Awkward Time to discover my sub side..

[Alexandra1979]

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

 

[braincum]

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

If it didn't work it ain't gonna work.

Put your finger back on your clit and realize you're you own best friend, lover, counterpart.

Now, as you're approaching another orgasm, look around, realize your beauty, and show this guy how much he's missing!

 

[HottieMama]

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

I freely admit my opinion is probably worth shit when it comes to relationships, but the first thing i would do would be to tell him about your curiosity? and see where the conversation goes from there. Best case scenario: you explore with him as a FWB, and that bond reunites your 24/7 relationship as well...(albeit with a different dynamic) I do think he needs to know what he's getting into before you get back together with him though.

Best of luck...

 

[Auraka6669]

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

Why didn't it work out to begin with? That's the real question.
FWB can't be anything more than that... nuff said.

 

[CutieMouse]

Ex's are usually ex's for a reason. Anyone I've ever known who carried on a FWB relationship after a breakup, just created the situation of relationship purgatory instead of allowing themselves to move forward and find a new and improved, healthier, happier relationship with someone they were better suited for.

Take a 6 month break from dating, figure out what you want from relationships, yourself, and BDSM, then go find it.

 

[liberatedslave]

I guess you need to decide whether you're still in love with him or just want him back cos you've decided you're sub & he's convenient cos you already know & trust him. If you're looking for just a FWB I'd reckon you'll save a lot of hassle by finding another dom.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I'm down with Cutie and Auruka... There's a reason he's your EX-fiance. It appears that you two cared for/desired one another enough to think, plan and move towards marriage for crying out loud. SOMETHING drastic changed to cause that plan to end. What?

FWB with an ex-fiance'? Have you lost your everloving mind?

I hate to be blunt and mercenary here. but you need a reality check. FWB with an ex is a delusional plan based on the idea that you're pussy is so good he'll see the light and want it full time again. Sorry sweety, he's a guy. Ain't gonna happen. Why would he want to make the emotional investment to have the physical fun if he's having the fun without the investment? ? ? ?

Get your head and heart together. Give both of you time to heal and re-evaluate what you want, expect and are willing to accept (or NOT accept) in a relationship. IF (and that's a mighty, mighty big IF) you and he can meet and TALK about things 6 - 8 months, maybe a year from now, AND you both find you have compatible desires, goals, and expectations, then, and ONLY THEN should you consider dating a few times.

If the dating goes well, and you continue to work well together, then and only then should you consider going forward.

Good luck!

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm down with Cutie and Auruka... There's a reason he's your EX-fiance. It appears that you two cared for/desired one another enough to think, plan and move towards marriage for crying out loud. SOMETHING drastic changed to cause that plan to end. What?

FWB with an ex-fiance'? Have you lost your everloving mind?

I hate to be blunt and mercenary here. but you need a reality check. FWB with an ex is a delusional plan based on the idea that you're pussy is so good he'll see the light and want it full time again. Sorry sweety, he's a guy. Ain't gonna happen. Why would he want to make the emotional investment to have the physical fun if he's having the fun without the investment? ? ? ?

Get your head and heart together. Give both of you time to heal and re-evaluate what you want, expect and are willing to accept (or NOT accept) in a relationship. IF (and that's a mighty, mighty big IF) you and he can meet and TALK about things 6 - 8 months, maybe a year from now, AND you both find you have compatible desires, goals, and expectations, then, and ONLY THEN should you consider dating a few times.

If the dating goes well, and you continue to work well together, then and only then should you consider going forward.

Good luck!

You are so daddy-like

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Alexis, woman, seriously....

.....I know Chris pretty well. I know what makes him tick. You should have asked me for advice first, not the whole board. I'd give you more specific counsel about your ex.

 

[Tuomas]

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

You do realize that if you "submit" to him, he's going to want a bj, right?

 

[Alexandra1979]

You do realize that if you "submit" to him, he's going to want a bj, right?

Another reason that I want to recheck the facts about circumcision. If that issue can be resolved, I can eagerly suck his cock. I don't mind fellatio in principle. I just have foreskin issues.

 

[Alexandra1979]

.....I know Chris pretty well. I know what makes him tick. You should have asked me for advice first, not the whole board. I'd give you more specific counsel about your ex.

Probably right.

 

[Alexandra1979]

I'm down with Cutie and Auruka... There's a reason he's your EX-fiance. It appears that you two cared for/desired one another enough to think, plan and move towards marriage for crying out loud. SOMETHING drastic changed to cause that plan to end. What?

FWB with an ex-fiance'? Have you lost your everloving mind?

I hate to be blunt and mercenary here. but you need a reality check. FWB with an ex is a delusional plan based on the idea that you're pussy is so good he'll see the light and want it full time again. Sorry sweety, he's a guy. Ain't gonna happen. Why would he want to make the emotional investment to have the physical fun if he's having the fun without the investment? ? ? ?

