Barack Obama wants a playoff; instead, here's TB4p's SEVENTH Annual Confidence Pickem

[teddybear4play]

Christ, if we get one I may even vote for the man.

But until then, even though this system utterly, utterly sucks donkey dong, I STILL love college football, talking smack, and side bets that hopefully include showing boobies (please?). So, just as the swallows come back to Capistrano, cold sores return to your face when you have herpes simplex-2, and college football fans come back to discussing who got fucked and how hard by this stupid fucking system, I have pilgrimaged to Lit's GB to emcee the festivities of the College Confidence Bowl Pick'em.

HERE'S THE FUCKING RULES: Pick the winner of each of the thirty-four bowl games (34 now? Christ, they're like fucking rabbits with how they're multiplying) and assign each team a distinct number between 1 and 34 based on how confident you are in their victory. Your team wins, you get that amount of points. Your team loses, you get fellated. Oh wait, that's just when I lose. It's good to be the King.

Use each number from 1 to 34 once and only once. All picks must be submitted by kickoff of the first bowl, the Holy Crap It's Something Other Than The San Diego County Poinsettia Bowl This Time, which, whatever the fuck it is, is Saturday, December 20 at 11 am EST. The maximum number of points is now 595, because when I first wrote this I said it was 599, but evidently I can't count.

Everyone's invited. You don't have to know dick about college football; all you need to know how to do is flip a coin and count to 34. And with some of the tits around here, 34 is not an unfathomable number. It also helps if you can talk a good game, even if you have no intention on delivering it. Go ahead and promise lap dances or sex on trampolines. We don't take anything too seriously here.

Also, I'm officially floating the idea of granting a headstart to all contestants with boobs, perhaps one-fourth of a point per bust size inch. I don't give a red fuck if it's fair or not; we need more women in this, goddammit.

Now then, here are the games, and as tradition I don't use the sponsors' names if I can help it, because 1) they're so goddamn dumb, 2) it's because of those greedy bastards that the NCAA still has its head up its ass about a playoff, and 3) did I mention they're fucking stupid??!? I mean, sweet smoking Christ on a snowboard, two bowls are sponsored by local banks, one is by a shitty late-night infomercial product, and I think technically American taxpayers are footing the bill for the Rose Bowl this year, so we should get a cut of the proceeds.

Anyway, here's the list:

Saturday, December 20
EagleBank: Wake Forest vs. Navy
New Mexico: Colorado State vs. Fresno State
St. Petersburg: Memphis vs. South Florida
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Arizona

Sunday, December 21
New Orleans: Southern Miss vs. Troy

Tuesday, December 23
Poinsettia: Boise State vs. TCU

Wednesday, December 24
Hawaii: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame

Friday, December 26
Motor City: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan

Saturday, December 27
Meineke: West Virginia vs. North Carolina
Champs Sports: Wisconsin vs. Florida State
Emerald: Miami (FL) vs. California

Sunday, December 28
Independence: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech

Monday, December 29
Papajohns.com: NC State vs. Rutgers
Alamo: Missouri vs. Northwestern

Tuesday, December 30
Humanitarian: Maryland vs. Nevada
Texas: Rice vs. Western Michigan
Holiday: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon

Wednesday, December 31
Armed Forces: Houston vs. Air Force
Sun: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh
Music City: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt
Insight: Kansas vs. Minnesota
Chick-fil-A: LSU vs. Georgia Tech

Thursday, January 1
Outback: South Carolina vs. Iowa
Capital One: Georgia vs. Michigan State
Gator: Clemson vs. Nebraska
Rose: Penn State vs. USC
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech

Friday, January 2
Cotton: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech
Liberty: Kentucky vs. East Carolina
Sugar: Utah vs. Alabama

Saturday, January 3
International: Buffalo vs. Connecticut

Monday, January 5
Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas

Tuesday, January 6
GMAC: Tulsa vs. Ball State

Thursday, January 8
BCS Championship Game: Florida vs. Oklahoma


Once more, with feeling: use every number once, only once, exactly once. This is the seventh time; who's gettin' lucky this year?

TB4p

 

[Wrong Element]

March Madness was Elemental.
The College Pick 'Em and Spread competitions this season: likewise mine.

This is the year I complete the clean sweep. Mark it down. Unless I finish last again, in which case put me on Ignore.

