G
Guest
Guest
Author can push his/her words along OK. Makes a lot of careless substitutes: there-their; where-were; threw-through; it-its, etc. Nice lead-in starts with "Her hand was wrapped around my cock..." Major flaws: The seduction scene is a cliche. Some of the writing descends into melodrama: "I filled her with wave after wave of my hit white passion." should have been left on the cutting-room floor. In conclusion, a potentially good writer who must spend more time on revision.