Get your head and heart together. Give both of you time to heal and re-evaluate what you want, expect and are willing to accept (or NOT accept) in a relationship. IF (and that's a mighty, mighty big IF) you and he can meet and TALK about things 6 - 8 months, maybe a year from now, AND you both find you have compatible desires, goals, and expectations, then, and ONLY THEN should you consider dating a few times.

If the dating goes well, and you continue to work well together, then and only then should you consider going forward.

Good luck!

I appreciate what you're saying, but I'll lose him, anyway, as it stands. Why not explore it with someone I trust?

 

[HottieMama]

Another reason that I want to recheck the facts about circumcision. If that issue can be resolved, I can eagerly suck his cock. I don't mind fellatio in principle. I just have foreskin issues.

I am so curious..yet afraid to ask what the issue is with foreskin. If you need any articles or research on the subject, feel free to PM me...as a nurse and a mom of two boys, I have done a ton and would be happy to help.

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

What the bloody hell?

...right during a breakup with my ex-fiance. I wasn't honest enough with him and I think that we would have lasted if I had been. I think that he's Dom, based on what he has written (he's a writer on Lit and other sites). Even so, while he's the one that I really would like to submit to, we just broke up! What to do? Explore it first with him as a FWB or try to win him back first?

I am logged out for a day or two and you are posting this? By Jove, baby, why couldn't you just talk to me in private about this? Why not be upfront about your feelings? I care very much for you, Alexandra, but really, this is a bit of a jolt to me. Do you have any idea how shocking it is to log in and find out that my ex-fiancee is not only interested in D/s, but publically revealing that I am uncircumcised? Well, of course, I am uncut; I'm not a Yank. No offence to you Yanks, but most countries don't practice the butchering of the male genitals.

If you had bothered to pay attention and think logically, you'd realise that I would be as careful about cleaning my anatomy before fellatio as I would before vaginal sex. If I don't have smegma while shagging you, I am not going to have it when putting it in your mouth. I'd be far more careful about your well-being than you give me credit for being.

I love you, Alex, but you exasperate me right now. For the record, yes, I'd be willing to do the FWB thing and reconsider our breakup on two conditions:

1. We take things a little slower on the engagement. We rushed into this last time, and while I'm still willing to consider you as a future wife, I don't think that we need to be engaged again anytime soon. After all, we're not even a couple at the moment. To go back in as a fiance/fiancee makes no logical sense.

2. We have private discussions about our interests and true inclinations, both sexually and otherwise. These should be deep, profound, and candid conversations about what we really want. You need to be honest with me about such things. Now, you're telling me (and the entire Internet) the truth about how you feel about me, about sexual acts with me, about BDSM, and about porn. It's all well and good that you're opening your mind sexually, but we need to discuss why you're doing it and what else you're hiding from me. You need to gain a little more credibility, love.

In the future, dear, as much as I find this attention flattering, is it so much to ask you to come to me first about such things? If you had come to me about all of this first, we might have saved some trouble and not even broken up in the first place. A little less drama, darling, and a little more communication, is not too much to ask from you.

 

[CutieMouse]

You are a far more patient soul than I would be... good luck.

 

[HottieMama]

Once again i agree with CutieMouse.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I appreciate what you're saying, but I'll lose him, anyway, as it stands. Why not explore it with someone I trust?

Honestly, because it doesn't "feel" like you're interested in exploring this for YOU. It feels like you want to do this because you hope it will keep _him_ interested in you.

If you were genuinely interested in pursuing BDSM as a lifestyle you would be open to the idea of finding someone perhaps better suited to meeting your particular needs and desires. It wouldn't be focussed on your ex-.

Your interest in BDSM seems to have had a rather sudden onset. Coupled together with your posting your declaration of interest in exploring these things with your ex out here on the web for everyone to see (rather than talking to him about your feelings privately) makes me feel like your interest is there to garner attention. Which it has done, both ours and his. Mission accomplished.

If you and ChristopherMaxwell pursue things further, I wish you both the best of luck. But again, my advice to you both is to take some time apart to heal, to re-evalute your selves and your desires, and to reflect on just how suitable this potential partner might really be to meeting your own needs and desires, matching your own values of privacy, discretion, openess...

*nodnodnod*

And thank you KC... Daddy Geoff has spoken!

 

[liberatedslave]

I am uncut; I'm not a Yank. No offence to you Yanks, but most countries don't practice the butchering of the male genitals.

Yup, just the yanks and witch doctors in deepest darkest Africa. Says a lot about the concept of 'developed countries' IMO

If I don't have smegma while shagging you, I am not going to have it when putting it in your mouth.

"If you wouldn't suck it you shouldn't fuck it." So therefore if you would, you should.

I don't mind fellatio in principle. I just have foreskin issues.

Um... why? Personally in my... ahem... limited experience an uncut cock is gentler on both my mouth and my pussy. The foreskin is a cleverly designed bit of ergonomic technology that reduces friction, minimizing post shag soreness. Also you can just push it back and hold it in place for BJs if you prefer.

