base.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Collarspace is pretty bare bones. It seems like it is just barely hanging on, enough to keep the lights on. The Chat rooms and forums are gone, as are most of the user base.

The writing was on the wall long ago. People were leaving years ago. Kinda sad to see it run into the ground the way it was.
When I was there in the beginning of my looking into the lifestyle. It was good. Lotta knowledge helpful people.

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

a male:female ratio of something like 25:1

Such a well-articulated post, I'm surprised you didn't catch this typo. I presume what you meant to say was 2500:1

 

[PaxNurgle]

Well I don't know the exact ratio, but it could be that bad.

With a lot of these adult dating sites, I suspect that it is skewed that way for one particular reason: On many other free personal sites- Craigspace, Backpagelist, and what not, you see these ads from "Women" (pictures of random models in fetish wear) who, unbeknownst to the hapless guys who reply to the ads, are just bots that direct them to another adult subscription dating site. They reply to their ad, and "She" sends a link to the adult dating site with a disclaimer "I will not be checking back here."

So, these bots/ads are deliberately targeting one demographic only- single males in search of play partners. So hence, tons and tons of guys are hoodwinked into signing up for these adult dating sites and sure enough, once they do, there end up being almost entirely males who fell for the fake ad-bots, and very, very few females. Meanwhile, the managers of those sites rake in huge bankroll from the new crop of (suckers)/paid subscription members.

Yes, I do speak from experience. Early on, when I was but an innocent (and rather clueless) newb trying to sort through these powerful feelings I was having, I ended up subscribing to...I'm probably not allowed to mention the site name here (because I think the admins wont allow it) through this exact scam. But luckily was smart enough to cancel the subscription after a couple months. I've since run into this a few times, but now know not to fall for this crap.

 

[Roughscrewu]

ALT was good about 10 years back , meet a few women IRL. Some experienced others curious.