TheCaptain
Aussie Thunder
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2003
- Posts
- 3,149
Hello all 
I'm writing a series called Caribbean Cruise at the moment, and in it, one of the characters, a supporting castmember, if you will, has come to tick me off in a major way. His name is Keith Stevens, married to Kimberley Collins, and from the very start it has been made clear that his relationship with his wife is strained and, further down the track, it is learnt that his relationship with his sister-in-law Ashley is far from proper.... he has been cheating on his wife with her.
Though I do admit he is a semi-major part of the story, and removing him in a violent manner (at the moment as what I have wirtten of chapter 04 of Caribbean Cruise stands, having two of the main characters, both other men, stab him in the side and throw him over the side of their yacht, to be carried away into the wild windswept seas for the sharks and other creatures of nature to devour, is probably a pretty darn harsh way to go) might be difficult to incorporate into the tale, with the fact that the two supposedly 'good' main male characters are responsible for this guy's murder... something I admit might be hard to sell to the readers straight out.
I just got writing one night, and I guess my inner thoughts on the issue came out... Keith was the 'other man' to the main character Rick, and before I really knew what was happening, both he and Andrew Collins, Kim's father, had burst into the room to catch the cheating husband, the man who had slept with Rick's girlfriend Ashley, slapping around his own wife. Andrew grabs Keith, drags him out of the room and up onto the deck, though Kim begs him to leave her husband alone.
She isnt in good shape and Rick tells her its alright, that they just want to talk to her, and tells her to rest. He goes up after the two men, afraid that something could go wrong and Keith could be hurt at Andrew's hands, but then he starts to get angry himself when he thinks of how the wife-beater had abused Kim, and how he had slept with his own girlfreind behind his back. In a rage, the two men, Rick seeing red and Andrew angry and with little time left to live, agree with just a look to deal with Keith permanently.
Andrew goes over into a storage area, pulls out a machete, comes round from behind Keith and slashes him across the back, then, with the deep cut pouring blood out onto the rain-swept deck, they both haul him over the side into the ocean below...
What do you all think? Its just a story I know that, but MURDER? A bit too harsh? I just think Keith is a sleaze and he isnt a MAJOR benefit to the tale... an interesting way of dealing with him... something to bring the two other men closer together, to make their bond of friendship tighter still. I could rewrite it to have them boot Keith off at the nearest settlement wehn they take on fresh supplies, and tell him to make it under his own steam back to the States where Kimberley will be filing for an immediate and unchallenged divorce... is that, perhaps, the better option?
At least no violence there, everyone goes home happy.... well, not Keith either way, but at least in option two he's still alive!
I would especially be interested to know what anyone who has read my Caribbean Cruise stories thinks of the above options in dealing with Keith, as they would know of him a little better than I have explained...
Thank you very much for reading, and please enjoy the site!
I'm writing a series called Caribbean Cruise at the moment, and in it, one of the characters, a supporting castmember, if you will, has come to tick me off in a major way. His name is Keith Stevens, married to Kimberley Collins, and from the very start it has been made clear that his relationship with his wife is strained and, further down the track, it is learnt that his relationship with his sister-in-law Ashley is far from proper.... he has been cheating on his wife with her.
Though I do admit he is a semi-major part of the story, and removing him in a violent manner (at the moment as what I have wirtten of chapter 04 of Caribbean Cruise stands, having two of the main characters, both other men, stab him in the side and throw him over the side of their yacht, to be carried away into the wild windswept seas for the sharks and other creatures of nature to devour, is probably a pretty darn harsh way to go) might be difficult to incorporate into the tale, with the fact that the two supposedly 'good' main male characters are responsible for this guy's murder... something I admit might be hard to sell to the readers straight out.
I just got writing one night, and I guess my inner thoughts on the issue came out... Keith was the 'other man' to the main character Rick, and before I really knew what was happening, both he and Andrew Collins, Kim's father, had burst into the room to catch the cheating husband, the man who had slept with Rick's girlfriend Ashley, slapping around his own wife. Andrew grabs Keith, drags him out of the room and up onto the deck, though Kim begs him to leave her husband alone.
She isnt in good shape and Rick tells her its alright, that they just want to talk to her, and tells her to rest. He goes up after the two men, afraid that something could go wrong and Keith could be hurt at Andrew's hands, but then he starts to get angry himself when he thinks of how the wife-beater had abused Kim, and how he had slept with his own girlfreind behind his back. In a rage, the two men, Rick seeing red and Andrew angry and with little time left to live, agree with just a look to deal with Keith permanently.
Andrew goes over into a storage area, pulls out a machete, comes round from behind Keith and slashes him across the back, then, with the deep cut pouring blood out onto the rain-swept deck, they both haul him over the side into the ocean below...
What do you all think? Its just a story I know that, but MURDER? A bit too harsh? I just think Keith is a sleaze and he isnt a MAJOR benefit to the tale... an interesting way of dealing with him... something to bring the two other men closer together, to make their bond of friendship tighter still. I could rewrite it to have them boot Keith off at the nearest settlement wehn they take on fresh supplies, and tell him to make it under his own steam back to the States where Kimberley will be filing for an immediate and unchallenged divorce... is that, perhaps, the better option?
At least no violence there, everyone goes home happy.... well, not Keith either way, but at least in option two he's still alive!
I would especially be interested to know what anyone who has read my Caribbean Cruise stories thinks of the above options in dealing with Keith, as they would know of him a little better than I have explained...
Thank you very much for reading, and please enjoy the site!
