Banned in Tennessee: Gateway Sexual Activities!

[3113]

You can't make this shit up (from here):

NASHVILLE, Tenn (Reuters) - Tennessee teachers can no longer condone so-called "gateway sexual activity" such as touching genitals under a new law that critics say is too vague and could hamper discussion about safe sexual behavior.

Governor Bill Haslam's office Friday confirmed that he had signed the bill, which stirred up controversy nationwide and even was lampooned by comedian Stephen Colbert. "Kissing and hugging are the last stop before reaching Groin Central Station, so it's important to ban all the things that lead to the things that lead to sex," he said on the "Colbert Report" television show.

But proponents say the new law helps define the existing abstinence-only sex-education policy. Under the law, Tennessee teachers could be disciplined and speakers from outside groups like Planned Parenthood could face fines of up to $500 for promoting or condoning "gateway sexual activities."

I guess sex ed classes in Tennessee are really short. "Don't touch or do anything!"

I predict a rise in the popularity of our erotica in Tennessee.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

Whenever I think that we are becoming progressive, someone always takes a huge step back

Prop 8, the birth control fiasco, Santorum...

I just wish some people would have some goddamn SENSE

 

[lovecraft68]

Well let's take it a step further, and have separate schools for boys and girls. After all this all starts with the eyes. You see a pretty girl or cute guy you smile, they smile back, you talk, you hold hands, you make out you....

Yup from now on no social interaction in the schools. And now what are we going to do about the gays? That confuses things. A gay boy should be in the girls school so not to bother the boys, but what if he were pretending to be gay?

This is getting complicated.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Next, I suppose they will outlaw kissing on the mouth, except for married heterosexual couples. I can see it now: The preacher says, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." When he does kiss her mouth for the first time ever, one says: "Oh, yuck. I never realized how bad your breath is."

 

[RjThoughts]

Next, I suppose they will outlaw kissing on the mouth, except for married heterosexual couples. I can see it now: The preacher says, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." When he does kiss her mouth for the first time ever, one says: "Oh, yuck. I never realized how bad your breath is."

Oh there are places in the south where my wife and I have been asked NOT to do pda's!! And it didn't come from our teenage son!!!

For every progressive step in sexuality, there is some southern state which takes two steps back.

 

[Saxon Stonedyke]

It's worse than you think down here

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/may/11/market-square-cafe-runs-afoul-of-no-dancing-rule/


Nobody could dance a jig on St. Patrick's Day at Cocoa Moon on Market Square.

Nor can one salsa, shag or rhythmically sashay, because the cafe has no city permit for dancing.

"We had so many people," Cocoa Moon manager Alenis Jimenez said of March 17. "These three people were sitting, and then they started dancing."

A Knoxville police officer saw the impromptu disco and cited the cafe, which cost it $114.50 in city court April 20 because they don't have a "retailer's on- and off-premises with dancing permit".

 

[Handley_Page]

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/may/11/market-square-cafe-runs-afoul-of-no-dancing-rule/


Nobody could dance a jig on St. Patrick's Day at Cocoa Moon on Market Square.

Nor can one salsa, shag or rhythmically sashay, because the cafe has no city permit for dancing.

"We had so many people," Cocoa Moon manager Alenis Jimenez said of March 17. "These three people were sitting, and then they started dancing."

A Knoxville police officer saw the impromptu disco and cited the cafe, which cost it $114.50 in city court April 20 because they don't have a "retailer's on- and off-premises with dancing permit".

Warning
Do NOTHING without a Permit.

 

[beatrice_dreams]

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/may/11/market-square-cafe-runs-afoul-of-no-dancing-rule/


Nobody could dance a jig on St. Patrick's Day at Cocoa Moon on Market Square.

Nor can one salsa, shag or rhythmically sashay, because the cafe has no city permit for dancing.

"We had so many people," Cocoa Moon manager Alenis Jimenez said of March 17. "These three people were sitting, and then they started dancing."

A Knoxville police officer saw the impromptu disco and cited the cafe, which cost it $114.50 in city court April 20 because they don't have a "retailer's on- and off-premises with dancing permit".

As I once heard of the Baptists...sex just has to be banned. Because, as you know, it could lead to dancing.

 

[TE999]

They never learn.

The more something is forbidden, especially when it involves teens, the more people become curious about it and want to try it. Prohibition comes to mind, not to mention the anti-smoking, no fattening foods and Merryjuwanna banning zealots.

I think some people truly enjoy looking like idiots from the piney woods.

 

[kitten1964]

LOL...ah, how refreshing the Bible Belt is!

After all, without them, all those repressed imaginations wouldn't be repressed...festering...coming up with even more kinky and perverted thoughts!

And frankly I would have very little to write about.

I love how people think they can legislate the human imagination. If you have to invest in anything, people, invest in stupidity - it never goes out of style or runs out. The pity is the returns are so small...

