BDSM- a 24/7 lifestyle?

[LunachickXXX]

Hello All,

This may be a bit ambitious, but I'd really love to talk and discuss this topic. The question I pose to you all:

Is BDSM a 24/7 lifestyle for you?
...Or perhaps you're a weekend-warrior?
Norm by day, freak at night?
Or do you just enjoy a good spanking once in a while?

Some additional talking points: Do you advertise your involvement in the community or do you keep your gear in the closet where no one can see? How has being "out" about your lifestyle helped you positively? Any negative impacts?

I'll give my answer after a few replies I want to see what you all think first.

-Luna XXX

 

[CutieMouse]

24/7 (regardless of relationship status) in that I never stop being myself, so yes, I suppose, but I don't look at it as a "lifestyle".

I'm neither "outed" nor "closeted", I'm just me. Anyone who spends significant time with me will pick up on certain things - a coworker summed it up best by saying "Don't ask M direct questions about her relationships/personal life unless you really want to know the answer." LOL

 

[LunachickXXX]

I suppose to say "outed" implies that at some point you were "hidden" so in your case, you were always open and honest with those who asked about it. Good for you = )

But as for the 24/7 aspect...I understand that you are you 24/7, however you define yourself. So really what I'm probing to see is more specifically, if people are wearing corsets under their work-clothes, getting tied up every night, or asking their PYL's permission when they go to the grocery store or perform daily tasks, not just sexual or relationship-related ones? Or perhaps there are some out there who want to devote their lives entirely to a 24/7 dungeon or slave-situation? These are just some examples, it obviously changes based on what you're into, and what sort of relationship you're in. If anyone out there has examples like this, share here.

 

[callinectes2]

I don't wear corsets under my clothes, I don't get tied up and spanked every night, I don't really have to ask permission to go to the store (that one is not absolute) but I am in a 24/7 BDSM relationship.

If I had to be a dungeon-style slave 24/7 I think I'd be exhausted. And bored.

 

[FungiUg]

I think we've had related discussions on this topic many times.

I don't regard BDSM as my "lifestyle", as that encompasses so many things. BDSM is something that is a part of my life, and it's "always on", but it's not something I'm always doing something about.

I can see myself headed more towards 24x7 with my partner, especially when she and I are living together. But I doubt it will, in reality, ever be that. Maybe the closest will be 24x7 availability.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm just me.

With a hot new av.



*le sigh*

I'm otherwise far too confused right now to answer this thread. Yuck.

 

[Bandit58]

We're just your normal married couple.....

I'm hardly ever tied up, I'm spanked occasionally (for fun - I've never been punished) and I wear normal everyday clothes. However I do wear a silver padlock on a chain as a representative collar.

Regarding household stuff like shopping, I just get on and do it. We've been together for over 6 years now so I know my responsibilities I'm more of a service submissive than a sexual one (although I do enjoy that aspect of it ). Sir doesn't have the energy to be micromanaging me or making me get dressed up in "theme" every day. The only kneeling I do is mostly to put a tape in the VCR

Our friends know we are D/s (most of them are vanilla, some get it some don't but it's all good). There are subtle nuances involved...like I will get His food before my own if we're at a bbq for instance.

Probably all rather boring really

 

[LunachickXXX]

Thank you all for posting. I've never been in a BDSM relationship, so I'm really just trying to get a perspective from the outside. I suppose trying to figure out what the subtle differences are, what to expect... Any switches out there in relationships?... And I apologize if this was a double thread; new here so I haven't worked back that far into the forums yet.

In reply to Bandit58: It seems like you enjoy a comfortable loving relationship, with a twist. I'd find myself doing these things little submissive things naturally too, but then I have a dominant side as well and like to take control sometimes.

In reply to FungiUg: I totally see what you mean by "always on" but yet, you're not actively running that program all day, but it's always there when you want it you can access it.

In reply to callinectes2: Exactly.. and if anyone is in a dungeon 24/7 and not exhausted I'd like to know what they feed you there...

 

[MasterPhoenix]

It is what it is and I am what I am.

Certain people don't know the details, but they don't need to know.

 

[cujo13]

We're not 24/7. We've been together since 84. We're in our late 50's. She's (wife) the dom. I'm the sub. Never switch. No children. All of our activity takes place at home, except for the few times she lent me out to friends several years ago. Age and health have slowed things down some, but we still "do it" and it will last days rather then hours. Will spare details here. In public we're happily married well adjusted folks. Some good friends know, but not many. It's just part of who we are.

 

[wisk]

Have had relatioships with submissive women and women who I would class as submissive's, myself and my current pet live together 24/7 and this for me is the first time I have done this although not her.

For me was something that I had not wanted to consider (24/7) before despite being previously married to someone with submissive tendensies, so far has worked out well I would say our BDSM side is not on 24/7 although like many sub's best not allowed her head as can play up at anytime.

With regard to BDSM in sex play only role play as a submissive works for her.
Do others know some do some don't but it reflects in most of our interactions in some way. She is by nature imposing as 5ft 10 stcking feet size 12 european except 38dd bust and a strong Ulster accent and dominant nature for her the feeling of being vulnerable and small is important she has no wish to be worshipped or given in to.