BDSM As Health Therapy

[catalina_francisco]

So much negativity is attached to living or playing in this lifestyle, and yet I am beginning to wonder if perhaps many of us and what we do does not have another use to the mainstream community, not to mention medical science. There have been various discussions here over the years around the physiology and psychological effects of what we do, and some medical evidence it is being investigated as a form of therapy in places such as Russia. Given I am researching Autism and Asperger's these days, it jumped out at me while reading an article about Dr.Temple Grandin the similarity between her experience and those many of us describe as an unexplainable calm which bondage can induce and feed.

"Temple believes she experiences life like a prey animal in the wild. Her emotions are much simpler than most people's and she feels constantly anxious – always alert and looking for danger. It's this struggle with overwhelming anxiety that led her to discover just how much she has in common with animals and, in particular, cows.

During a summer spent on her aunt's ranch, when she was 16, she began to notice that nervous cattle seemed to calm down when they entered a piece of equipment called a squeeze chute.

Designed to hold the cattle still, whilst they received veterinary treatment, the wooden contraption clamped the cows along either side of the body. As the sides squeezed their flanks, Temple noticed several of the cows become visibly relaxed and calm.

Eager to find a way to conquer her own anxiety she asked her aunt to operate the chute on her. The result was a revelation. Temple felt much calmer and the effect lasted for several hours afterwards.

Inspired by her experiences on the ranch, she built her own human squeeze machine at home. She still has one installed in her bedroom.

There is a scientific explanation for what seems like her quirky behaviour. Psychologists have discovered evidence to suggest that the effects of deep pressure on the body are very real and can be beneficial and calming for many people with autism. "

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/tvradio/programmes/horizon/temple.shtml

Could it be the medical fraternity could soon be knocking on our dungeon doors wanting to research our behaviours in the interests of contributing positively to medical science? Of course, I did offer to give a bondage session in the interests of seeing if it gave a similar effect as Temple experienced in the chute, but all I got was a grin and 'thanks, but no thanks'.

Catalina

 

[RJMasters]

Don't know if this will make any sense.

I think there is a tremendious need to deal with the effects of escapism.

For some, BDSM is just another form of escapism for others its not. Moving past that circulatory facet of the discussion, I can see or understand why BDSM could have the effect of getting a dose of reality and that being beneficial.

Its hard to put a spin on pain. Its hard to put a spin on being bound and being completely helpless. The reality of pain and being bound can in many ways make a person face a level of honestly in themselves they would not normally or otherwise face.

There are numerious reasons why people would seek out pain or to be bound. I don't mean to imply that everyone who seeks this out does so for medicnal mental purposes, I'm just saying that in a society where escapism is encouraged and practiced, pain or being bound could be a better form of treatement than swallowing a pill in some cases.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Don't know if this will make any sense.
... pain or being bound could be a better form of treatement than swallowing a pill in some cases.

It makes perfect sense to me and fits well for me, too. ;-) I'm just the opposite of those stereotypical women. I don't have a headache until I CAN'T (as in not being allowed to) cum. And being bound and/or whipped and then not allowed to cum is far worse for me.

But once I'm allowed to cum... katie bar the door! LOL

 

[RJMasters]

It makes perfect sense to me and fits well for me, too. ;-) I'm just the opposite of those stereotypical women. I don't have a headache until I CAN'T (as in not being allowed to) cum. And being bound and/or whipped and then not allowed to cum is far worse for me.

But once I'm allowed to cum... katie bar the door! LOL

It would be undominantly of me to giggle purfusely, so I will just sit here and chuckle my ass off!

 

[mitchell67]

re: hug therapy

catalina:

I think it's clear that people do better when they are hugged regularly. An ex gf commented that it must be the case that it's part of our nature since our arms extend forward and curve across one another and well breasts invite the embrace between mother and child. Why would the same positive associations not carry over into adulthood?

But what I'd like to bring up relates to the notion that mental health of the general populace could be enhanced by encouraging an earlier and more respected identification of dominant and submissive personalities. I know that I would have saved myself from a number of disastrous relationships and it's clear that subs, who remain unaware of their nature and needs, make perfectly accommodating victims for abusers. How many enablers and codependents would be better off if they were given a better framework to understand their motives and needs in a relationship as a submissive?