 

[teddybear4play]

And here are my picks, as always hastily produced and totally full of shit:

EagleBank: Wake Forest vs. Navy Navy 10
New Mexico: Colorado State vs. Fresno State Fresno State 16
St. Petersburg: Memphis vs. South Florida South Florida 17
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Arizona BYU 24
New Orleans: Southern Miss vs. Troy Southern Miss 19
Poinsettia: Boise State vs. TCU Boise State 18
Hawaii: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame Notre Dame 34, because I'm a fucking moron
Motor City: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan Central Michigan 20
Meineke: West Virginia vs. North Carolina West Virginia 25
Champs Sports: Wisconsin vs. Florida State Florida State 14
Emerald: Miami (FL) vs. California California 3
Independence: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech Northern Illinois 1
Papajohns.com: NC State vs. Rutgers NC State 9
Alamo: Missouri vs. Northwestern Missouri 26
Humanitarian: Maryland vs. Nevada Nevada 2
Texas: Rice vs. Western Michigan Western Michigan 8
Holiday: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon Oklahoma State 15
Armed Forces: Houston vs. Air Force Air Force 7
Sun: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh Oregon State 22
Music City: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt Boston College 21
Insight: Kansas vs. Minnesota Kansas 29
Chick-fil-A: LSU vs. Georgia Tech Georgia Tech 13
Outback: South Carolina vs. Iowa Iowa 11
Capital One: Georgia vs. Michigan State Michigan State 12
Gator: Clemson vs. Nebraska Nebraska 23
Rose: Penn State vs. USC USC 33
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech Virginia Tech 31
Cotton: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech Texas Tech 28
Liberty: Kentucky vs. East Carolina East Carolina 6
Sugar: Utah vs. Alabama Alabama 27
International: Buffalo vs. Connecticut Buffalo 4
Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas Texas 32
GMAC: Tulsa vs. Ball State Ball State 5
National Championship: Florida vs. Oklahoma Oklahoma 30

TB4p

 

[KRCummings]

Saturday, December 20
EagleBank: Wake Forest vs. Navy: Navy - 8
New Mexico: Colorado State vs. Fresno State: Fresno - 7
St. Petersburg: Memphis vs. South Florida: South Florida - 23
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Arizona : BYU - 6
Sunday, December 21
New Orleans: Southern Miss vs. Troy : Troy - 9

Tuesday, December 23
Poinsettia: Boise State vs. TCU: Boise St. - 34

Wednesday, December 24
Hawaii: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame : ND - 24

Friday, December 26
Motor City: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan: Central MI-33

Saturday, December 27
Meineke: West Virginia vs. North Carolina: West Virginia - 5
Champs Sports: Wisconsin vs. Florida State: Wisconsin - 25
Emerald: Miami (FL) vs. California: Cal - 10

Sunday, December 28
Independence: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech : Northern Ill - 11

Monday, December 29
Papajohns.com: NC State vs. Rutgers: Rutgers - 12
Alamo: Missouri vs. Northwestern: Northwestern - 4
Tuesday, December 30
Humanitarian: Maryland vs. Nevada: Nevada - 3
Texas: Rice vs. Western Michigan: Western - 26
Holiday: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon: Oregon - 27

Wednesday, December 31
Armed Forces: Houston vs. Air Force: Houston - 2
Sun: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh: Oregon St. - 28
Music City: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt: BC - 1
Insight: Kansas vs. Minnesota: Kansas - 13
Chick-fil-A: LSU vs. Georgia Tech: LSU - 22

Thursday, January 1
Outback: South Carolina vs. Iowa: South Carolina - 21
Capital One: Georgia vs. Michigan State : Georgia - 29
Gator: Clemson vs. Nebraska : Nebraska - 20
Rose: Penn State vs. USC: USC - 30
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech: Cinncinnati - 19

Friday, January 2
Cotton: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech: Texas Tech - 18
Liberty: Kentucky vs. East Carolina: Kentucky - 17
Sugar: Utah vs. Alabama: Alabama - 14

Saturday, January 3
International: Buffalo vs. Connecticut: Buffalo - 15

Monday, January 5
Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas: THE Ohio State University - 32

Tuesday, January 6
GMAC: Tulsa vs. Ball State: Ball St. - 31

Thursday, January 8
BCS Championship Game: Florida vs. Oklahoma: Forida - 16

 

[KRCummings]

March Madness was Elemental.
The College Pick 'Em and Spread competitions this season: likewise mine.