 

[3113]

Well, technically, they're not legislating the acts or even imagining the acts. They're just making it against the law for anyone outside of parents to teach kids about such things. Which, as we know, leads to all sorts of interesting experimentation as the kids try to figure out, on their own, what their sex-ed teachers, parents, religious leaders etc. refused to tell them, or couldn't tell them about their private parts.

 

[kitten1964]

I grew up in an area very much like this, so I know whereof I speak...no one is going to tell those kids a darn thing, parents least of all, and they'll in fact do their level best to keep any info away from their kids lest they "corrupt their innocent li'l minds." It's a de facto legislation of the human imagination - and you're right, hormones and kids being what they are, that desire to know will come out somehow.

And I can also assure you, it can come out in some interesting ways...

Hope they're ready for the fun!

*grabs some popcorn and settles in to watch the fun*

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I think Colbert put it best.

Tennessee is right to ban sexual education! Because sex ed leads to teen pregnancy like fire extinguishers lead to fires!

 

[MagicFlute]

Only in America...

So. Let me get this right. The part of America that is banning contact between boys and girls is also the part of American that is aggressively against same sex relationships? Hence the popular global saying... Only in America,

 

[kitten1964]

I think Colbert put it best.

Tennessee is right to ban sexual education! Because sex ed leads to teen pregnancy like fire extinguishers lead to fires!

Ye Gods!
How did I miss this obvious link???
I hope the legislators in Tennessee are reading this right now and banning fire extinguishers! Be pro-active, people!!

Actually, might want to watch saying things like this...next thing ya know, there'll be a news article about someone trying to ban fire extinguishers...!

 

[3113]

So. Let me get this right. The part of America that is banning contact between boys and girls is also the part of American that is aggressively against same sex relationships? Hence the popular global saying... Only in America,

America is doing what America does best...entertaining the rest of the world. We give you both the new Avengers movies, and this silly law for your entertainment.

You're welcome.

 

[wet_special]

Here at Troll Central, ALL of you, with your tragic reading comprehension disability, don't see that according to this statute, teachers can no longer CONDONE little Johnny grabbing little Sally's crotch in the playground. Or anywhere else. Key word here is CONDONE. You literary types ought to know that it's quite possible to be measured and specific in your wording.

I'm sure if there was no sex ed, you would be teaching your kids everything about contraception as well. As will I.

So what does that mean? Why the uproar? I'll tell you: You all want the NEA running other people's children's lives. You want them putting the condom on the cucumber and doing whatever else, sexualizing 11 year olds, and you wonder why the teenage pregnancy rate climbed. All that education doing so much good, it REALLY helped. /sarc

You disgust me.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Out here in 'liberal' California, little Johnny grabs Mercedes butt while she's up on a ladder and he gets expelled within the hour. And our teen pregnancy isn't as high as Tennessee's. It's called sexual harassment, not gate-way sex ed.

 

[wet_special]

Also it's sad that you take Colbert's satirical interpretation of the law, and use that as a basis for what the law means, when he totally misrepresents it. Of course the article, written as propaganda, goes on to describe schools that in your minds, teach kids abstinence, and nothing but. The way I see it, this law would not stop teachers from saying something like "This curriculum also covers various contraception methods, the most effective being abstinence. There is also condoms. This is how they work, this is what they do, this is what happens when they break. There are IUD's. There are pills." ETC ETC ETC no talk of condoning anything here. Colbert of course gets his laughs by misrepresenting facts, that is why he is on Comedy Central and not one of the official news propaganda channels.

 

[topace]

In a way, this makes me glad I was homeschooled. My parents IMHO were bad enough without a teacher confusing me more - I had to wait until I got the net before I could straighten myself out!

 

[wet_special]

In a way, this makes me glad I was homeschooled. My parents IMHO were bad enough without a teacher confusing me more - I had to wait until I got the net before I could straighten myself out!

That's great. Your parents sacrificed a lot, I imagine, to ensure you got an education and were able to pass all your standardized tests.

 

[topace]

I hated tests with a passion (if I didn't get a certain percentage I had to redo 'em) - I ended up sneaking the answers near the end (and getting up early to do so)!

 

[wet_special]

At least you're honest.

Would that our teachers were capable instead of spending their time encouraging Sally to let Johnny rub her crotch "like this" while kissing her as an "alternative" to abstinence.. We know where that really leads though..

 

[topace]

I once read a book where a couple didn't touch at all (not even hugging or kissing) until they were married - now that's what I call extreme!

 

[kitten1964]

Well, Spesh (nice name, btw)

I can read just fine (thank you for your concern though), and I know pretty much exactly how this law will be interpreted in this part of the country...like I said, I grew up in (and still live in, but that's another, painful story) an area just a lil' north of Tennessee - and just as progressive. Sex Ed was left to the parents, who basically said, "Don't." Yeah, that works soooooooo well, which is why the abortion rate was somewhere in the 60-70% range for 14-18 year olds. This was back in the late 70's - early 80's. And there are still pockets of this state that have barely progressed any further to this day. SOMEBODY has to tell these kids the facts of life...or should they get them from the Internet, that fount of all wisdom??