Awful Christmas Joke - Especially for Santa's Dungeon Mistress!

[Kassiana]

I read this and thought about that story, Santa's Dungeon. I'm sure some people here will get quite a kick out of it.
******************************
Santa was going over his numbers before the 25th. Production was down, costs were up. The elves were threatening a union strike. Mrs Claus said that her mother was going to be visiting for a month. The reindeer refused to fly under fog conditions any more.

Santa was in a horrible mood when an angel came in with the holiday tree.

"Where should I put this, Santa?"

That is why the angel ended up on top of the tree.

 

[Guest]

I read this and thought about that story, Santa's Dungeon. I'm sure some people here will get quite a kick out of it.
******************************
Santa was going over his numbers before the 25th. Production was down, costs were up. The elves were threatening a union strike. Mrs Claus said that her mother was going to be visiting for a month. The reindeer refused to fly under fog conditions any more.

Santa was in a horrible mood when an angel came in with the holiday tree.

"Where should I put this, Santa?"

That is why the angel ended up on top of the tree.

PMSL!!!!!

Brilliant! I could've included that in the story. LOL

Thanks for the laugh.

Lou

 

[Kassiana]

Thought it was you, but then I confused myself and thought it was Abstruse, for some strange reason.

I just read this joke today. I think it's a ton of fun.

 

[Guest]

Thought it was you, but then I confused myself and thought it was Abstruse, for some strange reason.

I just read this joke today. I think it's a ton of fun.

We are easily confused. Both as obsessed with this place as the other.

Abs did write a humour story for the Christmas comp, but hers was the Troll's Christmas Gift one. Damn funny!

 

[oggbashan]

Christmas Cracker Jokes

At daughter's wedding on Friday the theme was Christmas.

We had Christmas Crackers with the wedding 'breakfast'.

Here are three of the 'jokes' from the crackers:

*
Question: I have 5 eyes, 3 green ears and a yellow nose. What am I?
Answer: Ugly.

*

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because the class was very bright.

*
Q. What have elephants and peas got in common?
A. They're both hard to balance on the end of your fork.

British Litsters please add genuine Christmas Cracker jokes to this thread to show the rest of the world what we have to endure.

Og

 

[Guest]

I'm game! Og, those were just awful (and I'm sure I've had them in crackers in the past). Good to hear the wedding went well, btw!

Here's a few, from memory. I'll post the actual ones we get in our crackers next week.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.


Q. What is white and crumbly and swings through trees?
A. A meringue.


Q. What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.



Lou

 

[Kassiana]

I see...trolls, Christmas humor...give us the truth, Tat. You ARE Abstruse, aren't you?

Oh my, Og. Those are bad, though I did like the twist to the first one. "What am I? - Ugly." I would never say anything like that. Ever. Really.

 

[Kassiana]

According to my husband, this is the proper answer.

Question: I have 5 eyes, 3 green ears and a yellow nose. What am I?

Answer: The Yellow Nose of Texas.

 

[oggbashan]

Wedding Crackers

The jokes and the crackers were specifically arranged by the bride for her wedding.

Each guest had a personalised cracker from:

http://www.totallycrackers.co.uk

I think the jokes were some of the worst the company can produce.

Og

PS. The bride likes elephants and sheep. Many of the jokes mentioned them.

 

[Guest]

Re: Wedding Crackers

The jokes and the crackers were specifically arranged by the bride for her wedding.

Each guest had a personalised cracker from:

http://www.totallycrackers.co.uk

I think the jokes were some of the worst the company can produce.

Og

PS. The bride likes elephants and sheep. Many of the jokes mentioned them.

That's a brilliant service, I've never heard of it before. Must remember that, would be great for the girls' birthdays!

Thanks, Og.

Lou

 

[mismused]

I read this and thought about that story, Santa's Dungeon. I'm sure some people here will get quite a kick out of it.
******************************
Santa was going over his numbers before the 25th. Production was down, costs were up. The elves were threatening a union strike. Mrs Claus said that her mother was going to be visiting for a month. The reindeer refused to fly under fog conditions any more.

Santa was in a horrible mood when an angel came in with the holiday tree.

"Where should I put this, Santa?"

That is why the angel ended up on top of the tree.

=================

I needed a laugh, and got a bunch of 'em. Thanks,

mismused

 

[doormouse]

We are easily confused. Both as obsessed with this place as the other.

Abs did write a humour story for the Christmas comp, but hers was the Troll's Christmas Gift one. Damn funny!

That sucker made my faves. Trust me, not many do lol

Loved it ABS

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I see...trolls, Christmas humor...give us the truth, Tat. You ARE Abstruse, aren't you?

I think I've been insulted!!!!

 

[Guest]

I think I've been insulted!!!!

How do you think I felt when she said that?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

How do you think I felt when she said that?

LOL....Blessed?

 

[Guest]

LOL....Blessed?

Yes, love. Of course, love.

 

[snooper]

Roses are red,
Violets are blueish,
If it wasn't for Christmas,
We'd all still be Jewish.

 

[Guest]

Roses are red,
Violets are blueish,
If it wasn't for Christmas,
We'd all still be Jewish.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

bump for Christmas

 

[Kassiana]

I think I've been insulted!!!!

You may have been, dear, but never by me. Intentionally, anyhow.