Bad Feedback

hakawati

Virgin
Joined
Feb 21, 2005
Posts
11
I am getting tired of people sending me email about what perceive as bad grammar. I know that I occasionally mess up on spelling by using a homonym, but that should not be what evokes hate mail. I am sorry if people do not understand compound, complex sentence structure, but do they have to be rude about their own stupidity?
 
If they've emailed you you should write back and point that out to them. Then point out the additional fact that they should go take a flying fuck at themselves.
 
I took a look at a couple of your stories. I hate to say this, but you are in desperate need of a good editor. There are a lot of grammatical errors in your writing.
 
drksideofthemoon said:
I took a look at a couple of your stories. I hate to say this, but you are in desperate need of a good editor. There are a lot of grammatical errors in your writing.

gotta agree.

You switch back and forth from present tense to past tense with frightening ease, there's very little dialogue, and so much exposition I couldn't become interested at all.

sorry.
 
Infamy is better than obscurity. Folks who took the time to e-mail you obviously felt the story was good enough that the jarring grammar errors detracted from their enjoyment. So the bad news is, they don't like your grammar. The good news is, they enjoyed your story enough that the didn't want to have the bad grammar ruining their enjoyment of the story.

Find a good editor you can work with and you and your readers will be much happier. Good luck to you.
 
I can't say I've read your stories but if something is getting in the way of that many people reading your stories easily, perhaps you should consider changing it. Alternatively, you could turn off the public voting and feedback.
 
willing to listen

drksideofthemoon said:
I took a look at a couple of your stories. I hate to say this, but you are in desperate need of a good editor. There are a lot of grammatical errors in your writing.

Which stories? And what type of errors?

Next, how do I correct a story that is already published?
 
hakawati said:
Which stories? And what type of errors?

Alright, I looked up "Two Old Friends." Here are a few examples:

Today I was not going to let that stand in my why.

way

I ran the rope under the bed, and began to synch it tight.

cinch

This forced her breast to point strait up, and show their meager fullness.

breasts/their or breast/its

straight

Now with no room to fight, no way to cry out, and no chance to plead she new that I had her and that there was nothing she could do about it.

knew

I wished I had done this 3 or 4 years earlier.

three or four

Those were all from the first 700 words of the story.

hakawati said:
Next, how do I correct a story that is already published?

There are instructions in the FAQ, but basically you just proceed as you do to submit a normal story, but after the title, add the word "EDIT."
 
hakawati said:
Which stories? And what type of errors?

Next, how do I correct a story that is already published?

All of your stories, VarianP has given you a few examples. Here's some more.

Daryl is the token geek on the rival college's basketball team. He is not a bad player, but not the typical player either. He only stands 6-foot tall, wears the thick black glasses

"the" is not needed. "wears thick, black glasses" flows so much better.

while he plays and the entire team knows that he is also virgin.


What does his wearing of glasses and his virginity have in common? It should have been broken up into two sentences.

This geek has a slightly different fame, and that is that he seems to always be in the right place at the right time, and good always seems to come from it.


that is that?

This is a run on sentence. It needs to be broken up. Why is his frame different? A much better rendition would read like this.

Daryl's frame was slightly different. He seemed to always be in the right place at the right time, and something good always seemed to happen.
- - -

The game had gone well, ended without any need for overtime and the visiting home team was heading into the locker room victorious.


Visiting home team? Either they are the home team, or the visiting team. If there was no need for overtime why mention it?

The coach tells everyone that the buss is leaving in 15 minutes,


Buss should be bus. 15 should be fifteen.

so everyone know


Know should be knows

that there is almost no time for showers, but the first few people in the locker room door might be able to squeak out a quick shower.


Confusing. Why would the coach let the players get on the bus without taking a shower. Who wants to be cooped up on a bus with a load of smelly basketball players.


This is just from two paragraphs in one story.
 
Last edited:
Thank you

Both of you, thank you very much for your comments. I do appreciate the time you have taken to be specific.
 
And if you get really pissed, let me know. I'm almost ready to add a few more troll heads to my collection <grin>
 
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