At what point, exactly, does a lesbian lose her virginity?

[Never]

Hmm?

 

[Never]

Goodness, this avatar is cute.

Okay, I'm going to bed but when I get up in the mid-afternoon I expect an answer.

 

[nasty]

When your mate finger fucks you, and your cherry pops, that should be an indication. But, I'm not a lesbian. Not even a female.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Hmm?

Chasing Amy

And yes you are still a virgin

 

[Calamity Jane]

Since the breaking of the hymen isn't all that reliable of an indicator anyway, and since i don't count a couple of experiences that i had, i'd say the definition is up to you.

I tend to think it's when you make a decision to participate in an intimate, sexual act (not necessarily penetration) with a partner. If your hymen happens to break during it, then you'll have physical evidence of your virginity going away, if not, so what?

On a side note, my sister has been involved with her girlfriend for 6 years. they've never engaged in sex that involved penetration to the point of breaking her hymen. i certainly don't consider her a virgin.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I tend to think it's when you make a decision to participate in an intimate, sexual act (not necessarily penetration) with a partner. If your hymen happens to break during it, then you'll have physical evidence of your virginity going away, if not, so what?

i've participated in intimate sexaul acts before, however my hymen did not break, but it was nowhere near enough to say i wasnt a virgin anymore..

to answer the question though.. when you feel that it constitutes having lost your virginity.. everyone will tell you something different as an answer.. and the only opinion that really counts is your own

 

[Cheyenne]

http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/sexuality/virginity.html

This was a fairly good discussion of the definition you're looking for.

I tend to go for the literal definitions of things, but I can see where that would be a problem for a lesbian in this case.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Never I'd say It's what you think. If you think you've gone far enough to not be one then you aren't, if not you are.

A girl playing with a vibrator or any toy can brake her hymen now can't she? does that mean she is no longer a virgin? no.

So as i said, If YOU feel you are no longer one then it's up to you

(I confused myself)

 

[Azwed]

I would say it is when you are intimate with a women and you have an orgasam with her. That does not require penatration. Some people can cum just from nipple stimulation, so it would not even mean clit play.

 

[sexy-girl]

i think everyones ideas and suggestions are pretty good ... i think you can count oral sex and masturbation from partner as losing virginity ... a bit of fumbling doesnt count though


never what do you think counts to you losing your virginity ?

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Virgin

1 a : an unmarried woman devoted to religion b capitalized : VIRGO
2 a : an absolutely chaste young woman b : an unmarried girl or woman
3 capitalized : VIRGIN MARY
4 a : a person who has not had sexual intercourse b : a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity <a virgin in politics>
5 : a female animal that has never copulated

sexual intercourse
Function: noun
Date: 1799
1 : heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis : COITUS
2 : intercourse involving genital contact between individuals other than penetration of the vagina by the penis

To me - the literal definition would be that a Lesbian is no longer a Virgn when she has sexual intercourse with her female partner.

Who cares? Maybe some Lesbians will always be technically virgins due to their sexual practices - *shrug*. Does losing your virginity make you a better person somehow?

 

[Never]

The answer would be that I care, if you think that's a silly thing to care about however, you are quite welcome to your opinion.

 

[sexy-girl]

never your not silly to care about it ... if it helps i often have wondered about it too and asked myself the same question

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

The answer would be that I care, if you think that's a silly thing to care about however, you are quite welcome to your opinion.

As you are to yours.

I don't know why you would or should care about something that seems so inconsequential and technical as the exact moment and circumstances that define when exactly a lesbian loses her virginity, but if it really matters to you, then I think I answered it in my post.

I don't think a woman's virginity has necessarily has to do with intact hymens as a person can technically have a hymen after intercourse, or they can lose their hymen in other ways, sexual or not.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

never your not silly to care about it ... if it helps i often have wondered about it too and asked myself the same question

Why?

To be clear, I am not saying it is silly to wonder about such things, just that I don't see virginity as defining anything in a Lesbian relationship. Technically a Lesbian pair could have a satisfying and varied "sexual" relationship for a lifetime without ever losing their virginity.

