Attorney Hunting

willfulbrat

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jan 10, 2001
Posts
847
Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys...



370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day: Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2; Two-faced tortfeasors, 1; Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3; Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2; Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4. Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).
 
I don't mind hunting them.....

....As long as no one trys to eat the remains. We'ed all shoot a rabid skunk, right, but "no tastee!"

Rhumb:D
 
Anyone burying attorney carcasses in a military or otherwise honourable grave is subject court-marshall.

I just know I am gonna regret hitting the submit reply button.
 
I LOVE this thread.

Now I'll be able to "bag my limit" in several states, and keep up with herd movements from one emergency room to another.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO
 
At last

:D Wow, A hunting seasion for the comon man or woman! I wonder how much it costs to get one mounted??:devil:
 
A young woman calls her mother. It's obvious that she's very distraught. She says, "Momma, momma, can you get pregnant from anal sex?"

Her mother replies, "Of course dear, where do you think attorneys come from?"

Ishmael
 
My daughter came to me and said.....

......."Daddy, I think I want to be a lawyer"

I said, "Honey, can't you become something with a socially redeeming value, like a used car salesman or a hooker?"

Rhumb:confused:
 
OK,

Here's my popcorn and pepsi. My chair is adjusted.

With luck all i have to do is wait!
 
Re: OK,

fgarvb1 said:
Here's my popcorn and pepsi. My chair is adjusted.

With luck all i have to do is wait!

Ish, did you think he thought we were talking about our "lovely" barristers here on Lit? Heavens!

We are talkin' bout that "other" bait.

Rhumb:cool:
 
An engineer slipped through the cracks and ended up in hell.

Being bored, he installed running water, then air conditioning.

One day God and Satan were talking on the celestial telephone and Satan told God all about the engineer. God said, "Hmmmmmmmmm, hold on a minute." God came back on the line and said, "That was a mistake, he wasn't supposed to be there. Send him back."

Satan said "No way."

God said, "I'll sue."

And Satan said, "And just where are You going to get an attorney?"

Ishmael
 
Re: Re: OK,

RhumbRunner13 said:


Ish, did you think he thought we were talking about our "lovely" barristers here on Lit? Heavens!

We are talkin' bout that "other" bait.

Rhumb:cool:

Ahhhhhh, Rhumb. We can love them as individuals and still hate them as a group. It's the American way.:D

Ishmael
 
The Lawyers, Doctors.........

Accounts and such were very upset waiting in line at the "Pearly Gates" as the Airline Captain walked to the front, dark glasses gleaming in the sun, his four stripes standing out on his sleeve brighter than angels and his kit bag held at a jaunty angel of nonchalance, holding all the secrets of the universe.

The peeved lawyer went to Saint Peter to complain about another pilot taking advantage, only to be told,"Shsss........, that's God......

He only thinks he is an airline Captain!"

Rhumb;)
 
Re: The Lawyers, Doctors.........

RhumbRunner13 said:
Accounts and such were very upset waiting in line at the "Pearly Gates" as the Airline Captain walked to the front, dark glasses gleaming in the sun, his four stripes standing out on his sleeve brighter than angels and his kit bag held at a jaunty angel of nonchalance, holding all the secrets of the universe.

The peeved lawyer went to Saint Peter to complain about another pilot taking advantage, only to be told,"Shsss........, that's God......

He only thinks he is an airline Captain!"

Rhumb;)

Hey Rhumb!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a pig and a pilot?



















A pig would never stay up 24 hours to sleep with a pilot.

Ishmael
 
Re: Re: The Lawyers, Doctors.........

Ishmael said:


Hey Rhumb!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a pig and a pilot?




A pig would never stay up 24 hours to sleep with a pilot.

I resemble that remark! I never slept with a pig!
I always went back to my own room.

Rhumb:p
 
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