mikey2much
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2006
- Posts
- 1,457
His name is anonymous and he gives good advice sometimes, other times he is so full of shit. Why is this guy so shy? He reads everything on the site and I bet he has given you guys some pretty different reviews.
I am going back through my stories and trying to edit them using the skills I have developed since I started to write here. I fear that I might lose the comments when they are re-posted, so I decided to share them with everybody before they go away forever.
The story is ‘Panama’, here are the only comments made, I wish that more people had taken the time to make a comment, but you take what you can get and be happy with them.
Great sea story
06/12/07 By: Anonymous in USA
Your story touched on one of my favorite memories. I was a deck ape on a destroyer and got to through the Panama Canal
the same way, albeit twenty-five years later than the story was set. Excellent rendering of what it was like to
first sign on and hit the first foreign beach. Splendid work! Keep it up!
my youth
06/27/08 By: Anonymous in uk
i sailed as a boy of 17 from uk to central america as an officer cadet , this could have been my story in vera cruz all them years ago , she was beatrice not francesca but there the difference end. thankyou
I have just submitted another chapter in this series, it should post this week.
My ‘Evolution’ series was my first stories and combined they had 129,598 people open them, only 75 voted on them, only two left a comment.
‘Evolution’ all six parts.
Great read
03/31/07 By: Anonymous in usa
great story. liked your style.
keep up the good work
Great Story
10/25/07 By: Anonymous in Australia
I enjoyed the whole saga of this story very much. It contains a good mix of emotions including lust, anger and passion. I enjoyed the historical references of the story and connected with the characters. Thanks for a stimulating and exciting story.
‘Glory hole Blues’ deals with the things that would drive a man to glory hole sex and the give and take involved. This story drew 47,457 people who opened it only 31 voted, only two commented.
different - but very interesting!
04/16/07 By: Anonymous
I don't usually read the longer stories, but yours was very interesting! well written, with character development even!
Good story, well told
07/19/07 By: Anonymous in usa
I liked your story and the way you filled in some of the reasons everybody was where they were. You should get an editor to help with your proof-reading, there were a couple of mistakes that should have been fixed before posting.
Keep it up.
‘Old Fashioned Love’ was first posted under the name of ‘Ratcatcher’, but was rejected. I changed the title and maybe added one sentence and re-submitted it as ‘Old Fashioned Love and it was posted. 47,457 people opened it but only 31 voted and only four commented, two left their names.
Writing a story that long is great but
02/28/07 By: Anonymous
if you really want people to read it, cut down on the paragraph size. I quit after one page because it was giving me a headache.
Uneven pace of training?
02/28/07 By: Anonymous in USA
You started with a very deliberate pace, then suddenly jumped ahead to a much faster pace, bringing them to a happy conclusion with the sex. If sex was the ONLY motivation in her life, maybe. Otherwise, it seemed almost as if you got tired of writing and decided to end it quickly.
You show some good skills as a writer, and my comments are intended as constructive criticism ONLY. Hang in there and keep writing.
Where to start.....
03/02/07 By: bdsmbill in USA
Several of the other people who have commented made good points. Paragraphs intended to be read on a computer screen need to be shorter than those intended for print. Also, you could use an editor. The constant problems with the grammar are a real problem, and the girl is not believable as an educated woman.
Nevertheless, the story had a certain charm. Writing is like anything else. You get better with practice, so keep practicing.
Needed to be longer
01/29/08 By: The_Fractal_King
The pace seems to accelerated much too fast, if he had stayed closer to his original plan or if she had resisted the later condition for a bit longer it would substantially improve what is already a very good, well thought out story. James is a compelling (if somewhat frightening) character btw, much better than the one dimensional "villains" in similar NcR stories.
‘The difference between homeless and helpless’ has gotten the most comments and my highest score but it only drew 6590 people to open it and 25 to vote, but it drew five comments, and some of them were from people that I hold in high regard here on Literotica.
08/10/07 By: CopyCarver in USA
You have an excellent and quite original concept and you write well.
My main suggestion would be to find ways to "show, not tell" or to rely on interior monologues instead of using quite so much narration to reveal key plot elements.
There were also a couple minor errors (e.g. a t-shirt that morphs into a blouse)and a couple typos. They're trivial, but they can diminish a reader's crucial "suspension of disbelief."
