bdsm and marriage

[tyme]

I love to get spankings and I want to try more. I don't think my husband would be willing to really try it. no that's not true he would try it but he would not let go of fear of hurting me and it would keep him from enjoying himself.

He was just getting to that point with the spankings and with my last one he was great. However I now have bruises from it and I worry that it will hold him back again.

His biggest fear is hurting me. To mark me like that to him is not good. To me its great he did not hurt me in a bad way. I would have told him to stop if he had.

Any tips to help reassure him? If he does not want to do it thats fine I cant make him but I need it in some ways does that make sense?

 

[bunny bondage]

well, i guess one thing to do is to perhaps explain the particular things about it that you like and why you like them. tell him why you think the bruises are great, why you love getting spanked. perhaps introducing reason would allow for him to logically explain to himself that he is not hurting you. it sounds to me like he just can't see how much you like it, can't get past the idea that it must hurt.

 

[zipman]

I love to get spankings and I want to try more. I don't think my husband would be willing to really try it. no that's not true he would try it but he would not let go of fear of hurting me and it would keep him from enjoying himself.

He was just getting to that point with the spankings and with my last one he was great. However I now have bruises from it and I worry that it will hold him back again.

His biggest fear is hurting me. To mark me like that to him is not good. To me its great he did not hurt me in a bad way. I would have told him to stop if he had.

Any tips to help reassure him? If he does not want to do it thats fine I cant make him but I need it in some ways does that make sense?

I had many of the same feelings as he did once upon a time. The first time I left marks on a woman I felt horrible. When she told me that it made her feel great the next day seeing them there it really made me feel better about it.

The way she explained it to me, they were reminders of the passion we had shared. Knowing that she viewed them that way made a difference to me.

 

[WillowPuss]

Have you agreed safe words?

That was the way that Robuck coped with the vision that he would hurt me. I explained that at the first sign of it hurting in a bad way, I would eith yellow or red out!!!

Ohhhhhhh and have you tried having him spank you whilst you are standing face to face? That way, he can see your face - that might convince him that you are really enjoying yourself.

 

[tyme]

We made up safe words right off. WE have never tried the face to face, I will have to see about that.