Attractive women really need to stop hitting on me...

[Thoggy]

This is an open letter to all those attractive women out there who insist on hitting on me. I know how sexy I get once I have had 8 or 9 beers and I start shouting to my friends about how I so frickin' loaded right now. I know that it is difficult for you to resist when I get up to dance, stagger a little bit, start to fall over, grab a railing and accidently rip it our of the wall, then get angry when security tells me to leave. I know that drunk, clumsy men are like honey to uh..bees I believe it is...but I have to say that enough is enough.

When you hit on me and fondle me and trick me into coming home with you to give you three minutes of concentrated Jeff, it hurts me deep inside. I know I may pretend to enjoy it and mumble I love you before falling asleep outside in the bushes, but lately it has made me feel as if you all don't respect me as a person.

So if any of you want to just talk for once, to maybe have an intelligent conversation and not just go straight to the fucking, I for one would appreciate it tremendously. And this time, let's try it sober. Remember, you don't need fun to have alcohol.

Jeff

PS - Feel free to IM, PM, AOL, MSN or whatever the hell you prefer...

 

[Guttergoddess]

Damn you

I totally respect you. If I didn't would I give you my number so you could not call me in the morning? I know you found out that it's really the number to the spay/neuter clinic in town, but still, that doesn't mean I don't love you. Love of coure meaning want to hump you in public while seeing how many guys I can wink at over your shoulder....

 

[LadyofMagic]

ROFL ......alcohol....good, magical stuff.... ......did you also see Tinkerbell? pink elephants?..a fairy godmother??

 

[asianpearl]

very original

This is an open letter to all those attractive women out there who insist on hitting on me. I know how sexy I get once I have had 8 or 9 beers and I start shouting to my friends about how I so frickin' loaded right now. I know that it is difficult for you to resist when I get up to dance, stagger a little bit, start to fall over, grab a railing and accidently rip it our of the wall, then get angry when security tells me to leave. I know that drunk, clumsy men are like honey to uh..bees I believe it is...but I have to say that enough is enough.

When you hit on me and fondle me and trick me into coming home with you to give you three minutes of concentrated Jeff, it hurts me deep inside. I know I may pretend to enjoy it and mumble I love you before falling asleep outside in the bushes, but lately it has made me feel as if you all don't respect me as a person.

So if any of you want to just talk for once, to maybe have an intelligent conversation and not just go straight to the fucking, I for one would appreciate it tremendously. And this time, let's try it sober. Remember, you don't need fun to have alcohol.

Jeff

PS - Feel free to IM, PM, AOL, MSN or whatever the hell you prefer...

------------------------------------------

oi, very clever mate

 

[Thoggy]

Dear GutterGoddess, LadyofMagic and AsianPearl...

I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but seeing as how the three of you replied to my posting, it is obvious that you want me. While I am incredibly sick of the whole me-and-three-women-in-a-tub-of-baby-oil-scenario, I don't see that I really have any other option.

GutterGoddess, if you could pick up the trapeze, LadyofMagic can bring the camera and AsianPearl could ready the icecubes, hot wax and blindfolds. I will bring my erection, a lust for oily goodness and a sizeable amount of dirty talk.

Afterwards, I hope we can talk but if you just use me and leave I will be unsurprised. Who knows, perhaps you can reignite my faith in women.

Thoggy