B&D D&S S&M and your first time

[Nosferatuness]

I started a thread in the BDSM forum but being writers I'd like your input please.

I'm writing my first lit story and it's BDSM based.

Tell me about your first time. Not first time sex. First time(s) exploring BDSM. How did it make you feel? Weere you nervous? Excited? Can you describe the feelings?

Your partner? Was (s)he experienced or not? How did the right or wrong partner add or take away from the experience?

If this was your first time, how did you know what you liked and where your boundaries were? Were there boundaries? Did you push yourself into unknown territory?

Please share!

 

[S-Des]

I started a thread in the BDSM forum but being writers I'd like your input please.

I'm writing my first lit story and it's BDSM based.

Tell me about your first time. Not first time sex. First time(s) exploring BDSM. How did it make you feel? Weere you nervous? Excited? Can you describe the feelings?

Your partner? Was (s)he experienced or not? How did the right or wrong partner add or take away from the experience?

If this was your first time, how did you know what you liked and where your boundaries were? Were there boundaries? Did you push yourself into unknown territory?

Please share!

YAY, a fun thread!

Anyway, my first time was very recently. She was more experinced and had been introduced to BDSM by someone who was very dominating (and had been into it almost his whole life). I was VERY nervous about a number of things, including comparing unfavorably to him. I worried about being able to call her demeaning names and being generally bossy without screwing up something that was very important to me. There was a great deal of nervousness about spanking her, mostly revolving around hitting her too hard or that it would take me to a place in myself I didn't want to go (and don't even get me started on the flogger). About the only area of it I was comfortable with was the tieing up. I had always wanted to try that, so it wasn't difficult to imagine I'd enjoy it.

She gave me a couple of links to read that helped me get a handle on why she enjoyed those aspects (trust me, I never dated a single woman in my life who gave me the impression she'd be interested in trying any of it). She also encouraged me a lot and assured me that whatever I did would be wonderful, never anything that she'd compare to the other guy (which I didn't believe a word of ).

Anyway, we got together and it was nearly perfect. I listened to her and did my best to read her body language. We did a number of things involving blindfolds, bare-hand spanking, floggers, tieing her to the bed, and forcing her to "please" me (which she is amazing at ). She swears that it was wonderful in every way (we did a lot of soft things as well, I'm big on cuddling & massages). The links she gave me talked about punishing and rewarding your sub (not the stereotypical sadism thing). I could understand that and it helped me to be myself, but still let me be something else. I would have had no interest in just beating her (or other aspects of the bondage side), but I found that it was very natural to give her what she wanted (and quite a bit of fun ).

Now I look at it like the other aspects of my sex life. It's not something that I have to pretend to like, it's something that I enjoy (just like oral sex or giving massages). I'm looking very much forward to discovering more about it with her, and don't fear that it will take our relationship to a bad place. Her ex was into complete domination and actually preferred punishment to sex. That was something I had no interest in and was concerned becauase she had enjoyed a relationship that consisted of just that. In the end, we both found out that we preferred something a little different. So in a way, it was like a first for both of us.

 

[kiten69]

Ok tossing in my 2 cents :

How did it make you feel? Were you nervous? Excited? Can you describe the feelings?

I got into BDSM nearly 2 years ago. Was I nervous? Hell yeah, it was like the feeling you get before you have sex for the first time, butterflies in the stomach and shaky hands. It was a rush.

Your partner? Was (s)he experienced or not?

Yes, my ex-partner had MANY years of experience as a Dom, and still participates in the lifestyle.

Although my current Sir is not nearly as experienced...he fullfills me in a way that my former never did, and never could...he is in a class all his own!

How did the right or wrong partner add or take away from the experience?

Having the wrong partner really does take away from the experience. For me having sessions with the "wrong partner" left me with kind of an "empty feeling" inside after the session was over. I had satisfaction from the spanking but there was still that feeling of "something missing". I never knew why I felt like that until just recently when I was lucky enough to find the "right partner".

He fullfills every fantasy I have of being dominated and controlled. He is tender, loving and giving but on the flip side can be cruel, sadistic and mean **drool** . He has shown me the way a submissive SHOULD be treated, therefore I am comfortable with him and would trust him with my life. I consider him my first "TRUE" Sir . Complete and TOTAL trust...no BDSM relationship can survive without it.

If this was your first time, how did you know what you liked and where your boundaries were? Were there boundaries? Did you push yourself into unknown territory?

My first "BDSM" experience was just some restraints, a blindfold and a ping-pong paddle. After that the sessions got longer and more intense, he would add different toys, restraints and various other "devices". For me I didn't (and still don't) know what I liked unless I tried it. Therefore I try to be open to just about anything new.

In the beginning He set my boundries, then as I got more experienced I started setting my own. Some boundries I have that are just a NO NO for me are...caning, blood play, needle play, diaper play, urine play, and I HATE masks (rather on me or Him, they scare me). So some limits are just things that you KNOW you will not like, or be into. Other limits have to be set by exploring that form of play. Thus far I've not found any limits with my current Sir, but I'm expecting that to change next week.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

My first BDSM thing...

I had this girlfriend some year ago. She drove me nuts. She was deep into BDSM and had this thing about tying her to the bed and "forcing" her to have orgasms. I wasn't really into it, but finally relented.

That night, I blindfolded her tied her spread-eagle on the bed, butt naked, then went out of the room, closed the door so I couldn't hear the screams and watched a movie on DVD.

I never saw her again