This is the year I complete the clean sweep. Mark it down. Unless I finish last again, in which case put me on Ignore.

You beat me by 1 point on the Pick 'Em. 1 fucking point.

 

[KRCummings]

Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas Texas 32


TB4p

Dude. WTF?

 

[teddybear4play]

I may pick Notre Dame every year, but you pick ND and Ohio State. That's gotta win the Banging Your Head Against The Wall Award.

I also have no idea who "Forida" is. Are they the "Gazongas" we hear of so often?

GO FORIDA GAZONGAS!

TB4p

 

[KRCummings]

I may pick Notre Dame every year, but you pick ND and Ohio State. That's gotta win the Banging Your Head Against The Wall Award.

I also have no idea who "Forida" is. Are they the "Gazongas" we hear of so often?

GO FORIDA GAZONGAS!

TB4p

The only reason I picked ND was because they're playing Hawaii. I have no excuse for 'Forida.'

 

[Wrong Element]

I may pick Notre Dame every year, but you pick ND and Ohio State. That's gotta win the Banging Your Head Against The Wall Award.

You do realize Oklahoma has lost its last 4 BCS bowls, right?

And as an Irish fan, you HAVE to remember Ohio State winning not so very long ago.

 

[teddybear4play]

You do realize Oklahoma has lost its last 4 BCS bowls, right?

And as an Irish fan, you HAVE to remember Ohio State winning not so very long ago.

I answer thusly:

Ohio State < SEC.
SEC < Big 12.

Also, if Texas (who, by the way, beat Oklahoma) pastes Ohio State and the Championship Game is a squeaker, they could steal half a championship, a.k.a. "The Pete Carroll Special."

TB4p

 

[KRCummings]

I answer thusly:

Ohio State < SEC.
SEC < Big 12.

Also, if Texas (who, by the way, beat Oklahoma) pastes Ohio State and the Championship Game is a squeaker, they could steal half a championship, a.k.a. "The Pete Carroll Special."

TB4p

If Texas wins (and I'll concede that they certainly are capable of doing it) it won't be a blow out. Only a total domination will give them a chance and that's not going to happen.

 

[hogjack]

If Texas wins (and I'll concede that they certainly are capable of doing it) it won't be a blow out. Only a total domination will give them a chance and that's not going to happen.

On one hand Ohio State has been demolished in two straight BCS bowl games and in its most recent big game against USC. Completely and utterly smoked in all three of those games. And Ohio State also lost this season against the only other BCS team on its schedule, Penn State.

In the two toughest games on OSU's schedule this year they scored 9 points. Texas - on the other hand - scores nine points while sitting in their locker room. Seriously, the Longhorns are going to put up a huge, huge number on Ohio State. Can OSU keep up with a high-scoring team?

However, OSU fares very well against Big 12 teams. Maybe that trend will continue. Highly unlikely unless they can make it a low-scoring field position battle.

 

[hogjack]

If Texas wins (and I'll concede that they certainly are capable of doing it) ....

You realize it is the University of Texas that OSU is playing, not Texas Christian University, right?

 

[KRCummings]

On one hand Ohio State has been demolished in two straight BCS bowl games and in its most recent big game against USC. Completely and utterly smoked in all three of those games. And Ohio State also lost this season against the only other BCS team on its schedule, Penn State.

In the two toughest games on OSU's schedule this year they scored 9 points. Texas - on the other hand - scores nine points while sitting in their locker room. Seriously, the Longhorns are going to put up a huge, huge number on Ohio State. Can OSU keep up with a high-scoring team?

However, OSU fares very well against Big 12 teams. Maybe that trend will continue. Highly unlikely unless they can make it a low-scoring field position battle.

The blowout this year was all on Tressel. He out-coached himself. If they played that game today OSU might still lose but it wouldn't be 35-3.
The PSU game was close and PSU was ultimately the better team. They've proven that all year with one odd exception.
The Buckeyes today are not the same team that played a couple months ago. They'll stay with Texas. Whether or not they'll win is up for debate of course but it will most likely be close.

 

[Alt]

You realize it is the University of Texas that OSU is playing, not Texas Christian University, right?

TCU would even beat the fuckeyes this year.

 

[KRCummings]

TCU would even beat the fuckeyes this year.