In most cases, I'd call STET on the story but this one is good enough to deserve being made even better. Perhaps you might consider treating it as a first draft, and then reworking some of the glitches? Your story is worth the additional time and effort.
08/04/07 By: Anonymous
Wow indeed. Fantastic story and very - real.
Not bad, Mikey
08/03/07 By: Jenny_Jackson in USA
This story is a little close to real life for a lot of people, I think. But I don't see that as a bad thing in this case.
JJ
Real good.
08/02/07 By: LadyCibelle
Yeah Mikey,
That's a damn good story you have here. There were a few minor mistakes but nothing glaring enough to put me off reading.
Good job.
WOW
08/02/07 By: Anonymous in USA
NOW THAT WAS A EERIE BUT GOOD..VERY GOOD TALE..I LIKED IT..I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR HER TO HAVE COLLECTED THAT REWARD MONEY BUT U DID RIGHT SHE HAD REWARD ENOUGH FOR HER TO BE HAPPY FROM JUST TAKING HIS MONEY..I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE OF YOUR SUBMISSIONS..THANKS
‘Women in Charge’ is a series of recollections from when my partner and I gave parties for the Fem-Dom crowd in NE Pa. It is one of my most popular stories, 48,744 readers opened it, 54 voted and three left comments.
Many year since I have played sexually near there
06/06/09 By: Anonymous in USA
In intially I started in sexual outlandishness as a swinger. Then a lovely pair of submissives needed me as a dom, one at a time. I was quite willing, However, still further, over time, I have changed in my sexual orientation a bit, and am no longer just a pure dom. I now also like cross dressing and fantasize about submission to a lovely domme. However, I did keep from masterbating while I read these wonderful tales.
Well done!
05/30/07 By: BradBigBrain
I like a bit of the fem-dom stuff. And I really like that it's based on truth.
Great story
05/30/07 By: loves2kiss56 in USA, South East/South Central Pa.
Loved this story, being based in fact made it more exciting. Makes me want to make plans for a vacation in the Poconos!
I love to write but it is so very nice to get the feedback. It lets us know that we are making progress in our craft. I hope that I can keep these comments with my re-edited stories but if not I wanted to share them with you, and make sure that you readers out there understand how important your feedback is to us authors. A big hardy thank you to everyone who took the time to tell me how they felt about my stories
I am going back through my stories and trying to edit them using the skills I have developed since I started to write here. I fear that I might lose the comments when they are re-posted, so I decided to share them with everybody before they go away forever.
The story is ‘Panama’, here are the only comments made, I wish that more people had taken the time to make a comment, but you take what you can get and be happy with them.
Great sea story
06/12/07 By: Anonymous in USA
Your story touched on one of my favorite memories. I was a deck ape on a destroyer and got to through the Panama Canal
the same way, albeit twenty-five years later than the story was set. Excellent rendering of what it was like to
first sign on and hit the first foreign beach. Splendid work! Keep it up!
my youth
06/27/08 By: Anonymous in uk
i sailed as a boy of 17 from uk to central america as an officer cadet , this could have been my story in vera cruz all them years ago , she was beatrice not francesca but there the difference end. thankyou
I have just submitted another chapter in this series, it should post this week.
My ‘Evolution’ series was my first stories and combined they had 129,598 people open them, only 75 voted on them, only two left a comment.
‘Evolution’ all six parts.
Great read
03/31/07 By: Anonymous in usa
great story. liked your style.
keep up the good work
Great Story
10/25/07 By: Anonymous in Australia
I enjoyed the whole saga of this story very much. It contains a good mix of emotions including lust, anger and passion. I enjoyed the historical references of the story and connected with the characters. Thanks for a stimulating and exciting story.
‘Glory hole Blues’ deals with the things that would drive a man to glory hole sex and the give and take involved. This story drew 47,457 people who opened it only 31 voted, only two commented.
different - but very interesting!
04/16/07 By: Anonymous
I don't usually read the longer stories, but yours was very interesting! well written, with character development even!
Good story, well told
07/19/07 By: Anonymous in usa
I liked your story and the way you filled in some of the reasons everybody was where they were. You should get an editor to help with your proof-reading, there were a couple of mistakes that should have been fixed before posting.
Keep it up.
‘Old Fashioned Love’ was first posted under the name of ‘Ratcatcher’, but was rejected. I changed the title and maybe added one sentence and re-submitted it as ‘Old Fashioned Love and it was posted. 47,457 people opened it but only 31 voted and only four commented, two left their names.