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

LOL, I don't know if they'll be knocking on the door but I think many of us can offer at least anecdotal evidence that this lifestyle can be mentally beneficial to some. I've seen it in my own subs, the total relaxation and calm that comes over them when I have bound them, or while I am delivering a whipping/paddling.

Perhaps it has to do with the trance like state extreme pain can take someone to, or it may revolve around the peace that fills them when they are in my total control. Either way, I've seen it and held the subs afterward when they are so relieved to be unburdened for those moments that they weep with gratitude.

All that said, I will keep my eyes open for notices of studies from the two major universities in my area. If I see one talking about studying the positive mental aspects of pain-induced trances I'll be sure to let you know.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

30 minutes of pain will do more for me than 20 years on a psychiatrist's couch.

 

[O'Mac]

I think more than a few physicians or psychiatrists would agree that a little pain never hurt anyone.

 

[FurryFury]

I think more than a few physicians or psychiatrists would agree that a little pain never hurt anyone.

LMAO!

I so get that vibe off of a lot of them!

I was at a demo recently. The guy running it said, after a bad day, when you are in a bad mood, you probably don't want to be beaten or scene, that's not a good time. I was like WHAT? I totally would benefit from being beaten after a bad day, it would relax me and make me happy!

LOL!

Fury

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Interesting topic here Cat , I think I'll be able to contribute when I am in a less silly mood than currently . Quite a few things come to mind actually. Back later.....

 

[O'Mac]

I was at a demo recently. The guy running it said, after a bad day, when you are in a bad mood, you probably don't want to be beaten or scene, that's not a good time. I was like WHAT? I totally would benefit from being beaten after a bad day, it would relax me and make me happy!

I hear what you're saying. I know I can look toward a session as a means of relaxing myself and bringing down my stress levels. Surely it's more advantageous for people to bleed themselves off emotionally and physcially instead of maintaining a high level of tension and stress.

 

[Bandit58]

A friend of mine told me that she enjoys being blindfolded, bound and put in a sling harness - it relaxes her after a stressful day at work and she even falls asleep there

 

[Stegral]

I do wonder if, as newborns are comforted being bundled up tight in a blanket, that we as adults could enjoy the "entrapped" feeling on a different level...
I wonder if those babies that enjoyed being cuddled & wrapped do have a more "submissive" thought process & if so, are those babies that hated it & needed to be sprawled out, untouched, ended up having a more dominant side??

I am NOT a professional researcher or therapist, just one that wonders alot about why people are the way we are. I DO believe we are "hardwired" from birth & kids that are "just bad & do things to be spanked" grow up being into pain, just as one that always needed to control things & got physical in order to get others to listen became Dominant and others that were quiet & just wanted everyone to be happy are Submissives?
Maybe the people that thought of the childhood upbringing theory just didn't go back far enough?

For me Pain is a wonderful outlet..."carving" in particular
to date it is all self inflicted, but I KNOW that I DO feel immensely better after a good cut that draws blood, almost like a pressure release. As I understand more I have found other ways to "deal" with stress but when ALL else fails, taking a knife to a fleshy part of me instead of my wrists/throat vents all the bad away soooo quickly, they are rarely very deep, just deep enough to draw blood...

 

[neonflux]

Feedback from someone not in the "lifestyle"

I do enjoy receiving light pain during sex and can certainly reciprocate when a partner desires. In addition, I occasionally engage in light power play - both dominating and submitting (with no humiliation or discipline). However, I don't consider myself in the "lifestyle" since I don't structure my relationships around it, and since I am usually just as happy with "vanilla" sex. While I am not in the lifestyle, I do have friends who are.

About 3.5 months ago, I was diagnosed with herpes, a tremendous loss which brought up issues of childhood trauma related to my father. The diagnosis was both preceeded and followed by more loss, the most significant of which was a very recent break-up. This last pushed me over the edge and for the first time in my life I found myself truly unable to function - unable to work, crying 3 - 4 hours a day. A meeting with my ex followed by a letter to him helped, I was still working at half my normal level of productivity.