They had a slow start, give 'em a break.
The QB situation was a mess that shouldn't have been and it hurt the whole team.

 

[Alt]

They had a slow start, give 'em a break.
The QB situation was a mess that shouldn't have been and it hurt the whole team.

Agree, but TCU's defense would still get the better of State. Pryor is still young and more likely to make mistakes in a close one, be it against UT or TCU.

 

[Wrong Element]

On one hand Ohio State has been demolished in two straight BCS bowl games and in its most recent big game against USC. Completely and utterly smoked in all three of those games. And Ohio State also lost this season against the only other BCS team on its schedule, Penn State.

In the two toughest games on OSU's schedule this year they scored 9 points. Texas - on the other hand - scores nine points while sitting in their locker room. Seriously, the Longhorns are going to put up a huge, huge number on Ohio State. Can OSU keep up with a high-scoring team?

However, OSU fares very well against Big 12 teams. Maybe that trend will continue. Highly unlikely unless they can make it a low-scoring field position battle.

I have some of the same concerns--I think one problem Ohio State has had in these games, and it was a particular issue in the USC game this year, is that they assume everybody is going to play a conservative, field position, Big Ten type of game. By the time they realize otherwise and flip the switch, they're down by 21 points. And the current edition of the Buckeyes, which believes in starting 2 possession receivers and keeping all its speed on the bench, is not suited to come from behind in any way.

We'll see what Texas can do against an effective defense. They haven't faced one in 2008. And you're correct that Ohio State has done very well against Big 12 teams in the postseason, including 2 BCS wins. I don't think the Buckeyes should be favored and I doubt I will pick them, but it's always easy to overrate a team that wins 63-45 as opposed to winning 17-10. We'll see how these Big 12 teams fare outside the no-D bubble they've been in for the last 4 months.

I just think it's amusing that TB4P is so down on Ohio State (career BCS record 4-2) and so sure Oklahoma will win, when the Sooners 4 most recent BCS appearances are as follows: loss to LSU in the Sugar Bowl, utter destruction vs. USC, a loss to BOISE FUCKING STATE, and a blowout against a West Virginia team whose coach had been on the job for about 12 minutes. Anyone who thinks Ohio State has been the biggest BCS chokers doesn't have a memory that predates 2006.

 

[teddybear4play]

I just think it's amusing that TB4P is so down on Ohio State (career BCS record 4-2) and so sure Oklahoma will win, when the Sooners 4 most recent BCS appearances are as follows: loss to LSU in the Sugar Bowl, utter destruction vs. USC, a loss to BOISE FUCKING STATE, and a blowout against a West Virginia team whose coach had been on the job for about 12 minutes. Anyone who thinks Ohio State has been the biggest BCS chokers doesn't have a memory that predates 2006.

True, but it's been my contention ever since USC lost that whoever made it out of the Big 12 South alive would win the National Championship. They have simply destroyed everyone they have played except each other, and if that sounds like a stupid argument, well, it's what everyone slurping the SEC has been using for the last two years.

(I also think it should be Texas in this game, but I have no sympathy for them, given that their conference was responsible for making the contestants in their championship game dependent on the stupid BCS system. They should have lost to Texas Tech before beating Oklahoma, because everyone knows it's not whom you lose to, it's when you lose to them.)

Meanwhile, Florida just barely got by Alabama, and Alabama had been coasting on beating teams that were exposed to be patsies, like Clemson and Georgia. So my call for Oklahoma is less because I have a giant man-crush on OU and more because I'm not terribly impressed with Florida, even though Tim Tebow is a man-freak who'll only lose the Heisman because he didn't have as good a year as he did last year (and oh yeah, Sam Bradford's team scores four points every time he takes a dump).

That, and generally the team getting their cocks sucked more loses. That's a tough call this year, but I think the recent rediscovery of how much ass Tim Tebow kicks pushes Florida to the favorite and OU to the vaunted underdog.




Also, OU also doesn't have a vocal cheerleader in this thread like OSU does in KRC. Needling her is one of the reasons why I continue to come back here and do this.

