Back Again

[beths-virtue]

Loved in this blissfull denial of outside world,
wrapped in a cocoon ,

intruded
rudely reality shoulders through
forsaken ,

left
again in my
imperfections

 

[WickedEve]

Welcome back Beth. No comments on your poem, yet. I just woke up a few minutes ago and I can't have any serious thoughts first thing in the morning.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Welcome back, Beth.

 

[WickedEve]

Beth, if you're going to submit this then change blissfull to blissful. Other than that I really don't see anything I'd change.

 

[Angeline]

Welcome Back Beth!

Good to see you again.

I was playing around with your poem--seeing what different line breaks might do to it, and I came up with this. Just a thought!


Loved
in denial of outside world,

wrapped blissful
in a cocoon,

intruded
rude reality shoulders through
forsaken,

left again
in my imperfections.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Welcome back, Beth!

And about the poem, don't give in, man, turn it into a cheerful one regardless of the circumstances; end it on something like:

    no more worried about my imperfections.

Regards,