I contacted a friend who is considered to be a "master dom" and whom I knew did BDSM cleansings. I asked him if he'd perform one for me and he agreed. As per the other thread regarding people who get pleasure from giving pain, I'm sure that probably played a part, but he is also a friend and he took great care in shaping the experience and taking care of me through out. He also asked a woman friend of his who is a healer to be present to help with aftercare.

There was no safe word because having one would keep me from going where I needed to go. He'd told me this beforehand. However, he somehow knew exactly how far he could push me and also sensed exactly when I needed to rest. He used both a flogger and a paddle - I was actually pretty surprised to see what he ended with. A flogger with 68 1/2 inch strips of very long leather and a device he'd made himself for paddling that went beyond a metal paddle with holes in it. What I found is that the floggers helped release emotional trauma - I tend to collect stress in my upper back which is where he concentrated that effort - somehow the body "knows." The paddles pushed me to places in terms of memory/anger/hurt that probably would have taken me 6 or 7 sessions to get to with a skilled therapist. The bruises are helping me remember and follow through on the commitments I made to myself during the cleansing. (I am currently working to get into regular talk therapy, btw.)

When I called my sister the next day to share the experience, she said that I sounded more grounded than I had since I contracted herpes. While I wasn't able to sleep the night of the cleansing - my friend warned me that I probably wouldn't be able to do so because I'd still be processing what came up - the following night was the first night I slept more than 4.5 hours (even with Ambien) in the past 3.5 months.

I understand that this was a guided experience with a specific purpose, and perhaps "separate" from what happens within a more "everyday" BDSM encounter (if one can ever call any sexual experience "everyday" - I personally don't believe that's true, even in a one-night stand). However, I cannot imagine that both giving and receiving pain cannot bring similar, if perhaps unanticipated and more random, release during regular sexual encounters.

~ Neon

 

[leeroy jenkins]

LMAO!

I so get that vibe off of a lot of them!

I was at a demo recently. The guy running it said, after a bad day, when you are in a bad mood, you probably don't want to be beaten or scene, that's not a good time. I was like WHAT? I totally would benefit from being beaten after a bad day, it would relax me and make me happy!

LOL!

Fury

After you get this relaxation do you deal with what was causing the need to be beat??

Yesterday I disappointed M'lady a bit when she asked if I had a blindfold and I told her I didn't and had nothing to make a good makeshift either. Then a few other things happened and increased my annoyed feeling, but before we played we discussed this disappointment and I see why she was and will try not to make this mistake in the future.

The reason I ask is someone I played with 1 time thinks I use play as an escape and don't ever deal with what causes me to need to play in the first place.

But yes Fury I think like you do when your feeling poorly that is the best time for a beating to get your internal drugs pumping and helps lift you out of your funk.

 

[FurryFury]

Neonflux,

Thanks for sharing your incredible and therapeutic experience with us!

Fury

Leer,

I think a lot of the things that I need to deal with relate to stress and anger which I find difficult to deal with and seem to store up. I feel spankings, floggings and the like help release the build up to a point. Do I change the way I deal with stress and anger, not much. Then again, I feel like I'm doing pretty good overall. I think the therapy I'm using is more effective than any other I have tried or meditation so I'm pretty fucking happy with it.

If you are happy with what you are doing, I'd say, let the negatives your, no doubt, well meaning friend tries to project onto you. If you are not examine and work on whatever it is that you think you need to.

Fury

 

[O'Mac]

There was no safe word because having one would keep me from going where I needed to go. He'd told me this beforehand. However, he somehow knew exactly how far he could push me and also sensed exactly when I needed to rest. He used both a flogger and a paddle - I was actually pretty surprised to see what he ended with. A flogger with 68 1/2 inch strips of very long leather and a device he'd made himself for paddling that went beyond a metal paddle with holes in it. What I found is that the floggers helped release emotional trauma - I tend to collect stress in my upper back which is where he concentrated that effort - somehow the body "knows." The paddles pushed me to places in terms of memory/anger/hurt that probably would have taken me 6 or 7 sessions to get to with a skilled therapist. The bruises are helping me remember and follow through on the commitments I made to myself during the cleansing. (I am currently working to get into regular talk therapy, btw.)

