bashing jokes

[woodnymph_O]

A RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T".
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS..........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT.".

had to pass this along after it was sent to me
Only thing I dont understand is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ,stil being a girl friend, do I gain 45 pounds when I become a wife , or have to lose 45 to become one lol
Nymphy

 

[cantdog]

Wifing requires more mass. It's a matter of leverage.

 

[Guest]

Wifing requires more mass. It's a matter of leverage.

More mass for the woman or the man, cant? (Now I'm worrying about the size of my butt cheeks. . . )

Another thought - just where would the extra man-mass be located?

 

[cantdog]

Poughkeepsie, gorgeous.

And you know perfectly well you have divine butt cheeks.

 

[Guest]

Mmmm, how easily you make me purr.

 

[doormouse]

In my best town caller's voice...

"butcher's knives.... butcher's knives for sale..."

 

[Songcatcher]

Pity post.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Wifing requires more mass. It's a matter of leverage.

Reminds me of that old math formula:

The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat as squared by the mass of the ass given that the urge to surge remains constant.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[TheEarl]

Reminds me of that old math formula:

The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat as squared by the mass of the ass given that the urge to surge remains constant.

Rumple Foreskin

Rumple: Who said that? Was it Tom Lehrer? Flanders and Swann? I know the quote and now it's getting on my pecs that I can't remember who said it.

The Earl

 

[sweetnpetite]

I find your misandry astounding and disheatening

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Rumple: Who said that? Was it Tom Lehrer? Flanders and Swann? I know the quote and now it's getting on my pecs that I can't remember who said it.

The Earl

Earl, to the best of my knowledge that routine has just "growed." There are many variations including the line, "multiplied by the throb of the knob." I double-checked the wording on the 'net prior to posting and saw nothing about its "origin." I've always imagined it was begun some whacked out math majors sitting around drinking beer on Saturday night and wishing they had a date.

Rumple Foreskin