Does sexual intercourse define a lesbian sexual relationship?

Does losing your virginity signify some kind of accomplishment?

 

[sexy-girl]

i guess the question is does sex between two females count the same as sex with a male female couple

now of course theres a pretty obvious answers to that question but does society really feel those types of sex are equal ?

should lesbians care what society thinks ?

we shouldnt but we sometimes still do especially when we're figuring out our sexuality (not speaking for all lesbians)

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

i guess the question is does sex between two females count the same as sex with a male female couple

Count? In what way? As valid and valuable? A Lesbian sexual relationship between consenting adults is certainly as valid as any other relationship, and trying to define it in terms of a hetero relationship to validate or invalidate it seems fallacious to me. Lesbians don't have penises, they won't concieve as a result of their female to female sex, and technically they may never lose their virginity. Those factors no more validate or invalidate the relationship - what counts is that the relationship itself is one of love and comittments.

As with hetero or other gay relationships, sex doesn't even have to factor in for their to be love and comittment. As anyone knows who has seen dysfunctional families, heterosexual relationships that result in children may or may not be "valid" or valuable to society. I wouldn't even try to define a Lesbian relationship in the hetersexual terms such as physical sexual intercourse, etc. - just because Lesbian sex is different doesn't make it less valid or valuable.

we shouldnt but we sometimes still do especially when we're figuring out our sexuality (not speaking for all lesbians)

To me, part of figuring out your or my sexuality is the acceptance that we are unique, and it is our uniqueness that is valuable to society, our family and ourselves - not our sameness.

 

[sexy-girl]

i think you need to forget the dictionary definitions for a second ... society mostly says to lose your virginity you need to have sex

if a lesbian cant lose her virginity then what we do doesnt count as sex ?

thats why its important for me personally to say yes when i've had sex with a woman for the first time that counts as losing my virginity because it was sex

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

i think you need to forget the dictionary definitions for a second ... society mostly says to lose your virginity you need to have sex

What we need to forget is the conformity that some people want to use to define what your relationship is. Moreover, "sex", as we learned from Mr. Clinton does count even if it is just oral sex.

If it makes you feel more comfortable with yourself and your relationship to consider yourself a non-virgin, regardless of whether you have had genital to genital contact, then by all means do so. My point is that there are quite a number of sexual relationship types that do not conform to some of societies norms - that does not make them invalid.

if a lesbian cant lose her virginity then what we do doesnt count as sex ?

The way I read it genital to genital contact apparently counts as loosing your virginity according to the dictionary definition. Lesbians can do this, as can gay men. Does that "count"?

thats why its important for me personally to say yes when i've had sex with a woman for the first time that counts as losing my virginity because it was sex

Then do so - but I still think it is a false logic to try to conform in this manner, down that road is only delusions - IMO of course.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Laurel's signature says it more eloquently

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- ~Dr. Seuss

Without the spoons amongst us, who would stir things up?
-ranajja

 

[Siren]

 

[sexy-girl]

the bottom line though is i dont really care what society says or about conforming too societies beliefs

if everyone in the whole world said lesbian sex was evil and i'd go to hell i'd still be a lesbian


i think my beliefs and societies beliefs are two completely separate things neither are effected at ALL by the other ... and i care about my beliefs a lot more then societies beliefs

however do i sometimes care about what society believes ? ... yes sometimes even though i shouldnt i do

i think i've said more then i intended and more then i should of on the subject so thats my final say your be glad to hear

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Never, Sexy Girl

I am sorry if I seemed to be dismissing your concerns as "silly" - I just think being so concerned about using conventional definitions to define or frame a non-conventional relationship is not going to work for you.

 

[XXplorher]

When she tastes of the fruit……

Or rams some rather large dildo up in there.

 

[sexy-girl]

no problems its interesting to discuss and i think you can maybe tell its not as simply as yes or no or right and wrong


one thing i have to add though never might feel totally different about it all compared to me i dont speak for ALL lesbians or anything ... i thought i better say that before never gets her machette on me