pretentious_avocado
Virgin
- Joined
- May 12, 2019
- Posts
- 5
Basically, a glorified phone sex post, but I'm "pretentious" so we had to get fancy
Cuddly, gentle-voiced male seeks similarly cuddly, sweet-voiced female for an evening (and morning, if we're good) of aural shenanigans to possibly include:
- Seeing who knows the worst jokes
- Discussing deep, profound philosophical topics
- Laughing at each other's bad jokes even though they are genuinely terrible just to make the other person feel better
- Opening the innermost sanctums of our hearts and inviting one another in with terrifying vulnerability
- Boring one another with lurid tales of our days, adventures, dreams, and arrays of life experience
- Finding (and, subsequently playing and harshly judging) really bad video games to make fun of
- Copious amounts of orgasms
If this sounds like your kind of arrangement/night/summer, won't you send me a message including:
- Your age
- Your gender (which should be "F" but hey man you never know nowadays)
- Whether or not you have a personality (with a substantial preference towards "yes")
- Your general availability to *actually talk*, ranging on a scale from "all yours 24/7 including pee breaks" to "only after 1:35am Tuesday and Thursday when the husband and kids are asleep"
- A fun fact (clean or dirty, it's a free country) you'd like me to know about you before I know anything else
- Your preferred voice-capable chat platform and username
I'll be around - if you're reading this, you should say hi.
Cuddly, gentle-voiced male seeks similarly cuddly, sweet-voiced female for an evening (and morning, if we're good) of aural shenanigans to possibly include:
- Seeing who knows the worst jokes
- Discussing deep, profound philosophical topics
- Laughing at each other's bad jokes even though they are genuinely terrible just to make the other person feel better
- Opening the innermost sanctums of our hearts and inviting one another in with terrifying vulnerability
- Boring one another with lurid tales of our days, adventures, dreams, and arrays of life experience
- Finding (and, subsequently playing and harshly judging) really bad video games to make fun of
- Copious amounts of orgasms
If this sounds like your kind of arrangement/night/summer, won't you send me a message including:
- Your age
- Your gender (which should be "F" but hey man you never know nowadays)
- Whether or not you have a personality (with a substantial preference towards "yes")
- Your general availability to *actually talk*, ranging on a scale from "all yours 24/7 including pee breaks" to "only after 1:35am Tuesday and Thursday when the husband and kids are asleep"
- A fun fact (clean or dirty, it's a free country) you'd like me to know about you before I know anything else
- Your preferred voice-capable chat platform and username
I'll be around - if you're reading this, you should say hi.
I'm sure you'll have loads of offers