Writing a story that long is great but
02/28/07 By: Anonymous
if you really want people to read it, cut down on the paragraph size. I quit after one page because it was giving me a headache.
Uneven pace of training?
02/28/07 By: Anonymous in USA
You started with a very deliberate pace, then suddenly jumped ahead to a much faster pace, bringing them to a happy conclusion with the sex. If sex was the ONLY motivation in her life, maybe. Otherwise, it seemed almost as if you got tired of writing and decided to end it quickly.
You show some good skills as a writer, and my comments are intended as constructive criticism ONLY. Hang in there and keep writing.
Where to start.....
03/02/07 By: bdsmbill in USA
Several of the other people who have commented made good points. Paragraphs intended to be read on a computer screen need to be shorter than those intended for print. Also, you could use an editor. The constant problems with the grammar are a real problem, and the girl is not believable as an educated woman.
Nevertheless, the story had a certain charm. Writing is like anything else. You get better with practice, so keep practicing.
Needed to be longer
01/29/08 By: The_Fractal_King
The pace seems to accelerated much too fast, if he had stayed closer to his original plan or if she had resisted the later condition for a bit longer it would substantially improve what is already a very good, well thought out story. James is a compelling (if somewhat frightening) character btw, much better than the one dimensional "villains" in similar NcR stories.
‘The difference between homeless and helpless’ has gotten the most comments and my highest score but it only drew 6590 people to open it and 25 to vote, but it drew five comments, and some of them were from people that I hold in high regard here on Literotica.
08/10/07 By: CopyCarver in USA
You have an excellent and quite original concept and you write well.
My main suggestion would be to find ways to "show, not tell" or to rely on interior monologues instead of using quite so much narration to reveal key plot elements.
There were also a couple minor errors (e.g. a t-shirt that morphs into a blouse)and a couple typos. They're trivial, but they can diminish a reader's crucial "suspension of disbelief."
In most cases, I'd call STET on the story but this one is good enough to deserve being made even better. Perhaps you might consider treating it as a first draft, and then reworking some of the glitches? Your story is worth the additional time and effort.
08/04/07 By: Anonymous
Wow indeed. Fantastic story and very - real.
Not bad, Mikey
08/03/07 By: Jenny_Jackson in USA
This story is a little close to real life for a lot of people, I think. But I don't see that as a bad thing in this case.
JJ
Real good.
08/02/07 By: LadyCibelle
Yeah Mikey,
That's a damn good story you have here. There were a few minor mistakes but nothing glaring enough to put me off reading.
Good job.
WOW
08/02/07 By: Anonymous in USA
NOW THAT WAS A EERIE BUT GOOD..VERY GOOD TALE..I LIKED IT..I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR HER TO HAVE COLLECTED THAT REWARD MONEY BUT U DID RIGHT SHE HAD REWARD ENOUGH FOR HER TO BE HAPPY FROM JUST TAKING HIS MONEY..I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE OF YOUR SUBMISSIONS..THANKS
‘Women in Charge’ is a series of recollections from when my partner and I gave parties for the Fem-Dom crowd in NE Pa. It is one of my most popular stories, 48,744 readers opened it, 54 voted and three left comments.
Many year since I have played sexually near there
06/06/09 By: Anonymous in USA
In intially I started in sexual outlandishness as a swinger. Then a lovely pair of submissives needed me as a dom, one at a time. I was quite willing, However, still further, over time, I have changed in my sexual orientation a bit, and am no longer just a pure dom. I now also like cross dressing and fantasize about submission to a lovely domme. However, I did keep from masterbating while I read these wonderful tales.
Well done!
05/30/07 By: BradBigBrain
I like a bit of the fem-dom stuff. And I really like that it's based on truth.
Great story
05/30/07 By: loves2kiss56 in USA, South East/South Central Pa.
Loved this story, being based in fact made it more exciting. Makes me want to make plans for a vacation in the Poconos!
I love to write but it is so very nice to get the feedback. It lets us know that we are making progress in our craft. I hope that I can keep these comments with my re-edited stories but if not I wanted to share them with you, and make sure that you readers out there understand how important your feedback is to us authors. A big hardy thank you to everyone who took the time to tell me how they felt about my stories