I would also point out that asking a grown man to go get circumsized is quite a big deal Would you have your clit cut off if he decided it made eating you out less gross? You need to have a think about what's really important IMO.

 

[HottieMama]

Yup, just the yanks and witch doctors in deepest darkest Africa. Says a lot about the concept of 'developed countries' IMO



"If you wouldn't suck it you shouldn't fuck it." So therefore if you would, you should.



Um... why? Personally in my... ahem... limited experience an uncut cock is gentler on both my mouth and my pussy. The foreskin is a cleverly designed bit of ergonomic technology that reduces friction, minimizing post shag soreness. Also you can just push it back and hold it in place for BJs if you prefer.

I would also point out that asking a grown man to go get circumsized is quite a big deal Would you have your clit cut off if he decided it made eating you out less gross? You need to have a think about what's really important IMO.

I this post!

 

[myinnerslut]

this is the greatest forum soap opera ever!

 

[Life_Noir]

I'm down with Cutie and Auruka... There's a reason he's your EX-fiance. It appears that you two cared for/desired one another enough to think, plan and move towards marriage for crying out loud. SOMETHING drastic changed to cause that plan to end. What?

FWB with an ex-fiance'? Have you lost your everloving mind?

I hate to be blunt and mercenary here. but you need a reality check. FWB with an ex is a delusional plan based on the idea that you're pussy is so good he'll see the light and want it full time again. Sorry sweety, he's a guy. Ain't gonna happen. Why would he want to make the emotional investment to have the physical fun if he's having the fun without the investment? ? ? ?

Get your head and heart together. Give both of you time to heal and re-evaluate what you want, expect and are willing to accept (or NOT accept) in a relationship. IF (and that's a mighty, mighty big IF) you and he can meet and TALK about things 6 - 8 months, maybe a year from now, AND you both find you have compatible desires, goals, and expectations, then, and ONLY THEN should you consider dating a few times.

If the dating goes well, and you continue to work well together, then and only then should you consider going forward.

Good luck!

What he said...And my own more modest pearl of ancient wisdom..
"Sex can't save a relationship...But it can damn sure kill one"
Of course the first part would be the applicable one..

 

[Life_Noir]

I am logged out for a day or two and you are posting this? By Jove, baby, why couldn't you just talk to me in private about this? Why not be upfront about your feelings? I care very much for you, Alexandra, but really, this is a bit of a jolt to me. Do you have any idea how shocking it is to log in and find out that my ex-fiancee is not only interested in D/s, but publically revealing that I am uncircumcised? Well, of course, I am uncut; I'm not a Yank. No offence to you Yanks, but most countries don't practice the butchering of the male genitals.

If you had bothered to pay attention and think logically, you'd realise that I would be as careful about cleaning my anatomy before fellatio as I would before vaginal sex. If I don't have smegma while shagging you, I am not going to have it when putting it in your mouth. I'd be far more careful about your well-being than you give me credit for being.

I love you, Alex, but you exasperate me right now. For the record, yes, I'd be willing to do the FWB thing and reconsider our breakup on two conditions:

1. We take things a little slower on the engagement. We rushed into this last time, and while I'm still willing to consider you as a future wife, I don't think that we need to be engaged again anytime soon. After all, we're not even a couple at the moment. To go back in as a fiance/fiancee makes no logical sense.

2. We have private discussions about our interests and true inclinations, both sexually and otherwise. These should be deep, profound, and candid conversations about what we really want. You need to be honest with me about such things. Now, you're telling me (and the entire Internet) the truth about how you feel about me, about sexual acts with me, about BDSM, and about porn. It's all well and good that you're opening your mind sexually, but we need to discuss why you're doing it and what else you're hiding from me. You need to gain a little more credibility, love.

In the future, dear, as much as I find this attention flattering, is it so much to ask you to come to me first about such things? If you had come to me about all of this first, we might have saved some trouble and not even broken up in the first place. A little less drama, darling, and a little more communication, is not too much to ask from you.

{ROFL!!! ...Unfortunately at myself... }
Sorry ..Hadn't read this one before I posted a few minutes ago..
This sort of changes everything... A Lot...
ANd while Mr Maxwell hasn't asked for anyones opinion...
I'm going to render mine to him gratis..{and probably worth every penny}

"Hommes... I played this game not too long ago with an ex... My advice is run...Don't walk... And don't turn around.."

 

[liberatedslave]

this is the greatest forum soap opera ever!

I can just see them on the 'friends' sofa...

"I'm still in bed at 10 and work began at 8
Can't move a muscle, I'm in too much fucking pain
I'll be lucky if can reach first gear
Cos my dick's been sliced and stitched to hell
A BJ would have me in tears... but

I'll be there for you."










No?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I can just see them on the 'friends' sofa...

"I'm still in bed at 10 and work began at 8
Can't move a muscle, I'm in too much fucking pain
I'll be lucky if can reach first gear
Cos my dick's been sliced and stitched to hell
A BJ would have me in tears... but

I'll be there for you."

Mind if I put that in my signature some time?