TB4p

 

[Lasher]

EagleBank: Wake Forest vs. Navy -- Navy 21
New Mexico: Colorado State vs. Fresno State -- Fresno State 11
St. Petersburg: Memphis vs. South Florida -- South Florida 31
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Arizona -- BYU 22
New Orleans: Southern Miss vs. Troy -- Southern Miss 10
Poinsettia: Boise State vs. TCU -- Boise State 34
Hawaii: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame -- Hawaii 23
Motor City: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan -- Central Michigan 24
Meineke: West Virginia vs. North Carolina -- West Virginia 25
Champs Sports: Wisconsin vs. Florida State -- Florida State 12
Emerald: Miami vs. California -- California 26
Independence: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech -- Louisiana Tech 13
Papajohns.com: NC State vs. Rutgers -- Rutgers 32
Alamo: Missouri vs. Northwestern -- Missouri 28
Humanitarian: Maryland vs. Nevada -- Maryland 27
Texas: Rice vs. Western Michigan -- Western Michigan 9
Holiday: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon -- Oregon 14
Armed Forces: Houston vs. Air Force -- Air Force 8
Sun: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh -- Pittsburgh 3
Music City: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt -- Boston College 29
Insight: Kansas vs. Minnesota -- Kansas 7
Chick-fil-A: LSU vs. Georgia Tech -- Georgia Tech 15
Outback: South Carolina vs. Iowa -- Iowa 16
Capital One: Georgia vs. Michigan State -- Georgia 6
Gator: Clemson vs. Nebraska -- Clemson 5
Rose: Penn State vs. USC -- Penn State 2
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech -- Cincinnati 17
Cotton: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech -- Texas Tech 18
Liberty: Kentucky vs. East Carolina -- East Carolina 4
Sugar: Utah vs. Alabama -- Alabama 19
International: Buffalo vs. Connecticut -- Buffalo 20
Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas -- Texas 33
GMAC: Tulsa vs. Ball State -- Tulsa 30
National Championship: Florida vs. Oklahoma -- Oklahoma 1

 

[Lasher]

Dude. WTF?

Ohio St shouldn't be on the same field with Texas. It's the men agains the girls.

It's a shame the Fiesta Bowl didn't have the balls to pick Boise St for that game.

 

[Radiohead]

This is the seventh time; who's gettin' lucky this year?

I'm due to get lucky once a year, right?

 

[Radiohead]

why does everyone think Boise is gonna roll so hard over TCU? I just dont get it. I'm not going to do my picks till later, but that was my automatic 1 coin toss for that.

 

[MakersandIce]

Teams in red are my choices.



EagleBank: Wake Forest vs. Navy 21
New Mexico: Colorado State vs. Fresno State 17
St. Petersburg: Memphis vs. South Florida 13
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Arizona 30
New Orleans: Southern Miss vs. Troy 31
Poinsettia: Boise State vs. TCU 32
Hawaii: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame 3
Motor City: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan 4
Meineke: West Virginia vs. North Carolina 16
Champs Sports: Wisconsin vs. Florida State 11
Emerald: Miami (FL) vs. California 14
Independence: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech 5
Papajohns.com: NC State vs. Rutgers 24
Alamo: Missouri vs. Northwestern 23
Humanitarian: Maryland vs. Nevada 9
Texas: Rice vs. Western Michigan 26
Holiday: Oklahoma State vs. Oregon6
Armed Forces: Houston vs. Air Force 1
Sun: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh 19
Music City: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt 28
Insight: Kansas vs. Minnesota 34
Chick-fil-A: LSU vs. Georgia Tech 22
Outback: South Carolina vs. Iowa 12
Capital One: Georgia vs. Michigan State 18
Gator: Clemson vs. Nebraska 8
Rose: Penn State vs. USC 2
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech10
Cotton: Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech15
Liberty: Kentucky vs. East Carolina 20
Sugar: Utah vs. Alabama 7
International: Buffalo vs. Connecticut 25
Fiesta: Ohio State vs. Texas 27
GMAC: Tulsa vs. Ball State 29
BCS Championship Game: Florida vs. Oklahoma 33

 

[Ham Murabi]

As the regular season college confidence champ (ahem), I'll consider my selections carefully, ponder various conference strengths and weaknesses - and then I'll check who the bookies think will win and go by that.
I'll be back.

As for Oklahoma's loss last year in the Fiesta:
The Sooners best defensive back didn't play due to injury, the second best defensive back didn't play due to academic issues, and a starting tackle was sent home for shoplifting.
On offense the best running back didn't play due to injury, and ditto the best wide receiver.
Besides, OU started some gangly freshman at quarterback.