Attempted haiku

[starrkers]

I had a lash at haiku this afternoon. They've posted already
3 haiku, 1 sound

They're meant to be erotic. What do you think?

 

[WickedEve]

I like how you used ascent/assent/a scent.

These poems are really not haikus. There is more to a haiku than 5-7-5. I'd simply call them a collection of small poems.

As far as the poems go, they're interesting because of the headings you're using. If they were grouped into one poem without the headings, then you'd have a much less successful poem.

 

[bluerains]

and

I like how you used ascent/assent/a scent.

These poems are really not haikus. There is more to a haiku than 5-7-5. I'd simply call them a collection of small poems.

As far as the poems go, they're interesting because of the headings you're using. If they were grouped into one poem without the headings, then you'd have a much less successful poem.

Senryu is a short poetic genre which focuses on people...and its pattern is a simple to portrays the characteristics of human beings and psychology of the human mind. Even when senryu depict living things such as animals, insects, and plant life, or when they depict inanimate objects, they are portrayed with the emphasis on their human qualities
I have always found that one of the best ways to understand this poetic form is to read fine examples of the poetry itself. , in an effort to promote a better understanding and appreciation of senryu poetry...
I have found senryu the best way to express short pattern poetry...

 

[WickedEve]

Senryu is a short poetic genre which focuses on people...and its pattern is a simple to portrays the characteristics of human beings and psychology of the human mind. Even when senryu depict living things such as animals, insects, and plant life, or when they depict inanimate objects, they are portrayed with the emphasis on their human qualities
I have always found that one of the best ways to understand this poetic form is to read fine examples of the poetry itself. , in an effort to promote a better understanding and appreciation of senryu poetry...
I have found senryu the best way to express short pattern poetry...

Great suggestion, blue! I'd like see more people use that instead of forcing all their short poems to match the haiku's 5-7-5.

 

[Tathagata]

eve's legs in the sand
why travel to distant shores?
paradise waits here

 

[WickedEve]

eve's legs in the sand
why travel to distant shores?
paradise waits here

I have sand fleas.
Other than that,
it would be paradise.
This is not a poem,
just a confession--
probably not a true one.

 

[Tathagata]

I have sand fleas.
Other than that,
it would be paradise.
This is not a poem,
just a confession--
probably not a true one.

a sand flea jumps
from thigh
to breast
such great envy
of such a small creature

 

[bluerains]

eve's legs in the sand
why travel to distant shores?
paradise waits here

your mind walks the beach
her legs the mode of transport
hunting ground orbits.....

 

[WickedEve]

a sand flea jumps
from thigh
to breast
such great envy
of such a small creature

In my heart, you'll always be a sand flea.

 

[Tathagata]

In my heart, you'll always be a sand flea.

you're just saying that to make me feel better

 

[Tathagata]

your mind walks the beach
her legs the mode of transport
hunting ground orbits.....

my mind sees her legs
the ocean moves in rhythm
to forbidden thoughts

 

[MungoParkIII]

For more information on Haiku

You might take a peek at these articles on Lit:

What is Haiku?

What is Senryu?

What is Zappai?

Erotic Haiku

There are several more articles in Jthserra's library getting even deeper into the art. If you want more information take a look at:

More on Haiku: Books

MP3

 

[bluerains]

my mind sees her legs
the ocean moves in rhythm
to forbidden thoughts

better than bosoms
bouncing blue waved symmetry
oracle outlawed
hum...you always did have a way of inspiring these patterned thoughts...ty T

 

[Tathagata]

better than bosoms
bouncing blue waved symmetry
oracle outlawed
hum...you always did have a way of inspiring these patterned thoughts...ty T

a friend of mine and I would play the haiku game when drinking.
we were young and silly and most of the poems had to do with genitalia, beer, and my friends resemblance to Yasser Arafat ( or Ringo Starr depending on my mood)

But I loved the challenge of coming up with something in a matter of minutes
even if it was juvenile and awful


refreshing blue surf
i choose the hot sand and eve
less danger of crabs