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Hurrah!! Literotica has just accepted "Haunted," part of a much, much longer series entitled "A Love Story in A Minor." Before I submit them as finished pieces, I'd like to get some feedback and suggestions for improvement.
To give you some background on this story set: It is a love story (obviously) between two demons.. well, a demon and a demonic avatar. Ashlee, the demon, and Drakalen, the avatar have a kiss-or-kill relationship that spans from 1200's Europe into modern day. Both are selfish, wanton creatures, completely incapable of the finer points of love.. there is more possessive, jealous, dominant cat-fighting in this line than I can express. The particular part of the story that has actually been written up as "stories" takes place in modern day America and Hong Kong. This is the list of stories and my thoughts on them.
(sidenote) There is also art that goes along with this... I just have to scan it and get it put into the stories in the appropriate ways.
1. "Phantoms" is simply a flashback for Drakalen over the twists and turns his life has taken. There's something missing in it, and I'm not sure what.
2. "Irony" A bit scattered, from two seperate viewpoints, as Ashlee and Drak run into each other unexpectedly. I'm not sure if it needs more detail, or already has too much.
3. "The Frozen Man" There's a piece missing between Irony and this one. I'm not sure whether to leave it alone, or rewrite that piece and add it in.
4. "The Ground Beneath His feet." Once again, something missing, but i don't know what.
5. "Requiem In Roses." Needs some minor rewriting and retouching, but I'm too close to it and can't see where.
6. "Hush." Not the final piece in the series, but the final piece of that particular segue. I'm hopelessly, helpless enthralled with the mental picture I have in my head of it, and can't see anything wrong with it. (hence the request for help.)
"Haunted" comes after Hush... with yet another piece that has so many issues it can't possibly be put up anywhere right now between.
the link to the story set as it stands right now is
www.livejournal.com/users/loveinaminor
(And for the love of cheese and crackers... it isn't underage smut. it's A Minor as in the chord set... sheesh.)
To give you some background on this story set: It is a love story (obviously) between two demons.. well, a demon and a demonic avatar. Ashlee, the demon, and Drakalen, the avatar have a kiss-or-kill relationship that spans from 1200's Europe into modern day. Both are selfish, wanton creatures, completely incapable of the finer points of love.. there is more possessive, jealous, dominant cat-fighting in this line than I can express. The particular part of the story that has actually been written up as "stories" takes place in modern day America and Hong Kong. This is the list of stories and my thoughts on them.
(sidenote) There is also art that goes along with this... I just have to scan it and get it put into the stories in the appropriate ways.
1. "Phantoms" is simply a flashback for Drakalen over the twists and turns his life has taken. There's something missing in it, and I'm not sure what.
2. "Irony" A bit scattered, from two seperate viewpoints, as Ashlee and Drak run into each other unexpectedly. I'm not sure if it needs more detail, or already has too much.
3. "The Frozen Man" There's a piece missing between Irony and this one. I'm not sure whether to leave it alone, or rewrite that piece and add it in.
4. "The Ground Beneath His feet." Once again, something missing, but i don't know what.
5. "Requiem In Roses." Needs some minor rewriting and retouching, but I'm too close to it and can't see where.
6. "Hush." Not the final piece in the series, but the final piece of that particular segue. I'm hopelessly, helpless enthralled with the mental picture I have in my head of it, and can't see anything wrong with it. (hence the request for help.)
"Haunted" comes after Hush... with yet another piece that has so many issues it can't possibly be put up anywhere right now between.
the link to the story set as it stands right now is
www.livejournal.com/users/loveinaminor
(And for the love of cheese and crackers... it isn't underage smut. it's A Minor as in the chord set... sheesh.)