When I called my sister the next day to share the experience, she said that I sounded more grounded than I had since I contracted herpes. While I wasn't able to sleep the night of the cleansing - my friend warned me that I probably wouldn't be able to do so because I'd still be processing what came up - the following night was the first night I slept more than 4.5 hours (even with Ambien) in the past 3.5 months.

I understand that this was a guided experience with a specific "theraputic" purpose, and quite different from what happens within a more "everyday" BDSM encounter (if one can ever call any sexual experience "everyday" - I personally don't believe that's true, even in a one-night stand). However, I cannot imagine that both giving and receiving pain cannot bring similar, if perhaps unanticipated and more random, release during regular sexual encounters.

Hmmmmm.

Hmmmmm.

HMMMMMMMMMMM.

I don't know if I like the sounds of this. Hear me out. Firstly, while I would argue that BDSM can certainly have many positive aspects on a person's mental and emotional state, I'm not so convinced with this "cleansing" session. The lack of a safe word definitely troubles me. It smacks of irresponsibility, ESPECIALLY if this Dom is claiming to have a theraputic know-how. Does he have creditials as a legitimate therapist? Do you know if this session actually helped you're current emotional situation, or did it just offer a band-aid solution for deeper problems?

Don't mean to be a downer with your experience. If it does work for you in the long-run, as opposed to just temporarily masking a larger issue, then I'm sure things will work out. I'm just always a bit leary about some of the comments you've made.

 

[neonflux]

To O'Mac - I understand your worries, but...

He's a friend, I've known him for a while, we've supported each other through some down times in the past. He is known in the community where I live and he never took me beyond where I could go. He is THE ONLY PERSON I know who I would have allowed/trusted to do this for me.

Regarding the therapeautic aspect - I'm actually quite self-aware, we worked on the "ritual" together beforehand and there were no surprises, nor was there any humiliation, discipline, etc. It was guided, loving and nurturing throughout. And yes, he's been trained in the process. It helped with my current situation - particularly my losses related to herpes and my recent relationship.

My sister and best friend have both commented that I am more myself than I have been since contracting HSV. I have also been able to work and write again with a degree of concentration and enjoyment that I haven't had since I contracted it. It wasn't a band-aid; it resulted in significant change. I'm not naive. I understand that lasting change takes work and have been waiting to start talk therapy at my HMO, but it's a long process just to get in. This helped me not only to stabilize, but to understand important aspects of my personal responses to loss.

Please check your arrogance - your assumption that you could possibly know me well enough from one posting to assume that I didn't understand the risks I took or what I went through is a bit much.

~ Neon

Hmmmmm.

Hmmmmm.

HMMMMMMMMMMM.

I don't know if I like the sounds of this. Hear me out. Firstly, while I would argue that BDSM can certainly have many positive aspects on a person's mental and emotional state, I'm not so convinced with this "cleansing" session. The lack of a safe word definitely troubles me. It smacks of irresponsibility, ESPECIALLY if this Dom is claiming to have a theraputic know-how. Does he have creditials as a legitimate therapist? Do you know if this session actually helped you're current emotional situation, or did it just offer a band-aid solution for deeper problems?

Don't mean to be a downer with your experience. If it does work for you in the long-run, as opposed to just temporarily masking a larger issue, then I'm sure things will work out. I'm just always a bit leary about some of the comments you've made.

 

[O'Mac]

Please check your arrogance - your assumption that you could possibly know me well enough from one posting to assume that I didn't understand the risks I took or what I went through is a bit much.

You might want to check yours as well. If you read through quite a bit of my posts here, you'll note that I tend to put a very high emphasis on safety and personal well-being with regards to the lifestyle.

I find it odd that you've become so defensive over my remarks, especially as it is of a legitimate concern of your emotional well-being.